ANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LXIV, Issue 88, 15 April 1933, Page 2 (Supplement)

ANDOM SHOTS

A strange thing about racehorses is that they invariably move forward when backed. I

A new dance is to be known as "technocracy." It will be just a set of staggering figures.

When the wets really know what a hero Roosevelt is they'll probably teax him to pieces with gratitude.

A party of British school boys are off to Argentina presumably to see the roast beef of old England on the hoof.

A German doctor announces that baldness in men is a sign of immense vitality. Those great open spaces!

Apropos those trials in Russia, it seems that anybody can rule a country, but that it takes mechanics to save it.

The doctor who declares that microbes fight shy of soap and water need not be so personal. My small nephew is no microbe.

A medical gentleman has lately caught with hook and line a fish weighing 725 pounds. Some bedside manner, that doctor!

A Norfolk man aged 106 declares that he prefers pickled lobster above all other food. He's bound to suffer for it in the long run.

"What we need," shouted the man in the bus, "is a Dictator!" No, of course, he didn't include himself in the embracing title "We."

Mr. Henry Ford declares that these are not really bad times, but good ones. I suppose a couple of hundred million dollars do make a difference.

A philanthropist declares that the worst thing that can happen to a man is to be left a large sum of money. I am prepared to face the worst.

The Five-Year Plan seems to be working admirably in Russia. -The "Pravda" says there are more centenarians in Russia than in any country on earth.

Paris is at present suffering from the depredations of handsome, well dressed and attractive girls who stick up pedestrians aifd rob them. Stunning girls!

A high literary authority again disseminates the belief that the first man to carry an umbrella was Mr. Jonas Hanway. But the h.La. doesn't Bay whose umbrella.

B.C.H. writes: An American "talkie" expert avers that in New Zealand we have some natural "crooning" tenors. We also have, of course, blackberry and ragwort.

Incident in local school. Teacher (to boy): "Why have you been absent for the past week?" "I've been suffering from ah attack of pleomorphic streptococcus, miss." "Pleo what?" "'Flu, miss."

A returned visitor to Britain and Germany compares British and German women greatly to the disadvantage of the former. The Germans even dress better and he listened to the vrouw vrouw of their skirts.

A scientist recently returned from an Asiatic trip declares he has discovered a green worm with red stripes. There would seem to be a laugh in this somewhere if it were pot known that there are no licensed houses in the jungle.

Recent ,trans-Atlantic headline: "Hinderburg has only one request to make of Hitler." A Chicago paper says it knows what the request is. "Mein Gott in Himmel, shave it from the face off your ffonny moustache alretty."

Those who affect to believe that women are incapable of the profounder problems, will be convinced of their mistake when they learn that a British countess recently won the first prize for eating porridge with knitting needles at a Mayfair party.

One of the novelties of politics in Washington is that members of Parliament may obtain aspirin tablets free when they have a headache. Shame that the citizens of the. world who have a perpetual headache listening to their senates have to buy their own headaclio wafers.

This conquering hero business is not what it is cracked up to be. When Smithy got back to Australia the crowd dragged him through a barbed wire fence, tearing his legs with joy. When Larwood got back to his own friends they handled him so lovingly that he had to be rescued by the police.