WINNING JOKES

Auckland Star, Volume LX, Issue 55, 6 March 1929, Page 18

WINNING JOKES

i.First, by Pearl Sutton. 5, Meola Road, Point Chevalier.) The wait, r brought the dinner bill, but two Scotsmen took 110 notice and went on talking. When they had nothing more to say they smoked on hour after hour in silence. At midnight one of them got tip and telephoned to his wife: "\Dinna wait up for me, lass. It looks like a deadlock."

(Second, by Gwenyth Bagnall, 15, Lochiel

Road, Remuera.) Teacher (to pupil): Now, Tommy, can you tell me why people refer to "The wisdom of the serpent"? Tommy (after a little hesitation): Please, miss, "cos you can't pull a snake's leu.

(Third, by Murray Eawson, Minnehaha Avenue, Takapuna.) The village choir boys had decided to form a cricket team, and appointed their junior member lion, secretary. In due course the youngster appealed to the curate for support. This is how the letter ended: "And we should be verv pleased, sir, if you would allow us the use of the bats which the choirmen say you have in the belfry."

(Fourth, by Jack Wood, IS, Bracken Avenue. Epsom.) An Afrieau mission y was disturbed one niglit by an inm>..al commotion in his chiokon nui. He hurried into his irarcleii, Tint could not penetrate the inky void. Who's there?" he demanded. Voice: It am only de mosquitos dat am botherin' us chickens, sail.

Scouters' Race, 100 yards: Leikis, S.M. (St. Aidan's), 1; Pietersen, S.M. (Heme B a y)> 2; Davis, A.S.M. (St. Aidan's), 3. Results of Points Competition: Otahuhu 13, St. George's 8, St. Aidan's 7, St. Barnabas' 6, Heme Bay 5, Kitchener 4, Gordon 1. Fourteen other troops also started.

No. 3 District. A meeting of the Scouters of Xo. 3 area was held in the St. Barnabas' Rovers' den on Monday evening last. D.S.M. Dyer presided over a representative attendance. The D.S.M. explained that the meeting was called to discues ways and means of reviving interest and enthusiasm in the area. After discussion it was decided to try a series of combined parade. It was explained that there were 11 troops in the area, with a membership of nearly 300, including 20 Scouters, surely enough to combine'and put on some good interest-raising shows. An invitation to the area to attend a "Scouts' Own" services was received from Rev. E. T. Olds, off Mount Eden, and accepted. A committee was set up to make the arrangements. The date will be announced later. It was decided to hold an area rally on June 1. Each troop will contribute displays. The initial arrangements were left in the hands of the D.S.M. It was further resolved to suggest to the Advisory Board that a suitable date for a district rally would be August 3 next, such date coinciding with the international jamboree celebrations of the twenty-first anniversary of Scouting. The full'backing of the area was assured. Other subjects dealing with the welfare of the troops were discussed and the meeting adjourned feeling that a start had been made toward better scouting in that area.

Trident Inspection Delayed. Word has to-day been received from Christchurch that Commander Hall, who was due in Auckland on March 15, has met with an accident, and consequently will be unable to carry out the original itinerary. Arrangements have been put back one week and the inspection will take place on the corresponding days of the following week, viz., March 22 and 23.

Edendale Cub Picnic. The Edendale Pack held their first picnic on Saturday last, March 2, when 26 Cubs together with several parents and members of the committee spent a glorious day on the Motuihi Island, writes C.M. I. Livingstone. Swimming was the main attraction until lunch came on the scene. After lunch the splendid bush on the island was the scene of a flag-raiding game. A.C.M. Brebner climbed a tree which the boys had to reach without being seen by him. Later two Scouts joined in a tracking game. After a five minutes' start the Pack followed their trail which led through the bush to the beach, where another swim was the order of the day. It was a sleepy, but happy Pack of Cubs who set out for home after tea and it will be a long time before they forget their first picnic which was such a success, thanks to the committee and other helpers.

Morse for First Class? The third Morse reading appears elsewhere on this page and readers will find introduced another abbreviation which has probably not come their way before. When discussing this column with Michael recently a Scouter expressed the opinion that Morse work should be made compulsory for first class tests. This is a matter that will eventually receive the consideration of the Examination Board and Scouters will be well advised to include this form of signalling in the training of second and first class Scouts.

Last week's message read: "Signalling calls for concentration of mind and is largely a matter of self-education. The quick response of brain and hand to the eye is also a great aid in mental discipline. Auckland, 27/2/29."

Vindictive Sea Scouts. Owing to the Master's unavoidable absence the usual Friday evening's parade was under the charge of Mr. Bigwood who was ably assisted by Mr. Carr and Captain Carter. The combined Scout picnic upset the usual Saturday arrangements and the parade was optional. Several of the juniors were present at the picnic, together with two senior hands. In a combined tug-o-war of Sea Scouts v. Boy Scouts with 18 per side the rope failed to stand the strain and both teams sOon hit the deck. Another pull of eight a team resulted in a win for the "terra firma" Scouts. The company is reminded that the Trident test takes place Friday and Saturday week, and all hands must parade. Cox J. Melville passed his first class Sea Scout test.

The Scout Badge. The original Tenderfoot badge was a registered design, but the registration became obsolete at the end of 15 years and could not be renewed, the patent office refusing to accept any further alteration of the badge as a registered design. It was found possible under the Chartered Associations (protection of names and uniforms) Act, to get the badge protected in perpetuity as against improper use. It was not, however, feasible to protect the badge from improper manufacture and sale. The committee of the council deemed it essential that the badge should be fully protected, and it therefore became necessary to add to the badge the registered trade mark, "Boy Scouts." The new badge is therefore fully protected.—The Scouter.

"Good Turns and Badges." The following has been contributed by a ficouter; Michael will always be pleased to give space to contributions on any subject by any Scouters who care to submit work. I think I can hear one or two saying to themselves: "What on earth have good turns to do with badges?" Well, if you feel like that, I advise you to read this and try and find out, because you are missing a lot.

There was a Scout in Hawke's Bay, with two years' service to his credit, and was the proud possessor of the carpenter, electrician and cyclist badges.

One day when he arrived home from school he heard from his mother that a neighbour of theirs who had bought an Alsatian puppy a month previous, found that the kennel she had bought was useless, as the dog had grown so big that it could not get in at the entrance, although the rest of the kennel was big enough. So Arthur asked his mother if she would let him go, as he felt sure he could soon put the matter right. He got together the necessary tools and went post-haste to Mrs. Brown's, who was very grateful to him, when in about 20 minutes lie asked her to come and see how easily the dog went in and out of his kennel.

Another day he heard from a school friend, who lived in a street nearby, that his parents were having difficulty wit-i their electric bell system. So on the evening of the next Saturday we find Arthur and his pal having the time of their lives finding out where the trouble lay. When the trouble was located and put in order, the boy's parents asked Arthur where he picked up his general knowledge, and, of course, he told them about Scouting, and in the end he found he had another recruit for his troop!

You see badges in the main represent knowledge in theory and what is wanted to balance that is practical experience. If you can get this experience, and at the same time have the pleasure of doin<» people a good turn, I say you are a very lucky boy!—"Ngapuhi."