THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVII, Issue 205, 29 August 1936, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

HOW THEY HOWL! Extract from an essay on shearing, written by a small suburban pupil: "The shearer grabs a sheep out of the pen, pushes the shears into the wool, and cuts the fleas off it." The old home and its inhabitants rejoiced at the arrival of the new baby. A little lad of the family was told that if he was good he might see the small THE SMALL person —and was duly inBABY. troduced to the same. He looked very curiously at the wee, red mite and then he solemnly observed, "Why, he isn't even ONE." He had probably been used to compute babies in terms of birth anniversaries. Mention was made in tliese colonial records of the nice Australian worrud "larrikin." The name arose from the habit of an Australian constable named Larkin, THE who tried to sthop the BROTHERHOOD, byes "larrikin" about —as he said. Wance, too, there was a policeman wid an Irish name who did his duty in a suburb of a far city. And one day a boy was riding his bike on a footpath, and a mate of the boy said, "My wqrd, Snooty, you want to watch out —the John will have you." And Snooty replied, "Go on! He'd never touch me —me name is O'Tooley—and his name is Brannkran." This, of course, is a story of the airly days—in Milbourne.

Not to be forgotten that Colonel C. T. Major, D.5.0., who has commanded "King's" for so many years and who is retiring for a while, during the Great THAT OLD War also commanded the JACKET. Auckland military dis-

trict. It is even better remembered that he used to be in his military manifestation "Major Major," which was curious. It was notable during his local command that he resumed the well-worn and most appropriate field service khaki of New Zealand South African Forces. In those days field officers, forced by circumstances to remain in New Zealand—where the work they did was absolutely invaluable—did not rush into "pretties." The officer commanding in New Zealand (Sir Alfred Robin), for instance, assumed a varied uniform that seemed like a compound of all arms, and officers lent from the Imperial Army now and then, referred in private to him as "Stonewall." So many gentlemen familiar to citizens emerged in glittering staff red as to caps and so forth that plain, hard-worn stuff was a rest to the eye.

There is a news note from Nanking mentioning in four lines of type that the Chinese, who slew two Japanese newspaper

men, were captured and SUMMARY executed on the day of JUSTICE, capture. This summary

disposal of small affairs seems habitual in the East, where the man supply affords ample scope to executioners. You do not recall perhaps the story of an English admiral who, having occasion to complain of pirates, spoke to the local Chinese authority? The authority at once mustered thirty head of local Chinese, knelt them on the shore and decapitated them. One has seen a photograph of this little party with heads lying on the sand, and British officers asked how the authority knew that the, right men had been killed. The headman simply replied, "We are hot—quite sure—but A New Zealand engineer in charge of Chinese and Chinese work in that almost inexcusably populous land, told present Westerner that among his enormous gangs of coolies there were necessarily evil ones. He complained to the headman of a village that stealing had been going on. The headman made instant inquiries, called up the village executioner, who, armed with his heavy-backed sword, went round the streets lopping a head wherever the headsman indicated a suspect. The New Zealand man, rather horrified at this cool proceeding, protested. "You leave it to me," said the headman. "I know"—and as nobody said a word, it seems he did.

The housewife who mercilessly massacres a flea may be interfering with the profound researches of scientists—although it isn't

likely. There are, one FORTUNES gathers, about thirty difIN FLEAS, ferent kinds of fleas in

New Zealand and only a couple of dozen different species in Australia, I and they are most conservative—all have their favourite hosts. They might, of course, hop from a pig to yourself—but if they are pig fleas they don't like people —and vice versa. They always hop back home. Scientists attach an almost spiritual importance to new fleas and fit up hunting parties aided by Rothschild millions to search for them. Dr. A. H. Baldwin, of Sydney, has been highly commended by the greatest English flea connoisseur (Dr. Karl Jordan, of Tring) for spending months in North Queensland, whence lie brought two perfectly new fleas: Dr. Baldwin's life is not solely spent with fieas. Part of it is spent with a single family of beetles and he divides the year so that he can get a good few weeks with a 'butterfly he rather likes. One of the mysteries of flea research is how in the name of Mike a couple of new fleas can be dispatched, say, from Holoobooloo in the North of Queensland to Tring, arriving in perfect health and in biting and jumping order. One ought to keep all one's fleas. They may be new sorts —and valuable to the Rothschilds.

You've noted, of course, that there is an official objection to the man for whose Saturday leisure officialism has fought, to the man

who works for another TWO-JOB MEN. boss in his restricted

leisure. As a matter of fact, it has been the horny-handed himself who from time out of mind has objected to his fellow man "snavelling two jobs." He lias had no particular time for the chap who runs a farm and holds down a town billet as well, hasn't even been too loving about the man who builds houses in the day and makes furniture for sale from knock-off till midnight. One's experience of this ache for extra work and money has been largelv confined to the foackblock eockey who in due season leaves the dear old farm to mother and Jim and goes shearing or grass seeding or bueli chopping and so forth. In earlier days the shearer (etc.) without a farm became

positively ropable and there have been fights about the same. The prevailing idea in the new 'humanity, and the necessity for rest in order 'that all hands do not over-produce and all feet get leisure is that equality of opportunity is shared by all. Presumably the man who is awarded rest by the State (and thus by his boss) robs his fellow worker, his boss and his Government if lie is a two-job man. You know, of course, that for years and years State servants were forbidden by the State to employ their leisure in other professions— you could not add up figures from nine till four and teach people all night—the idea being precisely the same as that of Jim the shearer, who hit the roof when all the district cookies went shearing to the detriment of Jim. The basic notion is rest for all—let's all be compelled—even politicians—so manv of whom are two-job men.