RADOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LXIII, Issue 239, 8 October 1932, Page 2 (Supplement)

RADOM SHOTS

MmWZ

Headline: "Te Aroha Springs." Something must have startled it.

French taxes have been so heavy that many people who can't afford to drink wine drink milk. It's a fair cow.

I challenge the accuracy of the statement that the country faces a deficit of £1,000,000. I make it £999,999 19/9.

Airmen are searching for oil in New South Wales. Hitherto I understood that bananas grew only in Queensland.

Demonstrated that radio reception is better under the ground than on the surface. Oh, death, there is thy sting!

Eighteen thousand houses in Melbourne terraces have been condemned as unfit for habitation. Marvellous Smelbourne.

Now, what is the matter with arranging for the girls* straw hat to come back as well? They used to blow off, too.

A large confectionery manufacturing concern notes a 30 per cent drop in the consumption of lollies. "Sweets are the uses of adversity" can't be true.

It is scientifically demonstrated that when one closes one's eyes one's hearing is most acute. We have all at some time or other listened acutely to sermons.

Bernard Shaw declares that in the course of the centuries children will talk as soon as they are born. Thank Providence I live in these good old times.

There have been 500 applicants for the positions of three judges for the U.SA. inter-State "baby show. Two war heroes and an ex-heavyweight pugilist have been selected.

Reading the news that Uncle Sam is, absolutely adamant about his debtors settling their war debts, I arrive at the conclusion that the dove of peace does more billing than cooing.

Some of the greatest financiers and economists are making speeches and writing articles to teach the people what money really is. I am willing to be taught if they will send some samples.

I have the authority of a commercial scientist for saying that we are suffering from occupational obsolescence complicated by technological surplusage. In short, plenty of machines and no brains.

It seems proved, after a perusal of the report of the British National Society of Non-Smokers, that these earnest people feel that by refraining from smoking here they may escape smoking hereafter.

The writer who, declares that a man should be forced to wear clothes that indicate that he is married is singularly lacking in perception. Surely a last year's suit is sufficient indication to any observer.

Question in Court: "What sort of a party?" Answer: "Oh, just a few gallons of beer and a sing-song." How basically this simple phrase expresses the whole social art from a statesman's banquet at Ottawa to a bushman's jollification in Otorohanga.

From Wellington newspaper par about a remarkable Manawatu bull: "... The bull was adjudged tbe grand champion of the show which was held prior to the sale. This bull wris a double granddaughter of the world-famous Blonde's .Golden Oxford." It is understood that tho National Expenditure Commission has had this animal under review, ■ and is recommending that, in the interests of economy, no one bull shall be I permitted to bo more than a single granddaughter unices he can prove that he is twins.