THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXII, Issue 36, 12 February 1931, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.; The "Financial Times," which is published in England and not in Ireland, commenting on the attitude of the Premier of -New South Wales, . says that . Mr. Lang' '"is a discredited politician scenting his approaching eclipse." One imagines liiin sniffing the stars with an anxious eye, or listening to the thunder of coming, dissolution with a trembling lip for the sound of burning. Mr. Lang's olfactory of a coining eclipse may remind devotees of Rider Haggard of an incident in "King Solomon's Mines," also concerned. with an eclipse. It was touch and go with the white men. They had, of course, to show their savage African hosts that they were Big Medicine, high pale, inkoos of the best quality. The white baases conferred, and, having found in their kit an ancient calendar, to their joy they discovered that an eclipse of the moo;n was indicated. They therefore appeared before the big black chief and his bloodthirsty warriors. The Great White Magician told them in choicest Zulu that at the wave of a hand all was possible to them, £o, in short, the darkies had better watch their step. To demonstrate this power the spokes-, man said lie would that evening blot out the moon. The evening came, the meeting,was-, called, the moon, rose, the White Magician screamed his incantations. Suppose the almanac was wrong, suppose tlie eclipse didn't happen! Their cake was dough.. The incantations proceeded, the moon was eclipsed' as per almanac, the White Magician's marvellous power was demonstrated, and their marble good. There is no record, however, of them using the nose ,to scent the coming eclipse. They used the jaw. Perhaps-Mr. Lang , — —!

A KEEN S6E.NT.

Keen sportsmen in Australia liave" been criticising the judging of racing at A.J.C. meet-' ings. Mr. D. A. Smith, the judge, selects the first two horses and. his assistant tlie third and ■ fourth. There is the story of an early application of this method. It was the -Ironbark Handicap. The judge intimated to his assistant that lie himself would name '; the first and second horses; and that the assistant must decide on the third. A clinking race took place. The judge and his assistant consulted. "Belar -first, Emu Girl second," said the judge. "What was third?" "There wasn't any third," replied the assistant. "You pinched lier for second place." The earthquakes have, touched. people's •hearts. A record of acts 'of unobtrusive kindness will never be made, nor does anyone who does an act of kindness desire praise. An inci- ■ dent which; is most certainly one of many may "be told. A family Which, had suffered in the earthquake came to friends in" Auckland. The clothes of a'small son sadly needed cleaning, as they were at the moment the only ones he had. The clothes were taken to a cleaning establishment, where the , mother wa;s asked, "Do you come from the earthquake area?" On receiving an affirmative reply the establishment 4 said that no charge would be made. In other establishments where people from Hawke'sj Bay have made purchases the proprietors in many cases have made only the smallest charges, and* have, indeed, almost given the articles awaj'. You may take it as certain that this unobtrusive method of giving personal help is widespread. The titanic.forces which have raised the bed of Napier Harbour never cease playing pitch and toss with the ..earth, and early in the history of white men in New Zealand Vulcan acted , ~ ; in the traditional way. In the days of early settlement in New Zealand the coast line around Wellington was greatly raised and, in fact,, the sea retired from Miramar, where now stand so many i streets of dwellings. The reason for the lack of casualties in those- earlier days was the comparative absence of people. During one of the earliest earthquakes there was only one brick building in Wellington, and this was the .barracks for the military forces. The-, earthquake shook this building and killed one-, soldier. It was possibly those .early warnings * that induced the authorities to forbid the erection of rigid buildings and which accounted for the ultimate erection of' "the largest wooden building in the world" to house the State's servants in the capital. ' Our Maori brethren have been very justly complimented lately for the" share they liaVe taken in rescue operations in the earthquake areas. They have always been celebrated for . high intelligence and a sense of justice. A sample of this intelligence is related by an old Wanganui man. During the war the directors of a picture theatre issued instructions that no Maori was to be admitted to the theatre.. The .Maoris, did not fuss' or swear about it. They accepted the ruling of the directors and did not. clamour at the doors of the theatre. On a road outside the city there was a- forty-acre paddock .devoted to gorse, blackberries, tea-tree and other flowers. It belonged to. the Maoris. The brown •gentlemen, caused a huge board to be erected and 011 it. in the very largest letters were the names of three of the city's best-known men. Each had a line or two to himself. "Mr. A. (naming his/occupation) is liot allowed in this paddock," Mr; 8., and Mr. C.'s names following with the same remark. The startled public gathered round the board .and wondered why these intensely respectable professional men were debarred, not understanding why any one of them should pine to trespass among the blackberries and gorse. The upshot was that within three days the three gentlemen had had enough pf " the joke and negotiations for the removal of the notice were begun." One forgets whether our Maori brethren were afterwards admitted to the movies.

TOO MANY COOKS.

FRIENDS IN NEED.

VULCAN'S HABIT.

REVENGE.

.It is cabled that some Chinese "passengers" went aboard a steamer near Shanghai with geese to 'sell tp. the other passengers. Each man had a machine pistol under the wing of his. goose and. later : they opened fire, killing four soldiers and wounding others. Crafty Orientals! Even white men have to use craft. Locally during crowded moments plain-clothes officials have wandered nonchalantly among the people in case there should be rioting. A man' in the crowd was seen to have a large bulge in his pocket, and a zealous plain-clothes man very naturally ;desired to investigate. It seemed to him to look very like half a brick. Hjs pi - actised eye followed the suspect. Suddenly the suspect withdrew the missile from his pocket. He was seen- to denude it of the brown paper in which it was wrapped—and partake of a hearty lunch! The foiled sleuth smiled, and the luriclier is still unaware that lie was the object of a natural susDicion. The two friends had been to a picture show. In it was a bit of good stuff showing a lion chasing a darkie and subsequently mauling him. An argument . ensued between the two fans. Bertrand declared the episode was fake. Albert indignantly decided it was a genuine incident. "Do you think," asked Bertrand, "that anybody would stand at a camera and wind off a tragedy without trying to help the poor blighter the lion mauled?" "I do!" retorted Albert, "The photographer never saw him!" (

THE HALF-BRICK.

AGAIN IN CAMERA.