BURLESQUE!

Auckland Star, Volume LXVII, Issue 143, 18 June 1936, Page 8

BURLESQUE!

STUDENTS EN FETE.

UNIVERSITY PROCESSION. REVELLERS HELP CRIPPLES. Tine: From about one o'clock until some time later. Place: Queen Street, or rather what was left of it, because the street was packed with people, so that there simply wasn't a street.

Occasion: The procession of the Auck land University undergraduates —and graduates—in aid of the Crippled Children's Fund.

It is a long time since Auckland has had a procession, so that, apart from the fact that it was in aid of a cause which all must endorse, thousands flocked to see it. Queen Street to-day, from the bottom to the Town Hall, and from the Town Hall up to Karangahape Koad, was simply alive with people when the procession was passing; and though traffic was hopelessly jammed —like IXB (but more of that anon) —nobody cared a jot. You could tell when it was coming if you were small and standing right in the background, by the gales of laughter that swelled ever and anon. Tale of "Uncle Scram." "What's that?" asked one old lady. "Scram is east. . . . Goodness' me!" And then that particular exhibit came nearer, and the thousands could read for themselves. One does not know whether the Rev. C. G. Scriingeour will appreciate being linked with a certain actress of a certain fame, but this is what the placard read: "Scram is east and Mae is West, but they'meet on the Friendly Rode." Yes, on the lorry they had an aerial, too. It was made of several strands of barbed wire. Apparently the aerial was to be used as a clothes line, too, for on it were pinned several indispensable items of ladies' underwear. But not content with that, someone dressed appropriately for the occasion was adorned with the notice, "Uncle Scram, well bred and jammed."

Apparently the students do not think much of the efforts made for the building of the harbour bridge—though "it's quite' Semple," according to a notice. The exhibit was an old wreck of a bridge, which the ancient Britons would have scorned. It was made with rope and pieces of string, and complete with several spider _ webs. There were a series of views to be seen from this noble structure. "Phews from the bridge," some bright youth had written, "No. 1, Orakei." "Be Heir-minded."

And then the crowd really laughed. It was a tale of the Dionne family. Five lusty crowing infants were wheeled up the street in prams—no, sorry, wheelbarrows. They were accompanied by a bevy of lovely nurses, who were attending what were termed "Just a bunch of suckers," who, so-called, were driuking from tHeir boitles, a habit which clings. A wide streamer, held by two aviators, gave Auckland this advice, "Be "Heir-minded." But behind this family there was another baby, this time in a pram, or it was a pram once. Apparently M. Dionne was not content, for this last, loneliest, loveliest,i apart was called •'Dionne VI."

The procession had an elephant, too, by the courtesy of the museum— students always acknowledge little loans like that. But for some strange reason this beast was pink. Ah, yes, there is a song about pink rajahs, isn't there?

The Vestals Vergin

There is no room to tell of the vestal virgins, who were "vergin'" on the indecent, or so they admitted. There is no room to tell of the experiences of "Vasolini (in the cart)," because he was housed in a milk float. Now, whoever would hay? trusted the students with a cannon? Yet they got it from somewhere. A well-known firm of corset manufacturers received an ovation; but these perfect ladies are not skilled in the art of putting on corset*, or so one should judge. Four or live bright youths carried an oid tin bath, for the same reason as an ambitious youngster haygs up a pillowcase for Santa Claus.

In and out of the crowd young women wended their way collecting for the cause. They carried "handles." A handle is a utensil considered by those who know, to be an excellent beer container.

The amount they collected will not be known until later; and similarly the fines collected by a mock court is a talc for the future. But it was good fun. The students were as well-behaved as they might have been under the circumstances; and the cause was a good