THE PUZZLING PRESENT.

Auckland Star, Volume LXII, Issue 53, 4 March 1931, Page 16

THE PUZZLING PRESENT.

By NORMAN HUNTER

It was Tuesday morning in the kingdom of Hoonoze, and the ru lo r's birthday, both at once. His Uppermost Zenith the Iziteo of Hoonoz* name majestically down to breakfast half an hour late, as was the privilege of the reigning monarch, and began to open his parcels. There was a pair of warm wooden socks from his auntie, which weren't much good, because they were too small, and the climate was too hot for him to wear them. There was a gold-mounted p«en-wiper from his second cousin: an automatic slate pencil from his seventh nephew; and a used calendar for the year before with someone else's name scratched out, from a very mean relative, who didn't like him. "If this goes on, I shall have buthdays abolished," said the Izitac, unwrapping a nico fishing rod from his uncle, and wishing ;;here wan somewhere in the kingdom to fish; only there wasn't, except in the bath tor [celluloid fish, and that wasn't m :eh ! sport, even if you let the tap run and

kept the plug out to make tbo hsb wriggle about and be harder to ca>cr. Then, just as he was going t:> ? op opening his parcels, and uave his —which was getting cold—he came to one marked: "Many happy returns from their Majesties the King and Queen ot Craslibania." "All!" said his Uppermost Zcnitu, thinking that at last he had something oood. He cut the string, an-J 'm'iirt simply yards of paper. He threw out armfuls of coloured paper shavings, until the royal apartment looked like the dav after a bazaar. "Why, it's a picture!" he said. it out." "What a funny, one, though! Quite the ugliest sort of man i have seen." He showed it to his councillors, and they said "terribly ug!y," "friS'itful," "what a sight," 'and "I've thrown at things like that at fairs to win coc«anuts.'" "Do you know who this is?" asked the Izitso, passing the peculiar pici/ire over to the first housemaid-in-ordinary. "That I don't, your grace," she said, being very unoriental, "but she s a funny-looking one, whoever she is. "She!" said the Izitso. snatching back the picture. "It's a man!" > "Beg pardon, your excellency, but it s a lady," she said.

"Nonsense." said the Izitso. nicture of a man, isn't it.' he askea thfi councillors, and they all said it * Then in came the court magician. "Many happy returns, your--said waving his hands, and producing the nationaf flag of Hoonoze. from™ knows where, which he turned m o a box of chocolates, and offered to the Izitso. But ho didn't try to take one because he guessed, they were e'lhtr full of mustard or not there at ah. only looking as if they were But he was wrong for once, and the out magician ate them himself. "Hullo," said the magician, picking up the picture.' "Strange and cunou*. Picture of funny old man that 00*0* same upside down as right w-ay up. He never used more words than he had to except when he was doing and wanted to make people look the other way. Then everyone started wanting know what sort of a picture it was, anyway. Was it a man or a lady, and whv was it-so ugly, and why did it look the same upside down, and who was it, if any, and lots of oth^r things. . „ _ Then, in the middle of all the nois*. trumpets blew, bells rang, and in came

the King and Queen of Crashbam. ife selves. '* "Did yon like the present!" the queen. "Most charming,"' said the las: trying to be polite; "but— don me —that is to say, thank yoj much. It's just what I —er — "Is it a picture of lady or man!" said the magician; '•*],, • why same upside down. "W what, where, how—" f The king raised his hand and stopp. him. "It's not a picture," he gaid, a mirror." "A what-er?" said the lzitso. "A looking-glass," said the king. »| reflects whoever looks into it. Veri useful for doing hair by, and all that"' The lzitso burst out la sighing. "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ah," he cried. •%,, funny it is, isn't it ?—yes, no, at all' he roared talking hia natural by mistake. "Oh, the joke he is on £ yes, I think so, whatever, ha, ba hi ha." - ; Then everyone joined in, and H Wii nearly teatime before they could stop laughing, so the lzitso liad .a rath«„jolly birthday. And all because nobont had" seen a looking-glass before fo tb kingdom of Hoonose.