THE BEST MAN.

Auckland Star, Volume LVI, Issue 232, 1 October 1925, Page 10

THE BEST MAN.

GOAT OF THE WEDDING. KIS MANY TROUBLES. A FEW IMPRESSIONS, ißy WEDBAD. Some weeks ago I had the doubtful pleasure of acting as best man to a friend who had decided to enter married life. The whole experience, which was not without i;s humour, had a thrill that was ail its own. If actually not looked upon as the goat of the day. I certainly felt the part, bu: as everything weDt along wiihout a hitch. I flatter myself that I did nil that was expected of mc. A best man's troubles, if hi? duties may be classed as troubles, fortunately do not commence until a few days before the wedding date. It is his business to make certain arrangements. which, although they do not require any great amount of brain power to carry out. are likely to cause trouble if forgotten. In addition, h- ,a- to satisfy bin,self that his friend the bridesrroom has attended to all preliminary arrangements in connection with the cctc-monv.

The Day of Days. Wi;h the dawning of the wedding day a hc-\ man prepares himself for the worst. Unless he is fortunate enough to be a man of -mean?, without the need of earning his keep, he will doubtless ha-v c to make an ea-'y start with his busi-rie-s in order to obtain the necessary leave of absence. If the time of the wedding is half-past three in the afternoon he will probably not throw off his office eoai until an hour and a-half hefore that time. Then follows a dash to his home, an apology for a wash, and

a hasty dressing. Hot and bothered, he pins in his buttonhole and pulls on his gloves with a s:gh of relief. After a hasty examination of himself in front of a looking-glass he hurries to the home of the bridegroom. The last-named gentleman is usually pacing his room in a more or less excited state. Realising that his duties have begun in carne-i. the best man endeavours as best he can lo put the groom at his ease. Before the arrival of the taxi-cab which is to take the bridegroom to the church, the best man is handed the ring. i In my ca-se it was the first wedding ring I had ever seen at close quarter:-.. If not too excited, he thoughtfully removes everything from the pocket in which the ring is tc. be carried. A best man who pulls forth a length of string or upsets a collection of cigarette cards is not likely 10 be popular. During the drive to the church he will doubtless satisfy himself at least on one occasion that the precious ring has not escaped.

Heart Failure. By the time the church is reached ' the bridegroom and his best man are j both in a bad state of nerves The i impatient crowd is not reassuring, but ■ the business lias to be faced, and the pair take their places to await the arri--1 val of the bride. If the groom has suddenly become dumb and taken on a iook of stupidity it is for the best man to endeavour to buck him up. While whispering that il is fortunate that the weather has kept fine, or that the zoo ! attendants have caught the leopard, he j will again slip a shaky finger into his '• waistcoat pocket to make sure that the is still safe. The minutes seem ! like hours, and the apparent self-assu-rance of the best man soon fades away. and he longs for the day to end. But ! when the pair are almost asleep a shuffle at the back of the church stirs them to action. Unfortunately, however. ! ihe bridesmaid is the culprit, and the couple resign themselves to another wait. Follows a second shuffle, and this time there is no mistake, for the bride has arrived, and she is only twenty minjtes late.

Dodging Confetti. During the service all g-oe? well, the ring being handed over without a hitch. The little formalities in tbe vestry are also carried out in quick time and the best man take? hi? place at the side ot the bridesmaid tor their passage out of the church. Following in the wake of the bridal couple, the best man will probably receive a handful of confetti in the face, there being always some friend? of the bride who will make unsuccessful attempt? with long shot? from the back of the crowd. But confetti is preferable to rice grains and the ordeal proves to be les? terrnvmg than he had imagined.

At the photographer's the member? of the wedding party are in high spirits. They cheerfully submit to the instructions of the photographer and adopt all manner of unnatural attitudes in order to appear well in the picture. The complete group, the bride and her maid, the bride by herself, and of course the bridal couple are taken in varum? position?, but when the best man sugge?t? that he be taken alone he is promptly squashed. During the drive from ilie photographer's to fhe home oi the bride, the best man remem>>er? that he has neglected to pay the verger, but that fact doe? not cause him much worry. If speeehmaking i = included on the programme, the wedding breakfast i« an ordeal. Unless gifted with the power of eloquence the best man will usually mutter something which ha? nothing whatever to do with the toast he i.s proposing, and sit down wondering just what he has said. After that the atmosphere seems clearer and he ?et = himself out to make the best of what little time remains. Pot all good things come to an end and a wedding day is no exception. Although the experience of being a be?; man is a revelation to the man concerned he would seldom be?itste to go through the whole business again. Apparently he mu-t oxperienre the-e various emotion* and both feel and look ■a goat to live up to his reputation.