GOOD OLD JACK TAR!

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 141, 16 June 1928, Page 16 (Supplement)

GOOD OLD JACK TAR!

YARNS OF THE NAVY. In August, 1914, the enlisting centres at naval bases were besieged by compositors, jew's-harp makers, mortuary attendants, match dippers, clerical ro:>e makers, pedicurists, theatre "chuckersout," and dairy farmers, all anxious to join the Royal Navy. One commander gave a gasp of relief when a recruit said that he was a painter. The "painter" was set to work upon a gun-shield immediately. Late that afternoon the commander went to see how he was progressing, but all he saw was a post-impressionist sunset painted upon the gun-shield. "Painter!" thundered the commander. "Painter, did you say? What in heaven's name was the painting job you did before the war?" "Well, sir," said the man, "I—er—or — well, I generally used to exhibit at the Royal Academy!" Q boats and U-boats. In the early days of the war a U-boat fired a torpedo at a British munitions boat in the North Sea. The ship was beginning to sink when the U-boat came to the surface and proceeded to shell her victim at close range. The very first shell exploded the of ammunition. On the deck of the boat wag a three-ton lorry, which the explosion hurled into the air to crash into the hull of the submarine, which sank out of hand. There used to be much conjecture about the nature of the British "my <- terv" ships or "Q" boats —old tramps, sailing ships and other "harmless" craft. It was known they were carrying heavy guns and torpedo tubes, but not how they managed it. So carefully were guns and ammunition concealed that even naval officers inspecting could nut detect their presence. The funnels of the ship miprlit l>e doing duty as periscopes in addition to their own jobs. Stove pipes in officers cabins would be speaking tubes, and a roil of wire hawser would be an observation post. All si'"ors manning these ships were trained in the art of rushing over the side of the boat in "panic parties," to draw the enemy to close quarters. Stratagems such as these had to be adopted because the enemy ships would not fight. Stout Fellow. A tramp steamer had been sunk by a U-boat in the usual way. The captain and his small crew put to sea in a small rowing boat, but the submarine swooped down upon it and demanded the captain as "prisoner of war."

A few hearty handshakes, and the skipper clambered aboard, to be ordered below instantly. He hoisted a leg over the conning tower to obey. The conning tower was not very big—certainly not big enough for the "old man," for he was "a man of parts." He could not get through the opening. Three men below tugged at his legs and the commander of the U-boat sat on his head, but they could not get him below. Reluctantly they had to give up their job. The little British boat returned, picked up the "old man," gave a hearty cheer, and left. The "appetite of the Navy" is stupendous. There is the story of the able seaman who "dropped his anchor" in a Farringdon Road eating house, and asked the girl what was for dinner. "There's roast pork," said the girl, "and roast beef, boiled leg o' mutton, sausage-and-masli. and faggots." "Aye," said the A.8., "that'll do fine — and a. cup of coffee." _