THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXV, Issue 239, 9 October 1934, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

Dear MA.T., —Apropos the white butterfly menace, the ingenuity displayed by gardeninir enthusiasts is almost beyond belief. Callintr on a man on Sunday THE LURE. last, I was amazed to find him surrounded by large sheets of brown paper on which was smeared copiously golden syrup—"Cocky's delight. A fair number of butterflies were attracted to this novel arrangement, and we decided to go for a walk,and leave them to snare themselves. On our return one single butterfly was found ensnared, the rest having broken loose and in their place were millions and millions of black ants.—Arthur. An efficiency expert who is in our midst cheerfully telling us what to do about it, in the presence of business men released the story of the hidebound EFFICIENCY, storekeeper. Four little lads entered the store. "And what can I do for you, my boy?" asked the tradesman of the first. "Three pennyworth of blackballs, please." His invariable habit was to park the blackballs on the highest shelf. So, fat and scant of breath, he climbed the dizzy height, wore out four pennyworth of breath for a profit of threehalfpence, descendedand handed over. Then he climbed back with the jar, came down and attended to No. 2 — same order, same climb, same descent. Precisely the same routine for No. 3* There remained the fourth lad. Still the perfect gentleman, the storekeeper gasped, "And what for you, my lad?',' "A pennyworth of blackballs, please, mister." A Hitlerism has been promulgated demanding that German musicians shall wear their own names, it oeing the habit in Ger- -<- many, as it has been for THE FOREIGN many generations in TOUCH. Britain, for the public to regard the professional foreigner with more awe than the home-made product. In Britain and the colonies artistic Britons in order to succeed assumed "Herr" as to the manner born. Even Irishmen had the habit. Who does not remember the athletic Carroll of Auckland, who added an "o" (at the wrong end), and was known as "Professor Carollo"? The foreign touch as an a,id to business was never, to be excused, and Hitler is right for once. Miss Smith-Jones, the eminent dressmaker, much preferred to be called "Mademoiselle," and added on her chaste brass plate "Modes et Robes." Excellent musicians born in Yorkshire learned to talk in gutturals and were as often "Signor" as "Herr." The British show world used to be practically free of British names. You remember the '"Punch" picture of Signorella La Vance, swinging from the roof of a circus tent with Monsieur des Petit Pois, holding her fair hand? The signorella is speaking: " 'Arry," she says, "jest remind mo to get some kippers for our supper as we goes 'ome, will yer?" People engaged in the elimination of alcohol from the human menu, might spare a little time for a campaign among the lower animals. It has again THE POISONED been noted that horses CUP. sometimes exhibit marks

of inebriety, traceable to the native plant rangiora. Mentioned that blood-letting and violent exercise is the cure for this type of intoxication. Hone is still partial to putting eighteen stone of Maori on fourteen hands of Maori weed to prevent his charger becoming inebriated. If rangiora intoxication becomes common among the lower animals, it may become common for intending riders to administer the police proof of insobriety by smelling the suspected one's breath. It has been mentioned times out of mind that racehorses have been trained on stout, drayhorses fed on brewer's grains, elephants given a bucket of ale at every hostelry, and other animals have indulged in the dreadful drug Nature is perpetually brewing. Australians will remember perhaps the Darling pea, a favourite food among horses who wish to achieve a temporary sensation. The effect of a good feed of this weed is interesting. If the rider notes that his horse has an uncontrollable desire to climb trees, it is certain he has been drinking—that is to say, he has been eating Darling pea. There is a wide field for the earnest teetotaller in the animal world. Let us succour our dumb friends. Perhaps you are unaware that by the expenditure of the small sum of sixpence you may purchase No. 75 —a supplement to the "New Zealand Gazette," SH-H-H! dated October 4, 1934, ancl published by authority, declaring the appointment of a deputy of the Governor-General. The appointment is of the utmost simplicity, but actually the expense of words, done in an appropriately medieval style, is terrifying in its solemnity. You couldn't possibly be simple in a Government document—it isn't done. Here is a slight extract from this document that will never be included in any "Letter Writing Simplified": "Now, therefore, know ye that, for the purposes aforesaid, and in pursuance and exercise of the power and authority vested in me by the hereinbcfore-in-part-recited Letters Patent, and of every other power and authority enabling mo in that behalf, I, Charles, Baron Bledisloe, as such Governor-General as aforesaid, do, by these presents issued under the Public Seal of the Dominion of New Zealand, constitute and appoint the Right Honourable Sir Michael Myers, K.C.M.G., Chief Justice of the said Dominion, to bo my Deputy during the period of my temporary absence as aforesaid—that is to say, from the date of my departure from the seat of Government or from the Dominion until the date of my return there." The student, having read even this slight extract, feels almost convinced that Sir Michael Myers, Chief Justice, is appointed Deputy-Governor-General. If he reads the whole sixpennyworth he will be absolutely certain. Dear M.A.T., —A cricketer has come forward to defend the statement that some bowlers are able to make the ball swerve in the air, before it touches THE SWERVE, the ground. Though never able to master the art myself, I have had my wicket shattered not a few -times by a ball that had a distinct bend from the off ; when I say distinct, that is the wicket-keeper's opinion. I unfortunately played to a (straight ball. Are these swerving balls, then, full pitches? If they are, the interesting question arises as to what an umpire would say to anybody who habitually received them on his pads. The leg-before rule makes no allowance for swerves; doesn't acknowledge, in fact, that such things exist. One might raise the question now that the beginning of another cricket season is at hand as°to when the swerve theory began to come into fashion. Bowlers "broke" a ball either to off or on, that is to say, they jave it a certain twist when it left their fingers, but that twist had no effect upon the direction of the flight till the ball touched the ground. Then'it turned to right or left, according to the nature of the twist, and the leg-before rulewas specially drafted to protect the batsman who, to deal with bowling of this kind, put his pads before the wicket. lam sorry I can't go into the question of the baseball pitchers, who are supposed to make the ball swerve in the air. I don't know enough about baseball ,and might say something silly.—Safdar Jang.