THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXII, Issue 285, 2 December 1931, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

Dear M.A.T.,—Two small acquaintances were telling me about their respective relations, each one, of course, trying to outdo the other. Both were four years old, FOLIAGE. and the pair gave very amusing—though not flattering—details of their relatives. Sylvie asked me if I knew her Uncle Tom, who had feathers on his face. Whereupon . Betty, going one better, said: "Not feathers,, silly! They're whistics." Even so Sylvie had the last word: "Not whistics, either," she responded. "They're a stush." —E.A.H. <-■ t ■■■ ■

The spirit.of optimism has. irradiated the oratory of some candidates during interesting preliminaries, the results of which will be .._'•• known for weal or woe THE OCTAGON.- to-night. There was, for instance, the consideredstatement of the gentleman who radiantly declared that we had "turned the corner;" -A gentleman, hardly perhaps so optimistic and who might even have come from Dunedin, remarked that we had turned the corner all right, but the corners were either octagonal or° hexagonal and he personally found that as soon as one corner was turned the next angle cropped up.

Men pleasurably affected "by the drop in the price of suits will be glad.to hear that the King has told young officers in the Army they needn't come to inGLAD RAGS. vestitures and what not dolled up full fig.; friend who has often been dressed up to the nines mentions what the young (and often poor). pipster in the service has had to put up with to be considered respectable at a great function. A mere second-lieutenant in a line regiment paid eighteen guineas for a - tunic and six for a helmet. If the Sandhurst lad went into the Royal Horse Artillery the tailor set him. back forty guineas for his jacket, and the wondrous busby that looks so nice •in pictures cost him. another forty, a good deal more than was paid for any hat to-day to throw into the air, crying, "Vote for Boggs!" The cavalry man's tunic was cheap at thirty guineas. By the way, a certain successful young New Zealander was present at a great function in England where silk breeches and State swords were indicated. He wrote to a friend gratefully acknowledging that the pante had been done cheaply by a celebrated tailor for a measly fifteen guineas. Those illustrious pants have long-since.arrived in New Zealand and are, as a matter of fact, likely to become a family "heirloom.

It is cabled that Prince Arthur of Connaught spoke of the humility of. an African chief who greeted the gay hussar with: "I am but as the lice ou the THE GREYS, white man's blanket," in-

dicating perhaps" not only the dark man's humility but the chief's knowledge of war conditions what time- the soldier Prince was • bucketing about on horseback. in that vast but pediculous continent. The mention by Royalty of these "bosom friends" will recall to many, an old soldier stories of "Scots Greys," a subject bound to amuse. Old swads may remember General "Curly" Hutton, the bright officer who was really the inventor of the Mounted Rifles arm. The scene is'the open veldt. * A tattered colonial regiment. unclothed in rags and mounted on equine having come off a Jong, dirty trek, were paraded for Curly's inspection. He was mostly concerned in finding some comfort for these miserable specimens, and he rode along the line barking out questions and amiable'curses, as.was his wont". "That man!" he would throwing an accusing finger at a horseman. "You got a shirt ?" "No, sir.'.' "No more have I!" "That man! You got two pairs'of pants?" "No, sir." "Damned if I have, either!" "That man! You lousy?" "Yes, sir." "So'am I! So is Lord-Roberts! So i 9 the-whole • flamiir' army!" And it is presumed that Prince Arthur of Connaught knew whereof he spoke by per-: sonal experience. • ■■ .-

Local summer weather naturally .suggests glaciers, alpine climbing and allied' sports'and gives piquancy to a note from the South say--1 ing that people have been CLIMBING. : climbing the Fox Glacier on horseback... Not mules or donkeys, but horses. As horses do not use ice axes and presumably are not . furnished with snow'shoes, the feat is notable, especially in a country where there is a feeling that all the risks should bo taken out of climbing, risks that were heretofore the chief attraction in climbing. One has heard that the> Jungfrau i may now be attained by haughty tourists in motor cars who emulate those sports people who climb to the very top of Kangitpto in a car. There seems to be no cogent reason why some enterprising firm should not furnish climbers of Mont Blanc and our own difficult snow-clad heights with electric lifts complete with boy aiid refreshing stimulants.. Avoiding ( strain is one of the chief modern, needs. Mark 'Twain's method of sitting in a Swiss hotel smoking two cigars at a time while his deputy in hobnail boots and with an ice axe climbed "for him, has much to recommend ■ it. Personally, one has planned a tour amongst the gigantic trees of Waipoua Forest. The strain, however, of .gazing skyward at the tops of the kauris, is so great and the danger to one's neck so imminent that one has decided to do it by photography. . One could sit down, in anice armchair with a cigarette and a bunch of forest photographs and in thought'soar to the topmost branches without a single crick in the neck. Or one could even be driven into the forest in a car, and, sitting amongst the upholstery, observe the arboreal heights per periscope. <• "' .

Very justly we who go to . a political meeting to become entranced by the magic of the candidate's exquisite art hate to listen to the vociferations of VOTE FOR those whose object' is to BLOGGS. prevent him from exhibiting his genius. The relative respectability of elections and' their preliminaries arc in pleasing contrasts to the amenities of days. gone by, prior, one would say, to the passing of the Ballot Act of 1872. Before that the elections were on the open hustings and the candidates received the votes of their supporters {here and then. Corruption and intimidation were considered part of' the show and the candidate who. subsidised the most hotels apparently got the better vote. Bribery was part of the game. Organised opposition was considered quite the thing. Stones, eggs and mud splashed round the hustings and those who were the most voteless threw the most missiles. The people looked upon an election as a joyous occasion for free lights. At a certain famous .Westminster election the Duchess of Devonshire offered.a kiss to every man Avho polled a vote for Charles James Fox. She was a very lovely woman. Very likely you've got her picture in that amazing hat? Incredible quantities of beer flowed. Woe to the candidate whose beer was weaker than that of his opponent. One account of an election says that all the voters were so inebriated that none of them reached the polling booths. Dickens (but this'is fiction perhaps) mentions that the opposition pubs in. the Eatanswill election "hocussed the brandy," the voters being locked up in a stable during the election, the rival obtaining a glorious victory-and a seat in Parliament. Of course it is to be remembered that in the eighteenth century in many constituencies there, would be perhaps only one hundred persons entitled to vote, so it was easy enough to "get at" those. The methods of elections have been tightened up since then. We, thank Providence, are Pure. ....