THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LVIII, Issue 226, 24 September 1927, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.) Mac is an ardent amateur gardener. Last year he issued a challenge to the slugs and saved eightpence for the season by growing hie own vegetables. Last MAC'S PEAS, year the peas didn't do too well. Apparently he treated every pea as a post and sank it well in the ground. This year he sought expert advice. The gardener to whom he went said, "Don't plant peas deeply, the land has been too sodden. Just mark out a line, lay the peas on the top of the earth and sprinkle them lightly with soil." "11l do it," said Mac, and kept his word. Yesterday he met the expert. "Peas up!" he asked. "Yes," said Mac, "every one of them!" "That's tip-top," said the expert. "I told you so!" "Could you tell me," asked Mac, "how to get peas out of sparrows ?" PERSONALITIES OF, THE WEEK.

' Large, massive, confident, the member for tho Bay of Islands has lifted his voice wherever thero are people to hear. He has even used an aeroplane at times to MR. ALLEN BELL, avoid going to his constituents over the spokeshaved roads of the Winterlees North. When his silver tones are silent he reaches the remote persons in his paradise by the written word, for he is a newspaper proprietor of Kaitaia. Earlier, he was a commanding figure on a horse in a South African police corps, , and served in the Matabele War, carrying a rifle, too, in the Boer War. He earned the , title of colonel as O.C. the Waikato M.R. in 1904. ', EVERY MAN A BRICK. The rain it fell like N'oah's flood. The field was all awash. The B team Wasps played A team Bees Upon the verdant squash. Mire, clay and mud bedaubed their clothes Until you didn't know If Jones were Smith or Smith were Jones, They were bedraggled so. They wiped the clay out of their eyes Lpon the referee. Scooped gouts of mud from off their chests. And gazed through dirt to see A mud man dashing through the wave To get his side a try. But he was drowned in middle field. Xor dry was any eye: They downed each other in the pools, And when there was a scrum They skated round like men on Ice The barrackere were dumb They dug a fullback from a hole And scraped him with a board. And when the Zanibuke righted him I>ash me, the fellow scored! Just when the second half was on Both teams were caked with clay. Ana then the glorious sun came out Hot, scorching, burning day. It parched the streaming, muddy field It baked the paddock quick, ever y man in both those teams was a fair dinkum brick! t-n " B P Be f l fT , " J"ites: She was beautiful, tall and stately her aristocratic pallor tinged with just the faintest touch of red. SweetlyDARLTNr i part ? d Hps displayed DARLING! pearly teeth, the violet , eyes were partly concealed by curling lashes. One was inclined to wonder what expression they held, what depths of womanly tenderness lay there. Hauteur was apparent m the rounded, disdainful curve of her chin; that half-veiled gaze held pride. She W /!i. aC t USt J Omed ' 1 to the adoration of the herd, to envious glances and whispered comment. Admiration she accepted as her due let she was wax in the hands of one man—an insignificant creature this, with pale face and puny body. Even as I watched he touched the glossy waves of her hair and clasped one slender hand in his. Did she offer rebuke? Ao, she smiled on, with droopine, downcast gaze, looking with ineffable tenderness at the bald spot on his head. Half-supporting her against his shoulder, he rolled up the richlv embroidered sleeve, took the softly curving arm and screwed it into position. She wal indeed Max —a shop window model. ♦;«, ?° yal avy hasn,t been lick ed many times, but one of the worst thumpings it ever got was from a Scotsman off Flamborou<rh GREAT *rnT Head J n 1778 - Joh n P*ul UCJ&AT SCOT. was his name and Ameri™a v. iA , jx, ca his nation, and. when he settled there, for the sake of simplicity he became Paul Jones. He had been mate of a slaver, and he was as hard as wire from , toenails to topknot. When the War of Independence was on, Paul again went to sea and harried our ships in American waters. In hie sloop, the Ranger, the cheeky be ggar invaded England landed at Whitehaven and spiked the fort guns. He had formerly sailed as ft '"•» TOritehav™, and he knew t like the back of his hand. He led a charmed life and fought like a rattlesnake. He swent fou*ht a h im Th K fr P Drake Stuck to hi * «d fought him, but he towed her to Brest as a Eht J " hi 9. Bonhomme mILT£ fought Serapis and County of Scarborough shnt a hni an IIL Hi l Shi P heeled O™- With shot holes beneath the water line, but these SSwfiFT 1 T ith tOW - AU his cannons hS exploded bar two, and when the Bonhomme swung round till the bowsprit of the Serapis came across her poop Paul himself lashed the 5X and tried to board, Lo,™ • * I** ° f h,s 11 * the smoke, JW master gunner tried to strike his flag/but ti [ Srr r th P We lfl ShOt m * Jones ' French eo u ; sort, the Alliance, came up and fi-ed at , anything, knocking Jones about more thin { the Serapis. A hand grenade blew up th ! JnTrt r rC °* the Serai,iß > which e»nenSered ; and the Countess of Scarborough surrendered , to another of Jones' dilatory allies. Paul JoneJ handed Pearson (the captain of the Seraph? ; his sword for the plucky fight he made P He hated Englishmen because they called him a pirate. Anyway, he was a commodore i, the nevy American Navy, but he was a sailor of fortune, too and ten years later he became a ~-'-«»nural in the Russian Navy.