THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVI, Issue 223, 20 September 1935, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

Dear M.A.T.,—Phil, aged four, appeared to enjoy all forms of weather. He would stand at the window during a storm, exclaiming gleefully as he watched, tne BAIN SEEDS. orchard trees bowing before the wind and the flowers in the garden beaten to earth by peltin"- rain. One stormy day he had a new thru —his first hail storm. Watching the pellets of ice dance on the earth and heap on the window sill he became wildly excited, dancing about and calling loudly, "Come, everybody, come quickly and see the rain seeds' Ana all the grown-ups saw was hail.—Ann Tye.

The occasional eccentricities of the convive are of pathetic interest to total abstainers hence this true example. Ho had riddea up to the hostelry on an WHEELS WITHIN ancient push bike and WHEELS. employed the ensuing (hours in refreshment and reflection. Ultimately he was engaged in the last bottle of ale in a notable series. He found on filling his glass that some yet remained in the bottle, and solemnly handed this remnant back to the gentleman at the bar. You owe me a fallsh bottle!" he said. He made towards the open air and his bicycle. Attempting to mount, ho desisted after the second essay. "Better call a taxi," suggested a friendly soul. A taxi was called. The driver lifted "the ancient bike on to the luggage carrier. The convive got in. "Minja don' scratch my bike," said the passenger.

Dear M.A.T., —Nobody is surprised at any new and queer club tho United States invents. Our Western cousins seem to bo getting Easternised even though "WITH GOOD "Never the twain shall CAPON LINED." meet." Uncle Sam has a

Fat Man's Club—or manyFat Men's Clubs. The Chinese, especially those uncounted millions who dwell in the north, go in for fatness as a liobby and a pleasure — the rounder the man the better he is loved. Ho selects his missus not for her length but her circumference. Simple little meals of skinned ducks' feet, stuffed sweetbreads and birds' nests give that rotundity so prized in the fatter East. The American Fat Men's Clubs give hope for the success of good-will missions (which are all the rage) to troubled China and other countries where fat is a passport. A "lean and hungry look" is no passport anywhere.—W.B.

Mention herein of Mr. Serjeant Talfourd (the original of "Traddles" in "David Copperfield") brings in Mr. H. Nutt, of Messrs. McNab and Mason, with a very A CARD. precious card. It is signed

on tho back by Charles Dickens —the famous signature with the flourish, which he admitted he loved to make. The letterpress begins: "Strictly Private. Mr. G. A. Beckett, Dudley Costello, Mr. Chas. Dickens and Brothers, Mr. Evans, Mr. Forster, Douglas Jerrold, Mr. Leech, Mr. Leigh, Mr. Mark Lemon, Mr. Mayhcw, Mr. Stanfield, Mr. Frank Stono and Mr. T. J. Thompson request tho pleasure of Mr. F. Talfourd's company at an Amateur Performance at Miss Kelly's Theatre, 73, Dean Street, Soho, on Saturday evening, tho 20th September, at seven o'clock." On the card in writing is the intimation that the box to which Mr. Talfourd was invited was No. 15 in the second circle. Other intimations show tho caro which was taken to prevent what we call ""-ate-crashing" nowadays. It was not unknov even in Dickens' day. Mr. Jinglo got into tho military hop attired in Mr. Winkle's dress clothes, if you remember your "Pickwick." All tho names in the invitation card mentioned are of men of great eminence and they include that of John Forster, whoso incomparable life of Dickens is known tho world over.

A bitter breeze blew across our souls on this (Friday) morning at breakfast time, when broken-hearted radio announcers sobbed out the shocking news that THE BLOW. the All Blacks had beaten

the Midland Counties (a place in a country called England) by nine points to three. As tlio announcers necessarily repeated this news their voices broke as if they were rather ashamed. Breakfasters choked over their porridge and sobbed into the bacon. Everywhere the elongated countenances of our co-religionists became longer. On every line of transport, bringing heartbroken men to the work they do between matches, the travellers spoke in low whispers •and men of mature years blushed behind their hands. All of them—announcers, travellers, the great public—would have received with nonchalance the news that the 6cores were New Zealand 90, Those Other Fellows 3, but the fact that the Cream had merely come home six to the good was almost more than they could bear. It was clear as one listened to the conversation and saw a cloud of depression settle on the proletariat that some vicious god had interfered with the weather—had chucked mud about, had done something to the wind, had cruelled the .pitch. The general idea seems to bo that the boys haven't "settled down" yet. The suggestion that the sides were evenisli hurt all good New Zealanders. It couldn't be. You—wait—and—see. The games have begun—but the war isn't over yet.

The family came from a country town where the amenities appear to have been of a friendly nature. They settled down in a city suburb and were most THE BORROWER, neighbourly. The old resident was chopping a bit of kindling one day when the new neighbour who lived further down looked in and asked him to lend him the axe when he had done with it. He lent it. A week or so later— on a Saturday—the friendly newcomer brought the axe back, borrowed it again on Monday, and in his further axe borrowings returned the tool in time for the owner to chop his washing Monday wood. The axe owner, with a roving eye, noted the absence of the family wringer, as mother was screwing out some garments with her hands. She said that the wringer was at the moment in the hands of the new neighbours—and went on hand-wringing. The wringer owner mentioned the wringer to the wringer borrower, who replied by asking him if ho had a rake. Ho had, and in all neighbourly love brought it and handed it over. The newcomer received it, and as ho turned to go, said, "Oh, you'd better lend me your hedge shears"—and took both away for prolonged exercise. Apart from these household gadgets, the electric iron was the only other article the newcomer borrowed. The newcomer kept fowls—in the hedge. The old resident kept a fowlhouse, a yard—and a garden. The hedge fowls invaded the garden. The old resident was the teeniest bit peeved, because fowls are such very poor gardeners. He mentioned the irruption of the fowls to the newcomer. "You've got a fowlyard, haven't you?" asked the newcomer. "Yes." "Well, what about lending it to me to keep my fowls in?" That is as the matter stands at this identical moment. THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. Wise men learn from the experience of others; fools from their own.—Lord Sankcy. Be peaceable. Be cheerful. Be true.— Leigh Hunt. Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing.—Shakespeare. j