THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXI, Issue 192, 15 August 1930, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) SAFETY FIRST. A "Safety First" campaign Is to be held in Auckland. 'l find as I drive round the streets, :K, Petrol-ling day by day. Provocative pedestrians ,---. ( Arc always in the way; No matter what I do. I'm sure <-\ ■ ; . They always fail to see,How dangerous their presence is To me, to me, to me. These callous creatures, go on foot And cross the streets per boot At less than twenty miles per hour Despite my kindly toot; . ~ _ - No magnaphonic cars have they, 'No telescopic eye, _» . ' Thus threatening grievous harm to me, And I, and /, and J. ' ..-_.■•'• - They lack the hurdler's aerial grace, " Their leaps are all too snort. Although I give them each a chance To follow'this fair sport; I daily try pedestrians out, . Few of them e'er T>reak nine Across my splendid concrete road. It's mine! it's mine! it's mine! Oh. shout the slogan "Safety First J" Pedestrians desist . -From pushing vehicles .about, Save, save the motorjst! I know a fair necropolis, . . A short ride up the line, I'll give it to pedestrians, . It's thine! it's thine! it's thine! Pigeon fanciers have complained that sportsmen, spotting homing birds doing their level best to, get back to the cage, have potted • . . them on the wing, one THE of those ex - RULING PASSION, hibitions of the passion of "let's,go out and-kill something." When live pigeon shooting from the mat was commoner than it is now groups of secondary sportsmen used to hang around on the outskirts of the paddock and get the escapees as they flew over. /So the* pigeon had two chances, it's own and that of the late lamented Mr. Buckley. If there was any justification for'the second gun it Avas that it often bowled over a maimed bird and thus saved him a bad. half an hour. Apropos of the passion for killing things that can't hit back'there was a one-legged gull that.used to hop around on wharf sheds for some years. Some week-end sportsman had shot the other leg. away, and, of course, the gull had to earn a living' thus handicapped. '' The pathetic side interested one less than the fact that Nature came to the. aid of the bird and gave him enough fight and assurance for two gulls. -Even mollyhawks were frightened of him;. , ;

' He is a.man at least half a century old. Nice man, too. Hearty chap; Came breezing down the corridor on a.frosty morning smiling

like the-morn. "Glorious THE BATH SONG, morning!" he informed

M.A.T., and gave a couple of pirouettes and the first movement of a handspring. , "Morning like this," he continued. "I get out just as the sun is peeping over the eastern edge, dash out in my pyjamas on to the lawn, run round in the crisp frost for ten minutes, retire to the A ; eraudah, pick up my Indian clubs and do two dozen of them. After that a few army extension exercises, a couple of rounds of Swedish 'on the hands down, legs in the air by numbers.' Then in the altogether I stand in two feet of water in the bathroom arid sing under, the shower until the maid's shrill clarion is heard in tlie passage, 'Breakfast is on the table!' A smart rub down with a hard_ towel, the good, old porridge; cream, bacon and egg,, and so to work." He paused a moment and "looked pathetically at M.A.T. "What a liar I am!" he said. ■ ;

"It's almost impossible to believe men used to get knocked clown with slow gigs, bowled over with wheelbarrows and sent to the hos--pital after collision with THE STOLEN CAP. push bikes," he said, watching a small . car missing a tram by two inches. "Still, oldfashioned spills were upsetting and funny when there was no fatality. I remember passing down Weilesley Street once, on my way to my daily cross. A highly respected city man who has since risen to a very talkative position' was crossing the road. He was immaculately dressed, speckless gleaming, boots, spotless hard-hitter. A boy on a push bike turned a corner. Another boy was standing on the step. The two boys and the bike smote the business man about/ the meridian, and riders, bike and magnate were in one black burial blent. All three rose from tho dust cloud, the boys frightened, the man most indignant, and the bike bent. None was hurt, but the furious business man, after he had dusted himself, violently seized oiie of tho lad's, small cloth caps off the road,"thrust it on his own head, and with angry head up walked down the street. I recall it as exquisitely amusing to have seen this opulent citizen go fully two hundred yards down the street with a schoolboy's cap on his head while the .small bicyclist with the magnate's hardhitter on,his head dashed after him calling out 'Here, mister, you've pinched me cap! 5 " • '

An interested eye witness who had watered a municipal official with his little box and cycle going- to the dogs recalled a singular instance of .saf»aeitv in THE CATTLE DOG. an old . cattle dog^wh" , •■:>•■' spent most of Ms time sunning himself on a pavement. in Newton One day three joyous girls came trippinc down the sidewalk. They were not thinking o f dreaming old cattle dogs, and the.middle" "•hi trod ou his; tail, and, unknowing, passed e on with her companions. The old. fellow .blinked looked round in indignant surprise and calmly walked after the girls. He bit,the shoeheel of. the middle girl, turned quietly and went back to Ins old spot. The. eye witness wants to know how the old dog who was asleep when the girl stepped on his tail knew/whiqh of the three had done the deecL ■■-^■-

The ancient Egyptians regarded the cat as a sacred animal, • treated it sumptuously and gave it an elaborate funeral. There is

MANYPATQ * in the MAHY CATS. Auckland Ait Gallery ~ , . ' showing the ceremony. Most people, because the cat has become so domesticated (although it is a pariah at heart) regard pussy with affection. hearth :. rugs L are decorated with living- speteiTU- A f x e v e rybody knows, there hae 'been a public YVorks construction camp at Purewa ami the people engaged, there had many oats! lhe camp broke, up, but cate were loft behind. The attention of the S.P.C.A beincalled to these half-starving stray cats it! inspector spent two days cat hunting hr. the abandoned camp and humanely destroyed about thirty-eight of them. It would be useful to know why people.who would, assuredly take away .-their canaries or tame rabbits, parrots dogs white mice, ducks, fowls or pigeons! abandon cats which naturally turn again to the wild life of their kind. Possibly tblre was no idea of cruelty, but the presence of thirtyeight starving eats with a promise of much future Predatory progeny is not alluring it

WHO TOLD YOU THAT? . Vicar: "You haven't been to Sunday school iateiy, Janie. . :' Janie: "Noj.Mr. _. Mother says .she's not going to.your, church any. more. We're 3°- m £ «*"J°ui some other 'abomination," ■