RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 255, 27 October 1928, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

BY ZAMIEL

The " Coates wave " of three years ago is now only a ripple.-

The strongest argument for making election campaigns less frequent is an election campaign.

When asked to discuss New Zealand's air defence system, Air-Marshal Sir John Salmond said the climate was wonderful and the scenery beautifully varied.

Tom Heeney left New Zealand on Wednesday. I wonder if he considered the political fight was becoming a bit too rough for him.

The Waitemata candidates' dispute over the paternity of the harbour bridge might well be postponed until the child is more robust.

"Hen-racing is the latest sport to take the public fancy in Cardiff." One difficulty, I understand, lies in separating the competitors from the silly old fowls who organise the races.

Under a new agreement the shearers' wages will be based on the price of wool. If the prices goes down, so will their wages. There is nothing in the agreement to say that the price of woollen clothing, too, shall go down.

The citrus growers are forming a Dominion-wide organisation. If any section or substratum of the community remains unorganised it is only because it hopes thereby to be singular.

In the list of the supplies and stores for thq Byrd Antarctic Expedition appear the names of such indispensables as cigarettes, tobacco, "candy," and chewing gum. I presume that ice cream will be manufactured on the spot.

The English cricketers' first match in Australia was drawn, and in it one of their players had his nose broken by a ball from a fast bowler. I trust/the Englishmen will not make the mistake of imagining they now have the measure of their opponents, or even that their noses are safe. They have yet to meet Mr. Gregory.

After hearing the Minister of Health address a meeting, one settler moved: "That we universally regret that the Reform party and Mr. Young are in touch With one another." No doubt Mr. Young is still wondering whether the settler's purpose was to express disapproval of him, or the Reform party.

The fashion among political candidates at the moment is to declare, in loud, ringing tones, that they are "no blind followers" of their respective leaders. I dare say the candidates did not'stress the excellence of their eyesight when they were seeking the party nominations.

The. Fisheries Department hopes for good results from its oyster experiments in Kaipara Harbour, where a 'longer spatting season" is • possible. On finding be-spatted oysters in the Dominion, Overseas -visitors will be more than ever convinced that New Zealand is "more English than England."

'"Scotchmen tirelessly chasing and trapping rabbits, and shipping their skind to San Francisco and Brooklyn, are Dunedin's daily bread of life. The whole town of 80,000 practically lives on rabbit skins." This item has been circulated by an American newspaper. Dunedin's opinion, no doubt, is that no skins need be sent to the Americans. They have plenty of "hide" -Iready.

It is small wonder that the. French Government's decision to levy entertainment tax on international tennis tournaments has evoked a protest. Looking at photographs of great tennis players in action, who would ever suspect, that they were connected in any way with entertainment ? Their expression usually indicates that they are awaiting the arrival of the body.

"As the result of slipping on an apple core, a youth was precipitated through one of the plate glass windows of a shop in East Street, Ashburton, on a recent evening. The pane had been in position 45 years. A large hole was made in the lower left-hand corner, and the remainder of the glass was badly cracked." Would it be an impertinence to ask what damage was done to the "youth?"

One of Australia's moneyed knights, after visiting the famous Newmarket racecourse in England, says "The whole thing was like a funeral." He proposes to end this condition of things, and to "create the spirit of carnival." It is understood that an enormous crowd is expected to watch the Aifstralian creating the carnival epirit among the English, and Hollywood interests have offered a colossal eifm for the film rights.

"E.A-" has to beg off this week and Captain Pintle kindly comes to light with some comment on the cable message about the man who says he has been to Mars. .

Perhaps it's quite true That Comaruru, Is a lovely young maid about twenty; And hefty withal, And p'raps six feet tall; But one of her kind would be plenty! One cannot deny That pigs, too, might fly If, like Martians, they are insistent; And get their own way Despite what folks say; T'would prove that the whole thing's consistent. Were I in condition,

T'would be my ambition To Blide down the halo round Saturn; Or perhaps ride a horse To Venus (of course). Or a Wanet of similar pattern! Of one thing I'm sure: If I conld secure An electrified, orchard of fruit trees, T'would simplify baching And scraping and scratching. And vitamin-searching were ease !

To which it may be added that clearly the women in Mars dp their hair/ differently from this world's style, and when "Julius Caesar" is played there the line "Lend me your ears" is by courtesy omitted. 1 Mr. Robertson's Martians, are certainly much more pleasant folk than the creatures of Mr. Wells' imagination. These, you may remember, were all brain, and when they came to this world they possessed a death-dealing ray against which nothing could stand. Very soon, however, our hacteria finished them off. They hadn't thought of that. It is like clever people ito forget these things.. , „ ,