TO RAISE A SMILE.

Auckland Star, Volume LIX, Issue 32, 8 February 1928, Page 18

TO RAISE A SMILE.

(Sent in by Thomas McLean.)

Mother (to Bobby) : Surely you did something else but eat at the school treat ?

Bobby: Yes, mummie, after tea we sang a hymn called "We can sing, full though we be."

Mother learned later that the hymn selected had been "Weak and sinful though we be."

There once were three men in a boat, Who travelled to places remote. They met with a whale, Who up with his tail, And shovelled them all down his throat.

At a station on which my father worked a new chum came looking for work. The manager asked him what he could do. "Do?" he said, "Why I can do everything." "Well then," said the manager, "Go and put the horse in the cart." The "chum" was away about an hour when he came running to the manager. "P-please sir," he stuttered, "the 'orse won't go in!" He had been trying to persuade the "'orse" to get up into the cart!

Jack: Do you thing I'm a very good bov, mummie?

Mummie: Yes, dear, a very good boy. Jack: Then why do you keep the pantry door locked?

(Sent in by Ivan Day.)

A Dentist: Teeth extracted with great pains.

A Butcher: Beef is very high. Our prices are the same. A Greengrocer: Don't go elsewhere to be robbed; try us.

(Sent in by Jean Maxwell.)

Bobby Bunny: "They say fish go in schools."

Uncle Bruin: "Well as- I have not caught any I think they must be playing trunant."

Bobby: One of your bees stung me. What are you going to do about it?" Mr.'Bear: "Tell me which one it was and I'll punish it severely."