THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 260, 2 November 1928, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

PRAYER. A song is such A lovely thing That we should try Each day to sing. For song can lift From hearts worn grey The aches that fret Life's hours away. If song of mine Such joy can bring, God, give me strength To sing—and sing ! JURY fOLLAKB TrXES.

The discussion in the family circle was about girls. It was agreed by all the adults that little girls are charming people, some mothers seeming to prefer THE CHILD MIND, them to boys mainly because* of the delight of dressing them beautifully. Present was a small boy of live years. He was asked, "And how would you like some dear little sisters?" And the budding AH Black stoutly replied: "Give me a pair of footballers!" " Dear M.A.T., —I see that someone has been making nasty remarks about members sleeping in Parliament. Good luck to them! I've fallen asleep there many times PARLIAMENTARY myself. It was funny SNOOZERS. once, though. The country members were raising a shindy about the low prices for agricultural products, and old Whiskers from Canto bury was declaiming bitterly that oats had only realised 1/8 per bushel. The Hon. Bar Gunn, a produce dealer, and consequently a great frequenter of auction marts, was fast asleep, but the crescendo tones of old Whiskers woke him as the speaker hysterically declaimed: "Oats 1/8 a bushel, gentlemen! Think of it— oats only 1/8 a bu«hel!" Up rose the snoozer, and, in a voice that shook the curls on the Speaker's wig, shouted: "Oats at 1/8 —I'll take the blooming lot!" That ended the sleep feast for that night.

British greengrocers have shot a bolt from the blue at the authorities, beseeching them to permit aeroplanes to transport vegetables. The Cabbage Express THE CABBAGE from Croydon is within EXPRESS, measurable distance. In a short time the Flying Chinaman may megaphone from the skies, "Stand from under!" and drop turnips at your back door, you having previously wirelessed to him for vegetable sustenance. You may well believe that the future of Avondale is in the air, that the city markets must have landing roofs for the vegetable mail, and that there will be air races from Birkenhead to get the first strawberry to the waiting mouths of the populace. We shall be less dependent on local produce, and thrilling news items will appear. "The tomato market is easy, a thousand cases having arrived by 'plane from the Islands this morning." Just imagine! Most of us can remember when the speed of the cabbage was measured by the speed of the Chinese with the baskets on a bamboo, or the doleful amble of the worn-out horse in thf vegetable cart.

Cabled that the Prime Minister, Mr. Bald* win, attended the centenary celebration of the "Spectator," saying handsome things about the hoary newspaper. As a AN matter of fact, there was OLD NEWSPAPER, a hoary old print of that name longer than 100 years ago. Here in" M.A.T.'s hand is the "Spectator" of Friday, July 16, 1714. An extract is reprinted to exemplify the method and wit of the day: "I was yesterday in a coffeehouse not far from the Royal Exchange, where I observed three persons in close conference over a pipe of tobacco; upon which, having filled one for my own use, I lighted it at the little wax candle that stood before them; and, after having thrown in two or three whiffs among them, sat down and made one of the company. I need not tell the reader that lighting a man's pipe at the same candle is looked upon among brother smokers as an overture to conversation. and friendship. As we here laid our heads together in a very amicable manner, being entrenched under a cloud of our own raising, I took up the last 'Spectator, , and, casting my eyes over it, 'The "Spectator", , says I, 'is very witty to-day. , Upon which a lusty, lethargic old gentleman, who sat at the upper end of the table, having gradually blown out of his mouth a great deal of smoke which he had been collecting for some time before, 'Ay, , says he, 'more witty than wise lam afraid. , His neighbour who sat at his right hand immediately coloured, and, being an angry politician, laid down his pipe with so niuea wrath that he broke it in the middle, and by this means furnished me with a tobacco stopper. I -4ook it up very sedately, and, looking him full in the face, made use of it from time to time all the while he was speaking. 'This fellow,' says he, can't for his life keep out of politics. Do you see how he abuses four great men here ?' I fixed my eye very attentively on the paper and asked if he meant those that were written in asterisks. 'Asterisks, , savs he, 'do you call them?—they are all stars. *He might as well have put garters to 'em!'" The "Spectator" was then printed for H. D. Symoiids, No. 20, Paternoster Row, and Barton and Harvey 55' Grace Church Street, London. '

A mine at Thames has closed down until more gold can be found on top to find more gold down under. The world is pitted with DEAD IOWHS. SftlSft ES££S , , . . creepy on earth than a dead mining town. M.A.T. knows one or two lou come across them in the wilderness overgrown with weeds and inhabited by snakes possums, kangaroos and an odd swagman with a, pick, dish and shovel, looking for the ''colours" that are not there, and living anion" the ghosts of departed miners. Mining machinery among the thistles and broken shops mostly gone for firewood years before. The town store, open to the air of heaven, with rats tor customers, and a lusty young tree growing out of the cock-eyed window The *"n f r ? - Shop and yard with the beef gallows still looking as if it was placed there for a last swing by the last malefactor. Over there under the gum tree the village lock-up still has three iron bars left—the rest have gone to make fireplaces for passing travellers. The i laughing jackass chortles from the roof of the decayed village church, the 'possum chuckles from the blacksmith's shop, the firebell has fallen to the ground. Wild flowers are growing round it. But the old fossicker fsl ? O "f,,- r< T d th , e B™™?"* muttering' •Wheie gold's been found, you'll find gold again. And some day the Moanataiari—?

Recently averred that two All Blacks wMe in Africa were put down for speeches at a complimentary dinner. The first rose twit r?u his feet « ■»>* "MrPRAYER WHiriTT "J*"™*?." got stage WHEEL, fright, thanked the audi-

4u m i t * » e l ce, and Bat down. The All Black who followed mentioned that he had Li^ m l B , pe f«!\ prep ' i r ed ' but the Preceding speaker had "taken the words out of hte Cl ?Y t ße f s " is f n * of the pious man who had a Met of texts hung up in hi ß bedroom. £vJ Z s X r? r ! nng he waved his hands towards the literature and exclaimed: "Oh f.ord, them's my sentiments!" This method is even simpler than that of the East, where the pious ones carry prayer wheels on which are printed all the orthodox orisons. The devotees sit with their legs croseed, turning the handle, thus performing many yards of prayer without strain to the voice or* the conscience Keen examination of party speeches at this moment suggest the prayer wheel—but not the niuselesa prayer wheeL