STAGE JOTTINGS.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 267, 10 November 1928, Page 2 (Supplement)

STAGE JOTTINGS.

Miss Madge Titheradge, who was married recently to a wealthy American widower, Edgar Park, has announced her permanent retirement from the stage. Her sister, Lily, is a member of Miss Margaret Bannerman's company,' which is now in Wellington. '•

London theatregoers rejoiced at the news that Miss Binnie Hale would return in a new musical show, for she is, perhaps, the most gifted young actress on the lighter stage. • The new production, "Mr. Cinders," was given a run through the provinces before being presented in the West End.

Miss Isobel Jeans, who, by the way, is another, stage star who has turned her attentions to the more profitable screen, work, flatly accuses the censor "of being really responsible for the deplorable state of affairs'in the British theatre. I blamej"she says, "our censorship, wMck. insists on keeping our stage .fit; for'-.what it calls 'young people,' and consequently unfit for adults.",

?! A cable; from Sydney has resulted in the sudden termination of the return tour of the Fuller-Gonsalez Italian Grand Opera Company. :■'■; The scheduled return tour of the North Island and the return visit to Auckland- have had to be cancelled, as the company is wanted in Aus-; tralia. ;. The members will sail from Wellington next-Friday by the Uliniaroa. The seasons played in Christchurch and Wellington were, also shortened.

The stage of the London Coliseum Theatre has been' used for many' novel purposes; a tennis court has been marked on it and matches played, and a rodeo and terrier racing have also been seen there.. The latest sport to be represented on this stage is "aero polo," for which tie stage is covered with matting. The ball,' made of aeroplane fabric, is eighteen inches in diameter. The players, who are four in number, are mounted on polo ponies. The ball is scooped into nets suspended in the .air. . :

Mr. Lance Fairfax, who visited New Zealand some time ago with Mr. James Hay and Miss Strella Wilson in the company which played Gilbert and Sullivan, and who plays "The. Red Shadow" in the current production of "The Desert Song" in Melbourne, has a distinguished military record. Born in Wellington, he joined the mounted rifles, and when only seventeen passed for a commissioi.. During the war he served with the N.Z

Mounted Rifles in Egypt and France, and from' April, 1916, was attached to the : infantry. He was mentioned in Sir Douglas Haig's. dispatches and was decorated with the M.C. by the King at Buckingham Palace. "The Desert Seng," it is predicted, will surpass in popularity the record-holding "Rose' Marie."

The committee of the Auckland Little Theatre Society has.decided that for the. final offering of the season, a triple bill will be presented. "The Boy Comes Home," by A. A. Milne, "Maid of Prance," •by Harold Brighouse, and "Danger," by Richard Hughes, will be staged. Noverniber 28, 29, and 30, and December 1 are the • dates fixed for these plays. It will be ';remembered that when the society presented its subscribers and .supporters a Isimilar offering last year, it proved most Many members'are of • an ■opinion that Sir James Barrie's "The ,01d Lady, Shows Her Medals," was the. jmost popular of last year's productions. 'There is no doubt that the one-act play is to-day an exceedingly' successful part of:;the drama, and repertory circles throughout the Empire are giving their patrons more and more of this class" of ,work. .

] A. G. Astor, the' English ventriloquist, jwho recently performed for the King, jtells this story: —Once on a railway journey he was taking with him a small terrier dog. He was late in reaching the- station, and, having just time to scramble on the train, forgot to take a ticket for the dog. ■When',' a few stations further on, he heard N the cry: "All tickets ready!" he dropped the dog into a dress-basket containing some,of his props and labelled: "A, C. Astor, Veritriloquist." Just as" the ticket inspector opened the door the' dog started . to bark furiously. "That's done • it," thought the artist, arid began fuinbling in his pocket for some silver. But the inspector had read the name'on the basket, and having collected Mr. Astor's ticket, moved on. clever, Mr. Astor," he remarked as he went. "Very' clever, indeed; but you can't' fool me. The trick's been played on me before." '"''

: The, story of "On Approval," Frederick Lonsdale's ' play, which was staged for the first time in Australia at the New Comedy Theatre, Melbourne, on October 20, is aptly summed up in its title. As a means of arriving at a just estimate of each' other's qualifications for married life, Mrs. Wislack, a widow, suggests that-she and her timid admirer, Richard Halton, .should spend three weeks together in a lonely spot in Scotland. The sameidea occurs to the. Duke of Bristol, a bankrupt peer, and Helen Hayle, a young but clever girl, who quickly.follow. Three weeks' close association between, the two couples brings about a situation that.is not solved until the most humorous and diverting incidents have been enacted, ri-. - ;

"There is a vogue in the ■ mystery .drama just;, now," says Mr. Maurice Moscovitch. "This is not"-. confined to New Zealand and Australia; it is. worldwide. ,:- In , pities like Copenhagen? and Berlin, where -the. standard/of' culture is perhaps higher than anywhere else in Europe, the big theatres, are ..staging melodrama. However, I would point out that it is-more difficult to''put over' a mystery drama than most people would; imagine. It must'be..suitablyj cast and skilfully .handled," ." - '-' - . * . " • f., •

The prize this week goes to Mrs. F. C. Hunt, care of Wiri Station, for:- . A YOUNG. GRANT. A young man who.was deacon in his home church was; going to town and was asked to purchase a new sign for the front of' the.church. He copied the motto and dimensions of the sign, but when he arrived in town the paper was nowhere to be found. . Thinking he had left it, at home he wired his wife,. "Send motto and dimensions." An hour later a message came over the wire and the young lady clerk who knew nothing of the first wire, fainted.. The' message she had just taken, read: "Unto us is born a child six feet long and two feet wide. NOT "WHAT SHE MEANT. Fellow Railway. Passenger (to Scot who is' just about to take a nip from a flask: Excuse me, you are making a great mistake. I am 65 and have never tasted a drop of whisky! Scot: Don't you worry! You are not going to start now! K

SHOCKING. Alice: What an awfully rude girl Minnie Thompson is! Maud: Indeed! I never noticed it. Alice: Just think—after ■ she had passed me in. the street this afternoon, I actually caught, her looking back at me four times. Maud: Oh, my how awful! -; SHUSH!. Doctor: Well, Giles, how do you feel to-day? ' ••■ ■ . ' ■ Giles: Very had, indeed, doctor. I wish providence would he merciful and take me." '• . .'.,-.' Mrs. Giles: S'sh, John. How can you expect if you don't take the doctor's medicine? ' ■ ■ •• •• LIKELY TO GET EVEN; Old 'Friend: What became of that beautiful full-length portrait of yourself and your first husband? Mrs. Twotimes: It is hidden away in the garret. My second husband " has never seen it. yet. I'm keeping it for a surprise. . . ' ' '."A surprise? "Yes. If he ever again gives me a shilling bottle of perfumery for a Christmas present, I'll give him" that painting for a New Year's present. \~

REMEMBER OTHERS. An ambitious young man was. being instructed; at. his own request, by a pro; fessor of elocution, in the art of public speaking. .'.<■; ... •• \ ''■• .•'.. ..... ....-.....■; v; The.professor knew that his vanity far exceeded his ability, so he:gave him one last piece, ofladvice: a>; '•:•'■; : "When you have finished your lecture/ bow gracefully and leave the platform on tiptoe." ..-'.;'. .'.',*• '/,". "Why;on tiptoe?" queried the wouldbe orator.. .... ..' '■": "So as not to wake the audience," was the quiet reply. ' STUPID. The' magistrate frowned severely upon the prisoner in the dock. It'was the fifth time that the same lad had been before him on a charge of poaching.'' ■ ■ "Do ' you realise," ■ said the magistrate, turning to the boy's father, "that this' boy of yours has been before me far too' many times ? In fact, I'm tired of seeing him here." "Not half as tired as I am," said the man. "Then why don't you ■ take him in hand and show him the right way to go on?" demanded the magistrate. "I've shown him the right way," said the disgusted father, "but the young fool always gets caught." .' RULE OF THUMB. In Montana a railway bridge had been'destroyed by fire and it was necessary to replace it. The bridge engineer and his staff were ordered in haste to the place.' Two days later came the superintendent of the division. "- I' Alighting from his private car, he encountered an old master bridgebuilder. , . "Bill," said the superintendent—and the words quivered- with energy—"l want this job rushed. Every hour's delay costs the company money. Have you got the engineer's plans for the new bridge?" "I don't know," said the bridgebuilder, "whether the engineer 'has the picture drawed yet or not, but the .bridge is up and the trains is passin' over it." ■ '-'■' '-" ■'■'. ■

I Sandy: We'll toss up who. pays for, the drinks. If its heads you pay, Pat; :.''■: if its tails,.Bill pays, and if it stands' ;: on end; I pay. . .'- -. . • : '.../ , ...• ■ \*|j First cricket spectator: Fancy putting',:; on-a rotten bowler like that! > Second ditto (indignantly): Well,'.it's&£ as good as that battered old straw hat. .; of yours, any'day!. .^--; Gentleman: Why are you looking" so":. glum, sonny? ' ' ' , .' The boy: Fed up, that's what I am. V A I ain't got a football, ain't got no ona" | to biff, ain't even got a loose tooth to .' waggle! •■;'; .-•.-._ :_" . . . Wife: Oh, George, do you realise that ■ : it is almost a year since our. honeymoon :■'> and that glorious day we spent on the ' :: sands? I wonder how we'll spend this' one?. '■' '■• '.•" -:j,j Husband: On the rocks. - • _J .. "G°°d-bye, my' dear,", said he, rising !. from the breakfast table, "and if I'm : . •prevented' from coming home this even-■'■'••' ing I will send you a note:" - \ ■'■■:'■ "Oh, you needn't bother," replied she, ; 'Tve already fciken it out ,of your' pocket." ■ ■; - .'•: ■■■•■-?':£ Dorothy had been given, an orange by a friend, and had taken it without a / word of thanks. ,_".'.' •! :•:.- "What do you say, Dorothy?" asked..' her mother, reprovingly. • ...A. "Feel it," replied Dorothy, holding out,-/■ the orange to its donor.

"Mother, what does d —d stand for?" "Doctor of divinity, my dear; Don't 3 they teach you such things at school?" :"Oh, yes, but it doesn't sound right" here."; ' ;.'';';';' '.••',. '.' '■" '■" .'. '■.'-v''.; ■:• "Bead it out loud, dear."..: ..." "The witness said he heard the defendant say, 'I'll make' you suffer for this. I'll'be a. doctor of divinity if-1 don't.' "' A country statiqnmaster was doing his best to see that two of the vicarage ladies had a comfortable journey to London with a compartment to them- ; selves. . ' ' j .';: . As parting advice he said: "And when you stops at a station,'stand up, ma'am,. and put your face' out of the window, ,' Then nobody will getin." ;; • ' ■■'■ The electrician was puzzled. "Hi!" he called to his assistant, "put your hand on one of those wires." : The assistant did as he was told. "Feel anything?" - ■.-'-.;-< '."No." -■.- ■ ■ . .'■■-.. • "Good," said the electrician. .'I , wasn't sure which was' which. Don't touch the other or you'll drop : dead!"-' Parson: So-you know your Bible; Willy. Now tell me something that'i in it? " ; Willy: I can tell you everything that's - in it, sir. , Parson: Indeed? Well, tellme. " Willy: Well, there's a photo of Dora's young .man, and a look of my hair when I was a baby, and the ticket for paV watch, and— shall I go on, sir? The bride and bridegroom" were on their way to Italy for the honeymoon. They spent most of the time, during, the Channel crossing, leaning over the . side'of the boat watching the cool water. Suddenly the bride gave a shrill cry. One of the rings fell off her finger and was lost to sight beneath the waves. She was grea'Uy upset about the loss, but • nothing could 'be done. A day or two later the couple were sitting in their hotel, with two friends they had made. Fish was' served. What do you think they found in the fish. The ring? No,. bones! . - '. ' .'