Random Shots

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 261, 3 November 1928, Page 2 (Supplement)

Random Shots

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When the Dixieland baths are built, will a City Councillor be asked to open them?

Judging by the number of "votes of confidence" passed in the last fortnight, New Zealanders are a very trusting people.

"As for the salary of £3500 a year, well, I don't like it,"' said Mr. Coates. He was referring, of course, to another man's salary.

"A boy's greatest and best friend is his mother," says Archbishop Averill. A boy usually recognises this after his father has said "No" to his request for a scooter,

An echo of the voice of Mussolini has been heard in Australia, through the mouth of the Italian Consul in Melbourne. Heavy shipments of castor oil are expected to arrive shortly.

Since the recent riots on the Australian wharves, the Government must be considering whether all Italian immigrants should not be compelled to use safety razors.

Another glimpse of the obviouß, this time from the weather report of a country paper. "Rain is probable and there are indications of electoral disturbances."

"We don't want the truth, we want facts," declared an interjector at a political meeting. I suppose he was of the class which doesn't want even the "true facts."

The swimming baths in Auckland were opened this week. This shatters the belief of some people that the City Council intended to keep the baths closed until just before the municipal elections.

A woman in Gisborne, after leaving a maternity home, was informed that she had the wrong baby with her. Many another mother, I understand, has been heard to say, on vexed occasions, that she "really couldn't be the mother of such a child!"

The,"Home Rule for Scotland" movement is gathering momentum. If the Scots have to fight for their objective as long a time as the Irish fought for theirs, the newspapers won't be short of news for several decades to come.

Red-haired people, instead of being lighters, are the victims of congenital inferiority complex, according to some scientists. It may be true, but why should the red-haired ones caret As long as other people credit them with abnormal energy and fighting ability, does the scientific classification count?

The influence of the full moon was made strikingly evident in. Auckland Harbour this (Tuesday) morning. It was one of the highest tides of the year." It should be mentioned that the .Prime Minister had spoken in Auckland the night before, but the tide of his oratory wasn't by any means in flood.

"... The promoters propose that Dannevirke shall be the Ijalf-way house' for aeroplanes making up the East Coast from Wellington to Hastings and Napier." Some people think all aeroplanes look crazy, but the worst of them can always find a safe asylum on the ground. This "half-way house" proposal seems extravagant.

"In the course of a speech at Caen, the Premier, M. Poincare, predicted that in the next six months some of the greatest post-war problems would come to the forefront." Some of us, until now, have felt sure that post-war problems were as far forward on the stage as they could be. In the next six months it seems they will be in danger of falling over into the orchestral pit.

"Every electorate," says a distinguished woman from Australia, should have two members, a man and a woman." The result might be a male party and a female party. The spectacle of the Government of the day, all women, being assailed by the male opposition would at least be novel. The Government, of course, would have the last word.

In their first innings against South Australia the Englishmen scored 528 runs. The Australians then scored 524. With the loss of only four wickets in their second innings the Englishmen scored 341 runs. Thus, in an unfinished match, 1393 runs were scored. The Test matches are to occupy six days! Perhaps it would be simpler to record such matches, as billiards matches are recorded. Make the objective, say, "5000 up." Then the scores might read: Australia, 3467; England, in play, 4621.

A DOMESTIC REBELLION.

Mrs. Elizabeth Young has been nominated as an Independent Labour candidate for the Wellington Central seat, but she will not have the support of her husband. He urges every working man and woman in the electorate to vote for her opponent on election day. The following lines have a general application:— My wife and I are very keen On politics. Just, what'l mean Is we "agree to disagree" At breakfast, dinner time and tea On who will get the major votes Say Holland, Joey Ward, or Coates. Of coarse I tolerantly say "Just have your own peculiar way, . But don't forget, in party strife You vote as If you were my wife." I know my wife's strong-minded—yet I wouldn't say a martinet; She keeps her eye on Parliament In manner quite intelligent, And long critiques of Hansard tell She studies up her subject well. Sometimes she doesn't see the light And then of course I put her right, Reminding her though fends are rife My word should satisfy my wife. She's capable in lots of ways (I mustn't give her too much praise), She nurses all the family ills; She regulates the current bills, - She runs the house, no doubt of that— She rules the commissariat; She is the boss—when troubles jar, We simply pass them oh to Ma. About the home, you bet your life, I never argue with my wife. But politics—that lofty theme, In which the man must be supremeAre just a bit too deep for her, And to my will she must defer; She's In her place when darning socks, The h. aband rules the ballot box. What's that you say? She's on the alate 4* in election candidate I All right! It's war! With bomb and knife! Hey. voters! Don't support my wife!