THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 247, 18 October 1928, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

TOO OLD AT SIXTY?

Forty-five applications were received for I the position of advisory inspector to the Auck- | land Education Board. Several were eliminated because of their age. Are we downhearted ?. Are we. then, too old To teach the young Idea how to shoot? Shall ancient dominies all get the sack. In vulgar parlance, do we get the boot? Cheer up, old scout. weH qualify by age For a good Job —it never is too late— In ten years' time well each be old enough To be a Parliamentary candidate. The Voluntary Hospitals Commission at Home suggests that motorists shall pay a small premium for the upkeep of hospitals. The point til* commission MOTORMORT. makes % that the heavy burdsa put on hospitals by motorists falls on the general public, who are taxed to provide hospital care for those of small means. Gentleman who has had long experience both as a pedestrian and a motorist remarks: "Most iniquitous suggestion! You can't expect motorists to pay for the upkeep of hospitals and provide the patients as well!"

Various literary and other devices are used in various towns throughout the world in an endeavour to warn people to desist from conflict- with motor cars. 'WARE CASS! A board school competition for a suitable warning was lately won by a small English girl of ten years: Keep your eyes open where'er yon may roam. The infirmary is all right. But there's no place like home. This one is not bad: " > Drive slowly, see our lovely town, For beauty does not pall,. Drive fast and run each other down. And see our hospital. This from Los Angela** Scorch here, you'll scorch hereafter, too. ,„High speed a low conduct—very— If hearses be too slow for you, Drive to the cemetery!

What a quaint thing is politics! Yesterday a man was a kind father, s good husband, a worthy citizen. You have known him all your

life. To-day you find that INS AlfD OUTS, he is Blue. You are Yellow

and you know that man for an infamous scoundrel who is merely on the political stage to sip the sweets of office and to rob'the widow and the fatherless. Yesterday a man's whole existence had been spent in nailing down a weekly wage and Inniring after the family, wondering if there would be enough left to pay the piano mortgage or the gas stove instalment. To-morrow he Is a candidate for Parliamentary honours "»«* he juggles in millions. He knows more about the Consolidated Fund, old age .pensions and the Public Trust than anybody. Sometimes he adds a couple of noughts to the millions, but it doesn't matter. Send him to Parliament and he promises vital alterations, financial marvels, peace, happiness and prosperity. In effect, when he gets there (if he does so) he is merely a vote, and, if he is Blue and you are Yellow, a scoundrel to boot. If you are Green and the Pink party is in the —dHlg ruin stares the country in the face. The conntry las been going to the dogs since your particular party ruled it. In - the-meantime the rain raineth on the Blue and the Pink and the Yellow and the Bed, and the grass grows and the cows produce heifer calves, John Bull regards New Zealand as a suitable investment, and the vast majority toil more with their hands than with their tongues. MJLT. has an old-fashioned idea that a good man is worth a place in Parliament whether he be Blue or Magenta. It would be quaint for a business concern to be run on party lines, one party trying hard to upset the board of directors, urging that the last twenty-five-per-cent dividend was a wicked shame.

At this particular time of the year twentynine years ago New Zealand was in a belligerent mood, and Mr. Seddon said then (or

a little later) that New GERM OP Zealand would send the AN ARMY, last man and spend the

last shilling to help Mr. Bull to win the war. He sent two hundred and fourteen officers, non-coms. men, together with their horses, to stem the tide in Africa. In October, 1899, Auckland people thought a great deal of this. The first man joined on October 5, and the whole box and dice were on the foaming deep bv Trafalgar Day, October 21. Remembered "with some clearness that a small parcel of" men wearimr Pied Piper of Hanielin gear (there were recruits from various local volunteer units) shipped by the Rotoiti to go to Wellington. An old volunteer doctor (believe he ranked surgeon-genend" of the forces) mentioned: They are the finest lives Fve ever examined." •Now that New Zealand has been inured to war, it is impossible to give the young people an idea of the enthusiasm of the public generally at that time. Colonels rushed about pushes "Vf? 8 in ., the ™»*tcoat to make them Jf 'i. who wished to see £« own chances (and Buckley's) One old gentleman, crowned with a silk hat, struggled valiantly on the Auckland railway station to get to his boy. The bov, whose bones are in South Africa, was standing looking f * window. The enthusiastic and kindly crowd passed the old gentleman hat and all over the heads of the wowd, and young Keith was made happy. It may be of interest that an Auckland bov who underwent many nasty experiences and emerged unscathed many years atterwaids met his death through a sporting gun accident. The youngest of St"^ C ! C 1 trcmblin Pr fear he might be too infantile, commanded a regiment m the Great War and commands a New Zealand district now.

| Mr. "Dolf" Eagleton, the evergreen raconteur, and ex-president of Rocky NookBowling Club, presented a loving cup to THE LOVTWr rm» th ®. Croquet Club, TUB LOVING CUP. which is affiliated. Some . innocent folk desired to ?o a nv CU fJ lefined '- aDd the donor in a I? vr nr e ? oun ex periencea of travel with the New Zealand bowlers, mentioning that such a cup has two handles, is filled with champa-ne or punch and passed from lip to lip. There ,S b Ba w be \ at Home * itb » lar-e membership of bowlers and croquet plaveA and the New Zealand bowlers were adequatelv entertained there the posing of theloving cup being part of the social amenity The cup came to a local player, who, as h, dutv bound, took a copious draught. Thereafter he gazed at the cup as it circled the banquet table, and inquired anxiously, 'Isn't it cominround again? His neighbour asked 'Still thirsty?" "Yes!" repKed the «Tm thirsty aU right, but what I want most of all is my false teeth. I dropped 'em in." j

CHAOTICS. Hope you have them, too! Rttppoouiinse Opportunities. Here's luck to your Uxanaidcetd.