THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXII, Issue 215, 11 September 1931, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

Dear M.A.T.— The official suggestion that no two workers temperamentally unfitted shall oc-eupv the same tent at the new camps tor unmarried men is one SOT7L-MATEF which might, I think, b≥ profitably applied to tue Benedicts as well. A large proportion of present-day divorces are made on the grounds of "rneompatabilitT," or some similar- pretext, and if some kind of selection, or at least of investigation: were made beforehand there would 'undoubtedly be fewer unhappy marriages. At Rolleston House, the students' hoste] C in Christ church, the selection of roommates is always carried out with some care, and it is now the usual thing for one inmate to affectionately refer to his companion as "'my wife/' Now I don't suggest that marriageable persons should hare their soul-mates chosen for them -without their having any say in the matter, but I do think that if as much fuss were made over the securing of a, marriage certificate as there sometimes is over a divorce, the parties concerned would have more time for personal reflection, and there would be fewer cases of marrying in haste and repenting at leisure. —P.L.S.

Every man remembers his first job he never forgets his first long trousers, his first day at school, his first wages, his first love. And there are those who READY RECKONER, remember "'paying their footing-"' on entry into business life. There is an entrancing local tale of the young fellow who became a small cog in a large financial institution. His new collea.2Ties provided the usual impossible tasks for him. sent him on futile messages, and on resultless searches. But the genius of the office thought of a better one. He set the new cheek the ""Beady Reckoner," an authoritative volume which gives all those wonderful tables of interest. The lad took the book and pen and paper and set to his task, the staff one by one passing him every day seeing him plodding along uncomplainingly, sometimes leading his place to consult a colleague as to Ms results and making careful notes of the same. To make a short storv briefer, the industrious lad had compared about twenty pages in the most careful way, working out "every result, until the afnee jokers,, supposing he had had enough of this brealdngin. said he might discontinue his useless task. The coming banker, however, disputed the point that" Ms toil was without avail, and, brin<nn~ his notes, showed that on every page of the "authoritative work be had compared with his own results there was at least one mistake. And it was proved conclusively that this was so. Even now those jokers often use their former victim as a ready reckoner.

New= came lately that Earl Ranfurly.. the Xew Zealand Governor of 1597-IW4, who cheated our Veterans" Association and homes, had lost the use of nis EARL RANFURLY. right hand and was therefore unable to write, it is all the more pathetic as Lord Eanfurly {now seventy-five years old) was remarkable for Ms industry "in collating records with great care and accuracy. He himself compiled and wrote the rolls of New Zealand veterans, and went to no end of trouble in ensuring accuracy. In some cases he was instrumental in obtaining medals for old sailors or soldiers after many undecorated years. Lord Eanfurly arrived in Xew Zealand on a typical Wellington day and had some difficulty in standing unsupported on a decorated platform swathed with wet and clinging bunting in order to say how very glad he was to come to such a lovely land. Generals' cock's feathers and other sartorial ornaments were much bedraggled and even the most pronounced political e= magsmen of the moment spoke less copiously than usual in order to permit the Governor to get home and dried. One had seen the Governor before his damp entry to New Zealand driving a farm cart in Mildura (Victoria), for he had puxeliased a large area of fruit land in the irrigation settlement and amused himself slightly _by being remarkably democratic for some time. His heir, Lord Northland, who was with. Ms parents in New Zealand, was killed in action during the Great War. The present Lord Northland, a grandson, is the heir.

Communicated from Palmerston North that a lady sitting in her shop_ came under fire, sportsmen in the vicinity evidently missing the game they were POOR SHOOTING, firing at and only just missing the lady. Still, it is but occasionally stray citizens in New Zealand come under a sporting barrage. There is the case of a family who, sitting at breakfast, suddenly became aware of bullets singing around them, a weatherboard house providing a poor cover for rifle fire. It was discovered that dear little boys nest door were using the wall of a wooden fowlhouse for a rifle target, hence the miniature bombardment. The dear lads didn't know that bullets that perforated three thicknesses of kauri _ board were dangerous. But it is relatively impossible to get hit with flying bullets in Auckland, and one must go to Chicago to receive missiles not intended for one. In a recent gang war in which many well-known gentlemen were "bumped off," three motor cars passing an enemy gangster's residence fired volleys from their sawn-off shotguns, automatic pistols and other magazine weapons. It is curious that none of the enemy was killed in this little street war, but that a school child toddling along the road was slain and an old lady who was looking in a shop badly wounded. The gentlemen killers were so sorry for the old lady they sent her a large bunch of dollar bills, the police and the Press exalting their exceeding kindness. The gentlemen ; with the guns (many of whom continue in ; business) offered to give the slain child a magnificent funeral with a long train of gunmen i mourners. We haven't any mourning of the I sort in New Zealand.

The time has almost arrived for the worker to discard his woolly winter undies and to assume the silken underwear appropriate to spring. This morning, GOOD DAY ! a blue and gold masterpiece, served to show how extraordinarily potent the weather is in arranging man's outlook on things in general. Many stalwarts braving the deep from marine suburbs even turned the collars of their winter wear down and played musical chairs seeing who might bask on sunny seats. One adventurer in a bus surreptitiously opened a window. Apart from a savage glare from a bluefaced man who may have been brought up at the equator nothing of a violent nature ensued. Among folks hieing to business on average days the usual dismal query is "How's biz?" and the average man, looking at the teeming skies and the dark horizon, has usually said, "There isn ; t any." But ok a blue and gold morning when the soft breeze purrs placidly and the sun penetrates the'jrood New Zealand wool, the man asked such & question has been known to even smile and to be less hopeless. Another thing. Sunshine is death on microbes, as several thousand people with sniffs, coughs, colds and a feeling of acute misery will agree. So convinced are the more advanced medical persons of the advantage in sickness of the body or the mind of a fine day [that they fix up artificial fine days in hos*pitals and feed a person synthetic sunshine at midnight. If you were anywhere this morning where things are growing vou would see all sorts of green little people nodding to each other and exclaiming, "Good morning!"' in a cheerful voice. Even the cursed blackbirds (bless em) were singing psalms of thanks for coming strawberries. What pleased M.A.T. more than anything was the daffodils. They look so much like the gold one hopes to have i some &a.y when every day is spring.