THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIV, Issue 87, 13 April 1933, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

' The mosquito and his brethren has in liis time knocked out—finally—tens of millions of mankind. Man, knowing this, is to be commended for trying, his THE K.O. level darndest to knock out the mosquito. He is doing ib slightly in Auckland at the present moment with kerosene, rolled newspapers, the nittepenny swatter—and the human palm, in the matter of the hand one knows a man He had gone to bed. A little later the satamc music of a skeeter pierced the silence. Singing its little song it settled down on the face ot the sleeper. He slapped his face; the skeeter scooted into safety The determined man rose, switched 011 the light, and searched the room. A mosquito landed 011 his temple and dug his machinery in. The man slapped his temple hard —and knocked himself out. When he came to the skeeter was still singing las blood song.

Our American cousins, it seems, are relatively as town pumpish as ourselves. There is the same unbro.therly rivalry between United States cities as TKCE CITY OF there is between Auckland HA! HA! and Wellington. M?. Rocke O'Shea, registrar ot the Auckland University College, was wanderiri"- in Samland lately and found himself at Minneapolis, a great flour-milling centre with about two hundred thousand folk —both sides of the Mississippi and. only six miles to St. Paul, a city. which insists on existing practically within a stone cast At the time Mr. O'Shea was in the "City of the Waters" there was a local movement to link up the two towns and to run the compound as one municipality. The movement was be<mn in Minneapolis, and it was here that the heads thought out name® applicable to the combined urban area. It was a happy and poetic thought, that the combine might be called Minnehaha, a beautiful word—and it was a haughty Minneapolitan who said that the denizens of these cities would each probably still Cling to a local name/ So he suggested that the larger city should be called "Minne" and St. Paul "Ha! Ha!"

It is cabled from London that the latest White Paper about Russia and the British Vickers people being tried in Russia has created a grave impresA "CROOK SPIN." sion, the menaces to- the British employees "alternating with promises of lucrative employment in return ' for satisfactory answers." _ There seems to be no doubt whatever that in some parts of the world the palms of experts may be tickled with coin—if the expert is willing. Indeed, a retired mining engineer (who remembers every celebrated moneyed person in South Africa, including the great Cecil Rhodes and Dr. Jim) mentioned a trifling matter to M.A.T.' quite recently. He was asked by a celebrated corporation to cast an expert eye over a few thousand morgen of lan<l known to contain spots of gold. It was pointed out to him that it was not at all necessary for Mm to bother himself with surveys, assays, prospects and all "that sort of nonsense —because the report had already been written. All that the engineer ne'ed do to pick up a fee of five thousand pounds and a swag of shares in the company was to sign the report! He did not. The engineer, who worked for many years for the greatest financial family in tlie Empire (and elsewhere), mentioned that that family had not in its centuries of experience put over a crook deal. Still, as he pointed out there were others.

By an overwhelming majority. West Australia people want to secede from the Commonwealth. One remembers the exceedingly enthusiastic inauguSECESSION. ration of the Commonwealth, mainly because there was an unprecedented crowd in Sydney, the first Governor-General was landing—and the horse of a police inspector bolted, killing the officer. What was notable in the celebrations was that the lads from West Australia were as keen on Federation as the people of any of the States, and apparently all hands foresaw a long period of delirious federal, happiness in a Commonwealth with twelve Houses of Parliament, exclusive of the Federal Houses. At the same time, little New Zealand, snugly ensconsed on its pip of scoria, was invited to lose her identity and to join the Federation, but New Zealand, which has since quite definitely stated that she doesn't like the woA "Australasia," is still not governed either from Melbourne or from Canberra. It isn't a bit likely that the great wide State of West Australia will be allowed to secede, but undoubtedly tie seed is sown, and the future is alight with possibilities. When Australian States secede from the Commonwealth there seems no reason to doubt that the South Island of our own beloved land may desire secession' from Wellington. There are old stalwarts who still persist that the ancient method of Provincial Parliaments was the better form of Government. The reason is obvious. When a country is split up there are more cushy jobs for a larger number of politicians who would otherwise have to keep on walking in the rear of the harrows.

It is of some interest to the world that Captain Goering has been appointed by Corporal Hitler (Chancellor of Germany) as Premier of Prussia. CajiHYMN OF HATE, tain Goering's recent speeches indicate that the Prussian method is applicable to Prussians themselves as well as to all those who are not Hitlerians, particularly if they be Jews. The rattle of the sabre, the shaking of the iron mitt, and the wearing of steel helmet, may remind many people of a celebrated picture appearing in "Punch" during the Great War. It is called "A Prussian Family Having Its Morning Hate." Here the indomitable Fritz, father of the assembled family, is sitting at the breakfast table indulging in an expression of unassuaged ferocity, The Vrouw, billowing in her own armchair, has her hands folded across her breakfast, an extremely severe expression on her most Teutonic countenance. The fraulein, with lier teeth gritted and her clenched hands appealing to heaven, is hating the enemy with the greatest violence, while the small Fritz of the family in higliheeled shoes and barred socks is exceedingly peeved. Even the yard of dachshund is seen hating the British with doglike fervour. The point of the picture was that at the moment the great Fritz family was (very naturally) hating the enemy. The point about the present situation is that Fritz is hating the family. Apropos dachshunds—dog docs not eat dog.

THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. I do the best I know—the very best I can, and I mean to keep right on until the end.— Abraham Lincoln. The brave man carves out his fortune, and every man is the son of his own works. —Cervantes. A man is rich in proportion to the number of things ho can afford to leave alone.— Thoreau. Work is devout, and service is divine. Who stoops to scrub a floor , May worship more Than he who kneels before a holy shrine, i —R. C. Macfie.