HARBOUR LIGHTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LVII, Issue 138, 12 June 1926, Page 11

HARBOUR LIGHTS.

HARRY DISCOURSES. SETTLING A STRIKE. i HOW IT IS DONE. (By S.S.E.) i The "twenty-fivc-to-niners" are in j session. A thick pall of tobacco smoke • eddies and swirls round the congested '■ space of the smoking cabin as the good ( ' ship "Seabird" reels off a steady eight ■ , knots to the hour. A spirit of peace i and contentment is in the air, and the . votaries of My Lady Nicotine are in 1 philosophic mood. ■ Alt" gives a fresh turn to the con- . versation by observing, with a sly wink Ito those about him. and a meaning ; glance in Harry's direction: "I see : they're unloading another ship-load of ' | Homics this morning.'' j I Harry preserves a dignified silence. ' j Alf goes on: "Dashed shame, the way ' all these people are kidded into com- ! ing out here, when there's not enough j work here for our own people, let alone ' [a few thousandimmigrants." ' Harry judicially removes his pipe and i surveys the speaker: "Well, it's for the j good of the Hempire. Things is not ' j 'arf bad in the Old Dart, with all these here miners on strike." I Alf (who originally hails from the ( other side of the Tasman Sea, and still 'preserves his native outspokenness): j "Not forgetting the lock-ont. and all your noble dukes that get a rake-off ] j from the mines." j Harry (pacifically): "Don't let us ; | get controversial. Things is real had j over there, strike or no strike." i Bob la seeker after information): j "What causes all these strikes. Harry;" I That worthy takes a few pulls at 1 his pipe, and his face assumes an air iof unutterable wisdom as he replies: "Well, it's like this here. There's Capital on this side (nudges the portly •Bert on his right) and Labour here (slyly digs Alf in the ribs with his I elbow). Mostly, they gets along all right, but sometimes they disagrees I like. So they 'aye wot tiiev calls a I round-the-taVe confidence. They puts the bosses—that's Capital —on one j side, and the miners—them's Labour— jon the other side, and they 'as a real , dinkum go ter sec who can talk the longest. "They 'as a ■ few spots in between , times, and the bosses sing 'God Save the King.' and the 'ornery jokers, wich is i Labour, sing 'The Bed Flag.' They calls that rattyfying the disagreement. j Then, when they wakes up next mornj ing with a sore head, the bosses I declare a lock-out, and the 'Enry Dubs goes on strike." i Bob (deeply interested): "And how jdo they fix things up again?"' I Harry: "Well, when they reckons j they've 'ad about enough, the Dook of North Cumberland comes erlong to the Union boss and sez, sez 'c: 'Say, 'Erb, what erbout a spot?' So off they goes and 'as a spot, and then they gets sorter conferential like. Says the Dook: 'This here strike ain't no" good. 'Er nibs, the Dookess, 'as 'ad ter pawn j 'er diamond tiarer, and she sez, sez I she. that if we doesn't settle this 'ere j strike instanter, its your 'umble servant what's going ter be locked out. Think of that, 'Erb,'. says the Dook, burstin' inter tears. 'locked oute ryer ouse and 'ome, and nary nowhere ter go.' And with that, 'c breaks down completely, j " 'Bear up, ole man.' says ther Union j boss, pattin' 'im gently on the shoulder. 'Yer ain't got it all on yer own. Between mc and yerself and ther pithead. I 'as mc trubbles, too. Mc old woman sez, sez she, that if we're goin' ter 'aye a strike, she's goin' ter 'ay e one, too, and I ain't 'ad a bite ter eat, barring a morsel o' cold wittles, fer days.' "And wiv that, they falls on one ernother's shoulder, and as them novel writers say, ther tears falls thick and fast ter discover that It hain't been all beer and skittles for either on them, and all the time the noospapers savin' that each side is determined ter conj tinue the fisht ter the bitter end. "When they've sorter pulled themI selves tergether again, the Union boss sez. sez 'c: 'Well, mc noble Dook, what erbout it?' And the Dook re- • plies: 'Strike mc pink. 'Erb, yer a sport.' So they shakes on it. and his nibs goes 'ome ter the hancestral castle. . j and tells the Dookess that the strike's I off. and 'er tiarer's saved, and ther ; i Union boss goes back to his little cot- , { and mops up the biggest feed 'es , I 'ad fer days. , I "That's wot they mean by settlin' a • strike." concludes the Diogenes of ; Ferrydom. "and ther old ladies are [ called strike-breakers, see? Yer can't • beat the wimmin ter straighten things . out when the men have made a mess .of it. As the miss : s often sez: 'Ther . hand that rules ihe cradle rocks the ; : fln.min' worll.' "