RADOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LX, Issue 307, 28 December 1929, Page 2 (Supplement)

RADOM SHOTS

J^V

"People are becoming more human and the Church is becoming more tolerant," says a Dunedin clergyman. It is strange that humans have not been fully human before now. Perhaps the minister is an evolutionist. Reform suffered defeat in the Hutt by-election, but readers of Reform newspapers were perhaps not greatly affected. By reading the reports of the Reform candidate's meetings they had all the sensations of victory beforehand. "There is a possibility of a heating plant being installed at the Mount Eden baths before the winter comes round." The reference, of course, is to the calendar winter, and not to the Christmas season. New Zealanders would love to see a New Zealander fly from England to Australia, but in view of the publicity attending such flights, and their failures, the airmen should be asked not to mention their object until they have achieved it. "The universal language —Esperanto —will be taught in Auckland schools by enthusiasts in the subject after ordinary hours, subject to the approval of committees." There is this to be said in consolation of the children: Anything taught can be forgotten. "When fellows com© round and tell you farmers that you are the backbone of the country, you need to be a bit fuspicious of them; they aro looking for something from you." More than that, the farmers no doubt should strive to get their own back. "This board should take a stand and say, 'It is impossible to pack any nore sardines into this particular tin,'" said a member of the Grammar School Board, referring to the overcrowding of the schools. The Education Board, no doubt, will reply that in this connection it simply does not know such a word as "impossible." "Instead of the old system of trying to cram facts and figures into a boy'a head, there is now a very distinct move to train the mind to think, not mechanically, but originally." I don't advise any student of mathematics to do any original thinking in the exam. room. If he does, he should refrain from putting his conclusions on paper. "It is reported that there is keen competition for the post of chauffeur to the Mayor of Christchurch. It is stated, however, that no appointment will be made, and that on those -occasions when the Mayor does not elect to drive himself one of the traffic inspectors will be detailed for the duty." With a traffic inspector for chauffeur, the Mayor should at least be able to avoid prosecutions by the Traffic Department.

If the four North Shore boroughs amalgamated I presume that the controlling body, the North Shore Borough Council, would hold its meetings in each of the boroughs in rotation. Angry ratepayers with grievances would have a long time to wait for a meeting in their own district, but when it came they could at least make it a memorable one for the councillors.

"Pigeon-holed in the desk of the Minister of Defence in Wellington is a report which the' Dominion appears to have forgotten. Yet it is an important report, for it was prepared by Air Marshal Sir John Salmond at the request of the New Zealand Government." It is not strange that a pigeonholed report has been forgotten; that's ;\>hy it was pigeon-holed. It is d"(!icult to remember, offhand, any report to the Government which lias caused many people to cease thinking of the next race meeting. An interesting report might be prepared on the cost, nature, results, and eventual fate of previous reports, but unfortunately it, too, might be pigeon-holed.

"A boy who could get up in front of his class and express himself would gain confidence and get accustomed to the sound of his voice—two assets of a good speaker." These assets of a good speaker are often the conspicuous failings of a bad one. Isn't it a fact that audiences will pay less attention to a speaker who is bursting with confidence than to another who begins to speak nervously, but conquers his nervousness because he has something to say, and cays it earnestly? As 'for the gentlemen who have grown accustomed to the sound of their voices, and like it, there are too many of them already. They don't know when to stop. By all means let the boys grow accustomed to their own voices, but give the other boys the right of saying, with due and proper emphasis, that they haven't grown accustomed to listening.

THE NEW YEAR PROPHET. "The outlook for the New Yeai' is not very promising—it is doubtful whether there will be any improvement in existing conditions."—Trade forecast. Nineteen twenty-nine is dying. Goodness me! How Time is flying! Every passing moment's crying Nineteen thirty! TVhe-ewl Swiftly now my vision glances Through historic whims and chances Then, away' to wide expanses— Flights of fancy! Pooh 1 Through the future's open spaces My imagination races And I slgli. "Eheu ! Fugaces !". What a lot of bosh I Thinldug in circumlocutions. On my modes and institutions, Here I'll make new resolutions— Piffle! Rubbish! Tosh! Hark! The mills of grim endeavour Mercilessly grinding ever Webs of life that join and sever— Rattle! Zip! and Zoom! Through the march of Time diurnal, Season's swinging—summer, vernal— I am sure that toil eternal Is my dady doom. Every day its strength in measure To the principles I treasure.Love and grief, distress and pleasure. Oee Why should I fretf Will 1 get a daily dinner? Shall I ever back a winner? Gosh! My bank account is thinner! That's an easy bet!, i-. ■<- What's up? Christmas Timet That's over! Holidaysf I'm not a rover. - Am I wild! No, I'm in clover. What? You ivant some fun!Brothers on Life's wayward rivqfc .Toin me! Nineteen-thirty—Viva ! Here's my wish —despite my liver— , Good hick, everyone 1 — E.A.