THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Issue 17, 21 January 1932, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

Coincident with the maritime bother in Adelaide is a eliade temperature of 107 degrees. It makes one reflect that most Australians ; become peevish in the IT'S THE hot weather, and one CLIMATE. wonders whether a breeze ' from the south would 1 soothe strikers' angry feelings. The immensely 1 serious maritime strike of 1890 broke out > when the shade temperature was between 115 and 120. So hot was it that none of the shops were opened. "Brickfielders" blew and there were heaps of drifting sand blown from afar under every door. The armed mounted police, carrying swords and revolvers, panted about in their shirt sleeves, horses wore hats, and every woman wore a veil falling below tiie waist. That was a year during which there was no hatless brigade. The waterside workers were thoroughly peevish, the police were crabby, the public was annoyed, and politicans were angry. Looking back to a thoroughly rotten time, one feels convinced that the weather was to blame. Very likely the weather has something to do with the latest. A cat in a motor car, a sparrow flying about in the Town Hall or a dog strolling into a church at sermon time will cause more interest among the people KEEP OUT! than a thousand sparrows, ten cats or twenty dogs moving around in their several spheres. Many birds have been in the habit of invading the women's ward of the Auckland Infirmary, and there has not up to now been any old lady who would say them nay. The holland blinds in this ward were seven years old, tattered and faded, and it has been necessary to replace them with new ones. It is discovered that although there has been fanwear and tear some of the damage to those seven-year-old blinds has been caused by the birds which call to see the patients, who, of course, are much interested in them. It is pointed out that none of the patients is in a iit condition to leap deftly round the ward with a broom chasing the feathered ones out, and so to keep'them from visiting half-inch gauge wirenetting is to be put over the fanlights. Do ye mind the wee story told herein of the holiday bach and the big fellow's midnight adventure, when his bed collapsed and a rescue party went to his aid? THE BURGLAR. Well, there is a sequel, and it is about Sandy and the burglar. The bach party had played bridge, accompanied by refreshment and subsequent bread and cheese. Please note the cheese particularly. Sandy went to bed and slept like a tree, with no thought of anyone coming along and burgling his temporary abode, although there was half a hundred on the premises. In the night, however, he awoke and heard sounds. The thought of burglars at once occurred to him. In another sphere he used to wear revolvers, and his first thought was to get both of them and to hunt this wicked interloper, and, if necessary, slay him. And as he dodged about the' cottage he saw as plain as a pikestaff the wicked interloper coming softly up the steps. He would give the villain one chance, however, and so he tried to call out. And at that moment Mrs. Sandy shook him violently by the arm and cried, "Sandy! Sandy! What's the matter wi' ye? Wake u])!" And Sandy woke. No revolvers, no burglar. That'll tell ye what a bit of cheese may do for a man. The passion for ten per cent "cuts" and other diminutions lias strayed into the Health Department. In the matter of scarlet fever the Department advises MORE SPOTS. that the period of isolation for a patient should be in future reduced from six to four weeks. Prior to the linn handling of epidemic complaints, it was generally believed that as these things were .inevitable the more the cases the sooner the whole thing would be over. For instance, loving mothers who were firm in their conviction that everybody had to get measles some time or other permitted the first measly one. of a family to mix with his brothers and sisters and even occupy the same lied so that everybody could have the complaint at the same time and thus save trouble and doctors' bills. It is of some interest that innoculation against disease is centuries okl and that "vaccination" for smallpox was invented by the Arabs. It couldn't have been called vaccination, because there were no cows to it, but the principle was the same. When smallpox broke out among the Arabs the man with the, most pustules was the most valuable to his relatives. He would be hired out to families who had not acquired smallpox for a consideration, as contact with an advanced pustular case'was supposed to ensure a mild attack in contact and money for the hirer of the sick relative. Sometimes a shiek would make a present of smallpox to a friend. In the matter of scarlet fever and measles local mothers rarely Lire their little patients out to the neighbours to ensure a thoroughly comprehensive communal epidemic. In a facetious moment the other day M.A.T. mentioned the national passion for wearing glittering garb compounded of many military uniforms and HARD TO SMILE, many ranks, mentioning particularly spectacular bands. The paragraph did not say who were "entitled" to wear traditional uniform, because anybody who is not can wear glittering pseudo military garb providing it docs not carefully copy the uniform of any of His Majesty's forces and bring the same "into contempt." "F.G.P.S." writes to point out that the Legion of Frontiersmen is entitled by Royal Warrant to wear traditional uniform, a fact, of course, no one has ever doubted, the point being that no trooper of the Frontiersmen would think of wearing an officer's staff cap, a frogged frock, trousers copied from the French Army or a field-marshal's belt. The Frontiersman asks M.A.T. to "amend his statement." There is nothing to amend. One almost hoped that old soldiers and young civvies and sailors might have chortled slightly and let it go at that. Ihe matter isn't really serious. As for the Frontiersmen, everybody ought to know that this excellent body of volunteers was formed from the remnant of Driscoll's Scouts after the South African War, that the larger part of them are men with active service records and keep up their efficiency. The point as to whether the Frontiersmen, the Grenadier Guards, the Royal Navy or the Territorials of Empire were "entitled" to wear their uniforms never entered into the smile. By the way, the Frontiersman mentions that spats- were first worn by civilians as a compliment to the splendid Highland regiments who took part in the Indian Mutiny. Not a sinale private of the Jocks ever wore a cheese-cutter with laurel leaves round the peak, Austrian knots on the tunic sleeves or shamrocks woven in lus kilt. Smile, Frontiersman, smile! THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. Where enmities are of long standing, and of a serious nature, it is difficult to effect a real reconciliation; for it is prevented either by suspicion, or by the desire of vengeance.— Guicciardini. ° ri- \ to treat living creatures like shoes or household belongings, which, when worn with use, we throw away.— l 3 lutareh. T • , . . surely for his manners, xv"' I '. ® e . 11 a Profane and dissolute wretch; orse by possession of such great good gifts, lug the master of so loose a spirit. —Jonson.