THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 164, 13 July 1928, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

"I'm from Yorkshire. The harder you hit me the higher I bounce; Yorkshire people never give in when they have a good cause,'" declared Mrs. Watson, of TENACITY. St. Helier's, whose deter-

mination it is to get the Hauraki Gulf closed to trawling and seine netting. The sturily tenacity which the good lady has shown in the furtherance of her plan will strike a responsive chord in the bosoms of many. It might well have been a Yorksliireman instead of a Scotsman who wrote, "0 Lord, gie us a guid conceit o' ourselves!" but it's the right spirit when all's said and done. It was the same grim courage which kept the British squares solid at Waterloo and helped to hold Ypres during the darkest days of the war. More than twenty years apo George Hirst kept his end up through the final day of a hard-fought Test match at the Oval. Well does M.A.T. remember Jessop's meteoric innings which altered the aspect of the game and gave England a chance of victory. Fourteen runs were needed when Wilfred Rhodes came out of the pavilion to join his old colleague. Hirst walked to meet him and a few words passed between the pair. "Well fret 'em i' singles, Wilf," said George. And they got 'em i' singles, too!

Our Parliamentary representative is nothing if not candid. "Perhaps members are holding themselves in reserve for the

general elections in No"UNUTTERABLY veniber," he says, "but, DULL." whatever the reason may be, the present session has, up till now, been unutterably dull." There is a touch of pathos in his remark that "those whose duty it is to dash off bright paragraphs are hoping for better things when the Address-in-Reply debate has run its dreary course, and some practical legislation occupies the attention of members." Poor lad! M.A.T. sends his deepest sympathy and prays forgiveness from the shade of Edgar Allan Poe for perpetrating: THE RAVEN DULNESS. Midway through a session dreary, while I wrestled weak and weary With the task of setting "copy" that would ornament page four: Suddenly I fell a-dozing, chin upon mv chest reposing. Till the world of news composing hel<J me in its toils no more And my tired soul was wafted to some distant, darksome shore. Ah, distinctly I remember it was months before November When the aspirants for honours on the Parliament'ry floor Would be blatantly beguiling the long eveninss by revilmj; B Their opponents in a manner that should make the mildest roar (Though of course the poor electors would have heard it all before). Deep into the darkness peering, long I waited wondering, fearing, ' Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. But the silence was unbroken and the darkness gave no token. And the only word there spoken was the whisper \\ hat a bore ! Such is life and nothing more.*' And the Raven Dulness (fitting) through the session still is sitting B " V t shore <le ° f Uncle Gortlon on the Parliament'ry A ° a ,hi,*rr*d^s„" s " "* °< * Mines—on my heart May legislation ? SOme cessation when start on Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"High church, high Toryism and old port for ever!" Lord Darling declared in the House of Lords that the best way to keep

DUCAL wicnnw rab . b * ts . in check was to uutAL WISDOM, maintain a good supply f ~ , . °f foxes, and the Marquis of Salisbury informed a waiting world that the Lords still know more about the land than any other assembly in creation. That's the spirit! Many a good farmer has had to leave because he did not share the squire's keenness for fox hunting, and many a bad farmer has been tolerated because he did. The feudal system dies hard, and in many parts of rural England it is still a case of "bless the squire and his relations, and keep us in our proper S ; f v Ze , aland has a lot to be thankful for when all's said and done.

Wirihama sends along a true story of the early days in Taranaki, those happy davs when, as our correspondent says, butter w'as "RFAIYV" fourpence a pound. Both RFCKYWmr ! Cttler ® and Maoris us ea RECKONING, to collect fungus. Hori , , , took a consignment to the local storekeeper and was duly paid. He joined his pals at the nearest "pub," and they all came to the conclusion that Hori had not been paid enough. They went in a body to the bookseller s and procured a ready reckoner thence to the store to point out that so many pounds of fungus at so much a pound represented so much money, and they had received less The storekeeper heard them out, looked at their ready reckoner and showed them th* door, with the parting remark, "Get out— that is last year's reckoner." Hori and Co retired qu.te satisfied. "The storekeeper told Z% r Z t7 r't "^" hihama -" "so it must aT storekeeper is now a capitalist incident!" F1 aU ° P ro ? r since the

To-day is Friday the thirteenth, and bv a curious coincidence, it is the third occasion this v car on which a Friday has fallen on A riTvwnar» J he " unlu <*7" date. We A CAL ENDAR h a d Friday, January 13. CUKIOSITY. and Jnday, April 13. fl , , , Whether this is a mere ?"j C ' or ( whether the recurrence of Fridays and thirteenths can be accurately forecasted is beyond M.A.T.'s noil-mathematical brain. He is far more interested in furthering the cause of his pet organisation—"The Societv for the .Establishment of Two Fridays Each Week " Pay envelopes would, of course, arrive automatically! CHAOTICS. « The complicated-looking Tnecfi Xia g m was solved in Magnificent "\E GV' SoVeral readers " The answer to Get Gas Ring is what gas bills often are. THOUGHTS FOR TO-DAY. Time is precious beyond nrioe' Present—like an arrow flies; Pant—forgotten, fades and dies: t uture all in darkness lies • 1 lme is precious beyond price ! —From, the Chinese. • « al ™ in ar ? uin g, for fierceness makes error a fault and truth discourtesy.—Herbert • • • .' Tis the privilege of friendship to talk cKeTil"„V° h ' ve her " ons ™" • ♦ • Whatever people may say t*eniu« is gentle and full of tenderness. if' is clearness which belongs perhaps to the children of this world. Some very dull and sad people have genius though the world may not count it as such; a genius for love, or for patience, or for prayer maybe. We know the Divine spark is here and there in this world; who shall say under what manifestation or humble disguise"? Mmb Thackeray. - »«««..