THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LX, Issue 74, 28 March 1929, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

For my sins, writes "M.F.C.," I live in a neighbourhood where children are plentiful, and where the ancient adage that silence is golden is respected no NOISY BOYS. more than is the saying that little boys should be seen and not heard. From 7 a.m. onwards pandemonium reigns. On a recent public holiday I was awakened by the noise of a crowd of youngsters who were awaiting the arrival iof the bus which was to bear them picnicwards. I became "fey," I was gifted with second sight, and the Delphic spirit was moved within me. Hence an INCANTATION OVER NOISY BOYS. May you, when grown to man's estate. Live in a bouse, behind a gate, A grassy plot, some paved paths. A wooden fence, well built of laths; May crowds of boys, all armed with sticks, And clad in jerseys, strides or "knicks," I'lay football with an empty tin ; Kick up a row and shriek like sin, And make a simply filthy din ; Engage In many a wordy battle. As down your fence their sticks they rattle. Now this, I pray, shall be your fate. When you have come home rather late, And feel inclined to sleep till eight.

"Spring doubles," and the vagaries of fortune experienced by those who follow the sport of racing, inevitably recall a sensational race in which the chief KILBRONEY. performer was one Kilbroney, the same horse, no less, as the one now resident in New Zealand, whose progeny have done so well at Ellerslie and on other Dominion courses. The race M.A.T. is about to describe took place in 1911. It was the Great Metropolitan Handicap at Epsom, a two and a-quarter miles event, and Kilbroney, a proved 6tayer, was mildly fancied by his connections. Fancied only mildly because he was a colt of moods; sometimes he would do well, and sometimes he showed an aversion to doing anything at all save staying at the post when the other horses had begun to race. This was a case in point. Kilbroney resolutely declined to start, and the efforts of his lightweight jockey, one Winter, availed not to persuade him. He was, in fact, badly "left," and there was rejoicing amongst the "bookies" who had laid against his chance. One of them, who is still a well-known figure on the turf at Home, waved his hand and yelled: "Nah, where's yer Kilbroney ? I'll lay a 'undred pahnds to a good cigar against Kilbroney." One of the patrons of the enclosure, a wellknown sportsman, quietly remarked: "All right, So and so; just for fun, I'll take you," and the bet was on. Then came an amazing exhibition. Kilbroney suddenly decided to take an interest in the race, and set off in pursuit of the field, which was a full furlong ahead. It was, as already mentioned, a two and a-quarter mile race, and it was being run slowly. Jockey Winter did not bustle his mount; he simply let him go his own pace, and gradually the gap lessened. Then, in a thrilling finish, the horse won by a neck. The bookie paid out the £100 with a grin. "Blime," he said, "yer couldn't see the 'orse's 'oofs 'ittin' the ground."

Dear M.A.T.—Not being a mathematician beyond the point of being able to determine whether the boss has paid me my just and lawful overtime each MANY ELEVENS, week, I was rather intrigued to read that out of_ the 17 players who were with the English cricket team in Australia it would have been possible to have chosen 12.376 different elevens. It was put this way: Even assuming that the two wicket-keepers are reckoned as one player, and the choice becomes lessened to 16 men, then there could be 8008 changes so that two elevens are not the same. Fifteen men could supply 1365 different combinations of eleven; and and 78 and 12 different elevens could be selected from 14, 13 and 12 men respectively. What I want to know is how many different teams of 15 players could have been chosen out of the 29 players who went with the All Blacks to South Africa? Trusting that you have a few mathematical friends and some adding machines to help you. —Stump. Mention of one Corker, who kept his job by the simple expedient of giving the wrong name when "sacked" for loafing instead of working recalled to a RIDING THE local business man the RODS. case in which a man was paid a day's wages for doing nothing. He was hanging about the warehouse actually waiting to apply for work when business man aforesaid noticed him, concluded that he was one of the men engaged, decided that he was not on e of the sort who ''make two blades of grass grow where one grew before," and sent him with a note to the office. There he received a full day's pay—for nothing—and was told, very firmly, to "git." Another friend of M.A.T's related the yarn of a man at Albuquerque New Mexico, who had been arrested for trainjumping, that is to say, travelling without paying his fare. Accused explained to the magistrate next morning that he was stuck L, W S rk '- ' 1 admit hiding the guts of a rattler (in other words, hanging on to the rods of a goods train), but I'm an honest °uv and a good worker." After perusing his record the beak remarked: "You'll work here for a month. Next case."

Funny how many great comediennes, who have laughed and sung their wav into history, started by playing tragedy." Peg Wofwr fington was one." She WOFFTNrTnw °+<."i a time to WOFFINGTON. settle down. When she was r> u - , . ten she was Paying Pollv Peachum m a children's dancing version o'f tSw Not 1111111 she twenty-three did she speak the first part, in fS a °n +?" i ? Ro - val ~ a night, in thl I ra a r d fashion of the citv were m the boxes, waiting to see her as Ophelia *or one thing, most of them knew her mother, who took in the washing; and there she was as large a s life, in a* brand-new mantle kind-hearted Peg had bought her Besides, Peg s witching grey eyes were alreadv fm,™Ti? ? Cir Vlotims - Tw ° years later she found her legs, so to speak, for when she had once appeared in a breeches part, as a daSh ing young blood, what comedienne could live Tiv Yi 9 116 P erfor mance made her the talk of London. Xow she could keen her carnage and pair. Now she could preside in the big armchair, at Sheridan's Beefsteak 'Sv + W^ Cr , e J neatest politicians of the president V leaders-and their charming president. Now she could becin to nut that little fortune which helpeTher t ? o S u/ port her mother, to educate her sister and It t d the almsho »ses she founded at Paddmgton, on the banks of Father T„lames, where she died, on March 28, 1700. THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY is D „t * • • Whatever to-morrow brings will brn God, and whatever it g bring take away His love.—Dr. Glvn.* 7 " WIH not trv ImfT 0 ' S SPe " accom panving i n du«-