RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LXV, Issue 147, 23 June 1934, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

(By ZAMIEL.)

Headline, "Lorry Hits Pole." Thank goodness, his name wasn't Paderewski. Have you ever noticed that generally speaking a politicianis generally speaking? Listening-nii is now prescribed for the toothache. Certainly much of the programme is rather filling. Attention has been called to the slums of Auckland. Might I with my fellow landlords gently ask "Which slums?" Headlines, "Drought in England. Measures in London." Presumably they're substituting "handles" for Imperial pints. There is a cotton war between Japan and Lancashire, but it is hoped that Gandhi, a British subject, will wear Lancashire suits. It has been noted that listeners-in who have picked up Byrd's messages from the snows have been unable to hear the studio applause. I note that Camera received £83,400 for getting a hiding from Max Baer. May one suggest that this system of payment be introduced into politics? An American golfer lias put up another record by carrying a bag of clubs 800 miles. It is presumed that for the last hundred miles shot he used the iron. Hot soup is being served gratis and locally to those who need it. Hence those vocal moments one loves 60 much are not the sole prerogative of the wealthy. In Court recently a woman told the magistrate that her husband had never knocked off growling for 13 years. I understand he is to be made an honorary farmer. Paris is producing sheer silk stockings with little reptiles worked on them. The haute moude therefor© is again playing the old game of snakes and ladders.

A sarcastic fellow scribe in U.S.A. declares that Hollywood has a sensation in view if it can find a great figure in British history who does not look like George Arliss.

A woman burglar recently made> an excellent liaul in a London home, although it was electrically wired to keep interlopers out. You can't shock a modern miss.

Note from an Indian source: "In the State of Cutch the Japanese put £12 motor car 9on the market. They moved over the ground for some distance at a brisk walking pace."

Also from India: A British civil servant was recently swindled. A native dealer sold him a pair of Japanese tennis shoes for tenpenco. The proper, price was ninepence.

A fortnight exhibition match is being held in Sydney between Lindrum and McConachy. Intending spectators are divided between ordinary wire mattresses or proper sleeping bags while watching the breaks.

An actuary has declared that a man of 21 years lias an expectancy of life of 48 years. I fancy it rather depends on Hitler, Mussolini and other more or less peaceful gents, including some eastern war lords.

A gruesome discovery has been made in Cliristchurch. No less than a cellar beneath the railway station where onco upon a time passengers could buy—and drink—beer. A dreadful relic of a frightful past when we were so brutally British.

Apropos the present epidemic of colds, a lung specialist declares that if one sings at the top of one's voice one hour per day ho will not be troubled with chest complaints fn his old age. If he dares to do it in our street he won't have any old ago. ALPHABETICAL. Bachelors A-re C-haps H-aving E-nough L-uck O-r brains to ' R-emain S-ingle.