RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LXIV, Issue 41, 18 February 1933, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

by zamile

Headline "Pat Butter Trade." Is Mr do Valera coming round '1 No Horace! the Maori name for Lak< Takapuna, is not Pooh! Puke Pirau. An albino sparrow has been eeen af Mangaiti'. He's not the only bird to show the white feather. Headline. "Shooting , Stars." But you can't do that sort of thing with impunity even in Hollywood. The world is suffering from a plethora of doctors and many people are now eating an apple only every other day, Mr. William C. Bullitt, of the United States, is visiting foreign capitals looking into the war debt position. Every Bullitt has its billet. Many private hoiiees are nowadays equipped with artificial sunlight apparatus, so that singeing in one'e bath is now commoner than ever. Recently a. letter was published showing that New Zealand farmers "are curing their own hides." Now I learn that a bookmaker has been skinned. A golf course in Alabama (U.S.A.) was recently washed away by a flood. Naturalists and other scientists are hastening to the spot, hoping to find tha missing link. An Australian doctor prophesies that in the far future the human being will be toothless. Logically, if teeth disappear, the jaw that holds them muet go too. Hence Parliaments are doomed. Pointed out in regard to the "conversion" of laotor cars, in Auckland that "stripping is not uncommon." The thieves have possibly been brought up on dairy farms—the cowe! I cordidally agree with the gentleman of the soapbox who lately told us that there should, bo a more equalised distribution of wealth and. shall be proud to receive his cheque. Another American item is to the effect that "America, can't keep prosperity in place with tax." Perhaps its pointed, ironmongery is not of such good quality as the Wellington brand. The solemn question has been raised in London: "Should a gentleman raise his hat to a policewoman?" I should say certainly, especially if she is setting her cap at the gentleman. It is cabled that United States opinion regarding trade concessions for war debt relief is "crystallising." You will find that to crystallise- them Uncle Sam will want his "sugar." Although I am, of course, interested in the news that "a New Zealand, trader is going East," I should be far more interested in any declaration that New Zealand trade was not "going west."

An American pa pur lays, that the coopers of the United States foresee twenty million dollars in beer when it comes. In fact the advantage will be double-barrelled to both brewers and coopers. When (and if) ale returns to the United States, it is to contain 3.2 per cent alcohol. It is calculated that it will only take 3.2 gallons oE this interesting decoction to achieve an ordinary headache. A Xcw Zealand publication, in an article on poets' words of beauty, thus quotes Keats: "Charni'd niagiu casements opening on the foam of perilous seas 'in fiery lands forlorn." Mr. Keats would have been so pleased! A Wellington newspaper correspondent gays that Australia (financially speaking) has "passed through the fire and come out with /lying colours." That Australian banner must have been made of asbestos. A Southland man has just received a fiver from Scotland sent by a man who borrowed it 40 years ago. No! Only just right ye ken A fiver at three per cent compound, interest over 40 years makes —oh, work it oot for yersel! The Government has made a result* less effort to trace a man who is entitled to a sum of about £400. Xot being able to find him the. Government holds the money. Rather a fuss, don't you think, to make about money the Government would be bound to get sooner or later? In reply to a complaint that suburbanites are not only "rowing , their own tobacco, but arc actually rolling cigars of it, Zamiel is able to assure complainants that the accusation is perfectly true. All the rollers, however, indignantly deny smoking these home-made cigars.

COME, DRINK WITH ME

Wlion the tliro.it is parched nnrt cracking, When the skin is dry anil liot, When the tongue is Mack and swollen, How I'd love a sparkling spot! Dreaming desert dreams of lakelets, Bubbling brooklets—how I long For a pint pot to dip deeply In a sighing billabong. Dream of rills and runnels, laughing On their journeys to the sea, Mirrors of the ningie mirage, Of great rivers, flowing free ; Faucets furiously running, Taps full bore aud creeks a-croon, And the dreamer prays that Pluvius May not wake him up too soon. Dream of damp that drips for ages, Making lovely stalactites, Visions of the snow-storm raging, Gorgeous drinks all trimmed in white; Cataracts α-tumbling downward. Waterspout , ! that wash the sky, Oil, to hear the rain α-falling When you are so precious dry! Dreams of fragrant flowerets lolling By the brink of some sweet pond, Of the lagoon with the lilies So beloved a tout le monilc; Springs a'chuckle in the sunlight, Lakes a-laughing at the moon, Limpid, luscious, fair dream waters, Oh, to taste them pretty soon! Reservoirs and dams a-banl;er, Spruits and sluits, and deep, deep wells, ■ Buckets, waterbags. and beakers: How the heart with rapture swells At the thoughts, the dreams of dampness, Demijohns with aqua filled, Barrels, tanks, tubs, baths and saucepans, Dream of ecstasy fulfilled! Dream of trickles, spots, and splashes, Dream of drips of dew distilled, Dream of channels, dykes, and ditches, Every one with water tilled ; Dream of pipes, of flumes and hydrants. Of artesian bores. Accursed Is tbe dreamer who, on waking, Still cannot assuage his thirst. Still the parching epiglottis, Turbiil trachea, swollen tongue, Throat as dry sis bricks or sawdust, Molstureless (lie shrivelled lung; Giisping, groiining, spout, dry, thirsty, Shall I to fix: water go. Shall 1 drink from Luke l'upuke? l'ooli! UooU Gracious! Dear me, NO! | ■ —C.J.