RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVI, Issue 266, 9 November 1935, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

(By ZAMIEL.)

It is pointed out that the Suez Canal "cannot bo closed." Some cureless chap has probably mislaid the dynamite.

The League of Nations will probably place a baa on key products. That will make war profiteers tear their locks.

A new era is opening in Greece — they've been burning the candle at both ends.

Gangs continue to massacre gangs in U.S.A. And very possibly the police say, "That's all right with me."

"Room for six B stations.' , "Ruddy" is the polite rendering—and both are impolite.'

It is possible that Alsatians may be The Lorrainians are already on a leash.

Such a lot of Auckland kiddies burnt Mussolini for a Guy. It's the very Duce (Auckland pronunciation).

Headline, "Early Risers Get Best Bags." If you were to stay awake all night you* might get a whole suit.

University students are invited to spend their vacation working on farms. Cultural groundwork as it were—and a good idea at that.

A noted motorist declares that girls are more precocious than boys. True, brother. .Mostly wheel and not much whoa with sister in the car.

There are ever so many brand, spanking new motor cars in our suburbs. The retail price of butter is down a penny. These windfalls!

"Abyssinian warriors assert that they saw St. George ridinir a white horse at Adowa." Surely this can't be our George?

You are- wrong, Horace. Every Parliamentary candidate has at least a fifth standard pass and several sitting M.P.'s have attained a sixth standard certificate.

I fear the ex-King of Greece may return to the ancient throne of his fathers. It is rather a pity—he seems a nice young fellow, judging by his photographs.

An English commentator of the All Blacks remarked of one match that they played like elderly gentlemen. He must not have known that our hoys are probably training to become ALP.'s.

Very likely I shall have to traverse the harbour on Christinas Day. lam debating whether to come from the northern shores by the bridge, per dinghy.

I observe with agony that the men of H.M.S. Diomcde, away on foreign service, will be unable to vote at our election. Heavens, if this bo the price of Admiralty, I may vote for the abolition of the Navy.

An Ab leader having a day out in the Ab capital was killed together with four officer friends while in a taxi-cab. I wonder if the It High Command 1 has thought of presenting all Ethiopian leaders with motor cars?

The Chairman: Has anyone got a motion to move? ■

A Voice: Yes; I move the chairman now vacates the chair? The Chairman: I won't take it. Anyway, it would have been awkward to carry home.

Whangarei councillors will sec a series of screen pictures carefully selected to

give no offence to clients on Christmas Day. I sincerely trust that the members of the selective body will each be accompanied by a moral protector. One of the pictures might contain a smile — or even a laugh.