WIRELESS LAND.

Auckland Star, Volume LXI, Issue 33, 8 February 1930, Page 2 (Supplement)

WIRELESS LAND.

The room was very still,, the fire low. The clock had just struck twelve, and though I knew I ought to go to bed, oh, it seemed such a lot of bother when I was so comfortable.

Suddenly I sat up and nibbed my eyes. Surely—but no—yes, a little figure had flown out of the loud speaker. "I suppose you're one of those explorers, like all the rest of them," he addressed me squeakily, "so I've come to take you to Wireless Land."

"Oh, thank you so much," I said, clasping his hand. Next moment I found myself about six inches high rushing toward the dark cavern of the loud speaker. I shut my eyes and as soon as I opened them, I had to clap my hands over my ears, for a terrific din of squealing, groaning, shrieking and whistling started all round.

"It's quite all right," said my guide, "everyone does that here." It sounded to me as if everyone did as. I stumbled across the street.

"Hey, look out for the wireless tram!" someone shouted, and I just threw myself out of the way as a crowd of people swept by in this fearsome thing. Just escaping a wireless car, I rushed for the footpath to a clear space where some workmen were erecting a new building. As I reached! this haven I was thrown back with terrific force. "Look out, silly, didn't you see those wireless reinforcements for that building over there ?"

I meekly nodded, and as> another tram went by I rushed to get into a little iron house which stood nearby. As soon as I had regained my breath, I foundi that I was swaying 20 storeys above the roadway. I groaned in despair. Who would have thought of wireless cranes? Then in a moment my hopes brightened. A wireless aeroplane came toward me, carrying my guide.

"Catch this wireless," he said, and threw it out toward me. I could not see it, but the end hit my arm and I felt it all right. I grasped it and was soon speeding along in the wireless 'plane.

"Would you like to see the zoo now from the air?" I was asked.

It appeared a very queer place, for the lions and tigers and panthers and jaguars and all the other dangerous beasties were just wandering about and gazing hungrily at the people who passed along a path nearby.

"Don't they ever eat any of those people?" I said.

"Of course not, don't you see the wireless fence that shuts them in ? It's much better than the silly walls you people have. This one doesn't interrupt the view. The wave-length for the lions is only 300 metres, but the giraffe has a 2000 metres' wave round him. Look, there's a monkey trying to get out. The waves are over the top there, besides all round, so it's all right Aren't those pretty birds i:i that wireless cage over there? I always like birds, especially chickens."

It certainly was an awfully strange land, I reflected, and it seemed to me that the ordinary, everyday, commonplace old world would do me.

Suddenly the 'plane began rocking and dipping in a crazy way.

"We're just passing Wireless Land," said my guide. "Crossing the boundary is always rough. Hang 011 though, if we meet a cross current, wc are —" a terrific explosion followed and we hurtled earthwards. I fainted.

When I came round the first thing I saw was a little canary in a real cage, with real wire. Tliank goodness! I'm not nearly so keen on wireless now. Funny!