THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXII, Issue 51, 2 March 1931, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWWj "GOOD-BYE TO ALL THAT." Some laundries do use up the linen.—The King.. If you can see the shirt you paid ten bob for, , Kuined bevpnd redemption and repair, And say thefe're plenty more where that one came from, • . And use no naughty word nor tear your hair. If vou can don a lacerated collar That riibs vou raw and cuts you like a Kniie, And wear it all day even until bed time, And keep that cheerful, sunny view ot life. If vou can grin to see a new vest shrinking Week by week and month by month, by gosn . And smile to see a ruined blouse returned you, With some excuse that likewise will not wasn. If vou can say good-bye to all that linen. Whose glorv once lay piled upon that shelf, And not join hands with Trotsky and with Lenin, You ought to run a laundry place yourselt. —A.H. Dear M.A.T.,— For a quick "come-back" can you beat this? A Maori girl enters a shop and'asks for bread. The shopkeeper, having only brown bread, craekn MAORI WIT. his little joke and says: "Yes, we have plentj Maori bread." The girl says: "What you mean the Maori bread?" "Oh, well," says the shopkeeper, <-you know—the brown bread hke vou, brown." Then the girl comes back: That not the white, or the black, or the Maori bread. That like you, the half-caste bread. — B.V. (Otahuhu). Major Faudel-Phillips, a well-known English horseman, who has won many a red rosette at Richmond and Olympia, has opened a riding and training EQUITATION. academy in one of the most delectable parts of the Old Country, where pupils of both sexes and all ages are taught the art of equitation. The progress of the pupils is regulated by their own desire to progress, a method of acquiring confidence with which Major Faudel-Phillips

claims to have already accomplished at least two miracles, one in the case of a girl with an inborn fear of horses and the other of a young man whose nerve had been completely shattered by a bad fall in Kenya. One of a series of photographs in an illustrated weekly shows the elder piipijs doing twisting exercises on stationary horses. Sounds a bit funny, but what it means is that the .rider drops the reins, raises both arms to the level of the shoulders, and turns the body to the full extent, each way in turn. The big idea is that it induces confidence and strengthens the riding muscles. Such exercises will be "ever gratefully remembered" by New Zealanders, now of mature age, who went through the,ir cavalry training under the aegis of the British regular army. It was tough training, but produced the finished article. On active service the finishing process was occasionally quicker, and sometimes painless. The system of training in equitation (blessed word!) is a curious mixture of the ancient school and of the modern. A definite link with the haut ecole is the word "manege," always roundly pronounced by cavalry sergeants as "mannidge." Also there persists the very excellent method by which a horse is trained to respond to the pressure of the legs, and of the touch of the reins along the neck. It is all wrong for a rider to turn a horse by pulling on the mouth. During the 1914-18 skirmish, a distinguished German officer, who was a prisoner of war, was permitted to see a regiment of cavalry in training. He expressed ..admiration of the methods in use, but amazement at the command that is invariably given before the men lead their horses in to unsaddle. It is: "Make much of your horses." The soldier gives his mount a more or less perfunctory pat, or stroke, on the neck, and, believe me or believe me not, the horse likes it, showing his appreciation in the way that is unmistakable to one who understands animals. Such a command must have mystified the Prussian mind! There are fashions in words and phrases as in everything else. The latest word is "fiduciary," which has been' brought into vogue bv Australia's RESOUNDING financial vicissitudes. A PHRASES. friend of M.A.T. took

the trouble to turn to "fiduciary" in Webster's dictionary, and there found among the alternative meanings, "one who depends for salvation upon faith, without works." Somewhat appropriate in certain instances, eh? Kesounding phrases come into fashion—and also go out. Who does not remember "infiltration," as applied in its wartime sense, or "rationalisation," which, at one period, was the panacea for all political ills? Then we had "co-relation," "co-ordination," and "exploitation," to say nothing of our dear old friend "explore every avenue." Many years ago a famous jurist declared there was "not a scintilla of evidence" against his client. The legal profession pricked up its ears. "Aha," it thought. " 'Scintilla'; what a lovely word! It's got 'jot or tittle' hopelessly beaten. We'll remember that." And lawyers have done, for the scintilla has scintillated regularly, even to the present day. One of these times M.A.T. will inflict on a long-suffering public a statesmanlike utterance stuffed with specious gems of language such as this.

That witty and erudite municipalian the Rev. J. K. Archer, Mayor of Christchurch, tells a story concerning a couple who were being married at the Napier WEDDING BELLS. Presbyterian Church when the first earthquake wag felt. The party moved outside the building and the ceremony was completed there. A few days later a friend of the bridegroom said to him, "You got a fright on your wedding day?" "Yes," replied the groom, "and I have her still." Reminds one of the evergreen story about the bashful bridegroom who had to respond to the toast of the bride at the wedding breakfast. He put a loving hand on the shoulder of his life partner, cleared his throat and began, "Er—l've bad this thrust upon me. . . ." Joan, aged six, does not like porridge. Let the helping be never so small and let the milk and sugar be added never so liberally, Joan regards the exce'lTHE CHILD lent, body-building oatMIND. meal with marked dis- . taste. The other morning her father addressed her sternly. "Do- you know, there are hundreds of little children in Auckland who would be* glad to have it this very minute," he said. Joan signed. "Oh, I do wish you could take it to them, daddy" she replied. THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. You will do the greatest service to the State if you shall raise, not the roofs of houses, but the souls of the citizens; for it is better that great souls should dwell in mean, houses than for mean slaves to lurk in great houses. —Epictetus. * * * » You cannot waste time in advance. The next year, the next day, the next bour, are lying ready for you, as perfect, as unspoilt, as if you had never wasted or misapplied a single moment in all your career.—Arnold Bennett. »** - • How small of all that human hearts endure That part which laws or kings can cause or cure! Still to ourselves in every place consigned, Our own'felicity we make* or find. With secret course, which no loud storms annoy, Glides the smooth current of domestic joy, —Johnson.