THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXII, Issue 223, 21 September 1931, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

TISHOO! There's a nasty complaint, it's the "flu," It starts its foul life in a queue, Some poor fellow sickens, It spreads like tlie dickens. And the nest thing it's looking for you. It's a strange thing when "flu" is about How we snigger and pooli-pooh and doubt. One says, "It ain t much, T'other, "Huh ! just a touch-— „ Keep 011 going, it's bound to clear out. One frequently has to endure j ' The man who submits granny s cure. He tells the old tale That it simply can t fail, And your sound health 'tis bound to ensure. But they take back whatever they s >ud When they lincl themselves tucked up in bed. Granny's cure is forgotten, And they're feeling so rotten That some of them wish they werejl^-^ Speaking of the roll of the "r's," a friend reminds one of the Glaswegian professor at the Otaero University who was addicted to the habit himself, for he THREE R'S. cam', ye ken, frae a place where' "r's" dae most, abound. Another Dunedinite from Scotland was critical of the professor. "Man,' said ie, "Professor McP. is a vcrrra guid scholarrr, bit it's a peetv he disna speak lish; lie says ~'worrr urns' for 'wurrrums.

Dear M.A.T., —For some time past the sitting room carpet has been the venue of some fierce after-tea wrestling bouts, lather, who is an enthusiastic A NEW HOLD, wrestling fan, has been imparting some -of his knowledge to the pride of the family, aged four. The boy enters into the fray very enthusiastically, and occasionally gets a fail out of father with some hold or other, Ihe other night he brought off a surprise by grabbing dad's wrist nd giving it a sharp turn. He°said, "Now I got a Goldic-loeks on you, dad. I win." If you should, happen to print this I hope you will put it in some corner where the professionals don't look, because when Four-years becomes the professional penny-weight champion of Mount Albert his new hold may take Auckland by storm. Father.

"A.F.": The other episode similar to the one you related of Kitchener shoving' the mule into'the truck (which my experience of mules makes me doubt) liap"THE BEAR." pened on board Transport No. 20 in Alexandria in 1882. A cavalry general,' Sir Drury Lowe, had a charger called The Bear, a most appropriate name for a brute which resisted every effort on the part of all hands to get him into the horse box. The writer, with expei ience o Western Ocean cattle trade, was prominent among them when Lord Methuen, then a staff colonel (the censor), I think, took charge with a peremptory "Give me your hand, my man!' Methuen gripped my wrist, passed our arms over the horse's rump, slid them down over his tail, and with our other hands holding on to the horse box got- The Bear halfway ill— but onlv half. The horse broke our grip and lashed out with his heels, completely disproving Lord Methuen's dictum that no horse will his tail .is held down. How The Bear was finally- overcome is too long to tell.

"Senex" writes to mention that no one in the existing Cabinet or in its proposed additions is a very young man, although he admits that the more or less disTOO OLD AT 80. tinguished bunch contains men who are younger than those in past Cabinets. He wonders "why we don't give the really young New Zealander a show." One of the most remarkable leaders in the world at the moment is President Marsaryk, of Czeelio-Slovakia, and he is eighty-two. H. G. Wells says the old chap is easily the greatest mail he lias ever met, but of course H.G. modestly refrains from saying who is the greatest man the President ever met. Marsaryk still belongs to the worldfamous Czech physical culture organisation, and here are his rules of health: "I go in for sport, I am not afraid of air, sun or water. Ido not over-eat. I drink no alcohol. I have work enough for a full day." The old boy •roes out on horseback every day, and, according to his admirers, sits his n'eddy like the smartest cavalry officer. He is slight in figure. What is most thrilling about him is that his philosophy of life, work and exercise is taken from the British idea. When lie goes to England he rides about with young English fellows of any age between seventy and ninety-five.

There is momentary hesitation as to whether Mr. R. A. Wright, who formerly delighted his friends by .becoming Minister

of Education, shall or THE SHADOW, shall not join the Friendly

Ministry. Mr. Wright, who belongs to the honourable profession of printing, has, of course, made his impression on local and national politics for many years, and he would be the first to remember the almost startling impression he made on Parliament before lie was so celebrated. In those days newspapers were not so copiously illustrated as they are now, and therefore a flashlight picture of the House in session was a novelty. The picture was published in the "Wellington Times," which is 110 longer with us. The novelty of the picture wao that across the whole of it appeared the shadow of Mr. Wright's expressive countenance, a remarkably distinct and unmistakable effect. It is understood that Mr. Wright had.been momentarily restless and had crossed-the eye of the camera. There is little doubt that Mr. Wright and .his friends were entitled to say that coming events cast their shadows before." Mr. Wright would be one of the first to admit that so novel an effect' would enhance the sales value of any publication. People possessing copies of the publication treasure them as things of beauty and joys forever.

Further news comes of the little Aussie, four years of age, who wandered forty-five miles from home and mother and lived on (i grass all the six days he "ALL FLESH —" was away, being returned to mother ragged enough, but fit and well and full of chat. Doctors, of course, who have never lived on grass for even four hours, have rushed into print to say that the little lacl Shields did not obtain enough food from grass to sustain life, but obtained enough drink from the grass. Almost any medical man gazing at seventeen-hand horses, thirty-hundredweight bullocks, fat sheep, and other beasts, would write monogiaplis about the inferior sustaining qualities of grass. The lad who ate grass is lucky to ha\e been in a bit of Australia where grass grows, for he might, if he had had the legs, have travelled countless thousands of miles witiiout striKing any. One has, of course, seen infants of four and even five who have never beheld grass and never felt the gracious rain upon their parched little frames. The doctors m their declaration that the water in the grass and not the grass itself sustained little Shields a nil that the vitamins in the grass may have kept him alive, and for his own part, M.A.T. win pass along the medical opinion to the fat beeves at Westfield. They will be glad to know. _ Another, point elicited was that a human being 03,11 live sixty-four dava without ood. Perhaps it all depends upon'the being, tie might (one never knows) pretend he was starving when in fact he was having three ieeds a day from the lawnmower. A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. Those persons who have little to do are gieat talkers. A man talks, in general, in proportion to the small degree of thought he j possesses.-—-Montesquieu.