THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXII, Issue 37, 13 February 1931, Page 61

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.; ST. GEORGE AND THE RAGGIN'. A witness' stated that the Mayor, Mr. Baikli*i, offered to fight any member of the deputation. —News item. They ame like an army, And marching in fours, Their' beat at the gates and they banged at the doors. . , Thoy marshalled their forces and formed into line, While bawling for Baildon And Oscar Meßrine. And typists were twitterins. Clerks were a-squealin', Appealing to Entrican, Bnrton and Phelan. Imagine the chaos that must have been there. The cheek of the chappies who Menaced the Mayor! Meticulous Murray Allowing (perhaps) , , , A notice of motion by Lnndon to lapse! And Hutchison, rushing tpjoin in the broil, Colliding with Campbell and Casey and Coyle! Then down went the gauntlet to all and to each. The bellicose Baildon had stepped in tlie breech! Exhibiting courage exceeding by far The quantity quoted of young Lochlnrar, At once the procession had taken the hunch, _ They backed from the bloke who was packing 'the punch." So hail to the prowess exhibited there By genial Gcorgic the pugilist Mayor. All that glitters is not gold. There is apparently rather a disadvantage in wearing one's pocket through with sovereigns at the present time. The news OLD GOLD. circulating that a tourist received only twenty shillings for his sovereigns, but seven and six premium for his B. of E. fivers, makes this clear. That we rather scorn gold nowadays is shown by the fact that when a local boy found a sovereign on the beach an adult eyewitness immediately offered him sixpence for it. Several local young people engaged in commerce have exclaimed when wicked strangers have offered them sovereigns over the counter, "I've seen your kind before. We don't take foreign money here!" The local financial situation was complicated some years ago by the visit of American warships whose personnel were oozing British sovereigns. Many who bought half-crown goods w-ondered why they got as much as ten whole shillings change and led their comrades to the bargains. The new-chum American may be excused for pot understanding our complicated currency. Time was when it was illegal to send an employee away with, notes for his toil, and many hoary citizens can remember the time when they staggered from the countinghouse borne down by the intolerable weight of gold. M.A.T. has before mentioned that sovereigns scorned by the young are etill purchased by jewellers, probably as souvenirs of earlier days—perhaps not. Travellers opine that in some parts of the Empire where the people bow down to wood, stone and sovereigns they wear the coins for buttons and even give more than face value for them. No heathen has ever been seen with banknote buttons. Occasionally strong, old men are to be seen wearing sovereign-cases still filled witb these strange coins, and there is the story of a very young bank teller who, called on to take some sovereigns over the mahogany, swooned and was only revived by being fanned with a well-worn pound note. It was also used as a smelling bottle with astonishing recuperative effect.

A splendid opportunity was afloftfed citizens this morning of refraining from proceeding to work. A tramcar had done some inexplicable thing and a harried FREE DISPLAY, tram man was in a devotional attitude with a jack and other tools of his trade. As the business turn-to hour sounded, long queues of men stood on or near the tram line eagerly engaged in watching the man with the- jack and the spanner and the crowbar. As far as the eye could reach (at least as far as Wyndham Street) trams were stuck up while the jack was working and the onlookers were not. The idea of reciprocity occurred to M.A.T. Why if innumerable clerks, shop assistants and others find so much joy in seeing a tram man work do not tram men swarm into offices and shops to gloat over a man serving out socks or keeping books ? Suggested that .there was nothing to deter the forty tram men on the twenty hibernating trams from leaving their vehicles and invading business premises to see other people working. All the same, there is something inspiring and invigorating to the worker toiling in public in the interest of the crowd. A navvy slings a better shovel for an audience and in the altitudes of art the artist is lost without his public. That is why some of those gramophone records sung by vocalists in uninhabited rooms sometimes sound so tinny. The public helps only in a psychological way. There is the story of the famous Lord Brassey, once Governor of Victoria. His Excellency saw a small boy pushing a heavy truck up a steep hill. The little chap was having a rough spin. His Excellency stepped over and said, "Sideways, my boy, sideways!" And the unregenerate boy put the wisdom of the spheres into his retort, "Never mind about sideways; come and give us a push!"

There is a certain diabolical brightness about politics, State, national and municipal, in the United States. In Chicago the Mayor has put on zoological BRIGHT ELECTION, parades,, including elephants and mules labelled with the names of his opponents, and no doubt causing fun to all hands, barring the lampooned citizens. The innovation is susceptible of local application. You may imagine the effect of a plodding ass labelled with the command "Vote for Blank," or the appearance on parade of a representative leopard with the name of a candidate and "Can the leopard change his spots, or the Ethiopian his skin ?" There would be keen competition to hire the council's elephants,'for the side of an elephant represents a great deal of advertising space. A popular, candidate might very justly hire the big lion, indicative of municipal kingship. There is no doubt" that the candidate who could obtain a snake and decorate him with the name of a hated rival would score heavily, and a man with a labelled kangaroo might easily hop in. A Stanley Bay resident is the proud possessor of a nectarine tree laden with delectable fruit. For months past he has tended the tree soliciFORBIDDEN FRUIT, tously, saw it bud into leaf, and, gradually, the fruit ripen in Auckland's brilliant, summer sunshine. Yet ripening fruit imposes something of a strain on Auckland suburban dwellers. Close watch had to be kept to ensure the harvesting of the crop. On a recent night an unwary foot collided with a stray tin in the garden, and, awakened by a • lightsleeping wife, the Stanley Bay resident saw two shadowy forms in his garden. He used tact, not violence. "If you want to get out of the garden," he called in a calm voice, "just walk past the nectarine tree. The concrete' path leads past the back door, and I will be there to direct you to the gate." The offer of guidance was not accepted. The shadowy visitors left via the back fence. They left hurriedly.

THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. Shun the negative side.—Emerson. I know what pleasure is, for I have-done food work. —E. L. Stevenson. **- * m For a man's mind is sometimes wont to tell him more than seven watchmen that sit above in a high tower. —Ecclesiasticufi.