RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LVI, Issue 210, 5 September 1925, Page 22

RANDOM SHOTS

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Some write a neighbour's name to lash. Some write — vain thought — for needful cash. Some write to please the country clash And raise a din; For mc, an afni I never fash, I write for fun. A visiting musician says that jazz is merely a passing phase. The trouble is that it takes such an unconscionable time in passing. I Many peculiar things have been reported of the Rift's lately, but one of the most peculiar seems to be the habit they have formed of retreating forward. Questions arc being asked as to "what goes on" in Napier's motor cars at night that a local parson should be up in arms. Perhaps in those last three words applied to motor car occupants, I have unintentionally answered the question. The controversy on the settlement of ' European debts to America suggests that instead of hands across the sea we are now going to have palms across the sea. i Horace tells us of a man who sat down by a river bank and waited for the water to flow by in order that he might cross on dry land. This is somewhat like the action of City Councils and the Railway Department ill waiting for a reaction against motor traffic to set in. I I More Commercial Candour. —"£250 cash, going concern, 227 acres w|th 35 ' cows, one bull, two horses, six milk buck6ts, six cream cans, one separator. Walk in, walk out." The last sentence might have been written a little more , tactfully. j Scientists lately have beep trying to j depress us with stories of an impending ice age, and with finds of skulls 20,000 years old, showing that men of that age had brains quite as large as our own, and that we have not really made any advance. Now, a British scientist has asserted that the world's day was once only four hours long, and this will come as depressing news to those trade unionists who have been flattering themselves on their success in establishing an eight-hour day. The new Hawera hospital is to accommodate eighty patients. Its esti- • mated cost is equal to the sum of £1250 : for each patient. At this rate it is j possible to build a separate residence j for each patient, and so provide a group I of pleasant and convenient homes during periods when, as the authorities today report, "the health of the district is excellent." I can imagine a hospital colony (at this price) of really delightful hominess, with a pretty nurse.residing in each house and offering hospitality to the sick. *"•' Objection is raised to the fact that Mr. Shinwell, the new organiser of the Amalgamated Marine Workers' Union, is an East End clothes dealer, and was never connected with the sea. What of that? The career of the Right Hon. William Clh'e Bridgeman, First Lord of the Admiralty, Minister in Charge of His Majesty's Navy, as summarised in "Who's Who" contains no record of seamanship or sea interest. Stick close to your desk and never go to sea, And you all may be rulers of the King's Navee. And of a seaman's union also. A party of travellers obtained special reduced terms because of the size of the party. On the return journey some members of the party were missing, and full rates were then demanded. This reminds mc of the case in which a puppy in a basket travelled at a reduced rate, and, returning three days later, (in same basket), was charged ior as a dog. If all traffic and freight managers thought alike it would be a dull world. I once sent a rocking horse as a present to a child, and overheard a discussion between porters. "I don't i know. Bill. It ain't a cot, or a cycle, i or a pram. It's too big as a toy." Bill I strolled over and looked at the rocker, i "Have we a rate for swings, or is that ' under hammocks?" he asked. "I know-, he added, "put it in as furniture." And so I was charged. It seems to mc that a reduced party, taking up less room and less haulage, should have yet I further reduced rates. | The Mt. Albert house owner who I objected to the number 13 being attached to the building, got no satisfaction from the Borough Council, but j it is not necessary to be superstitious in | order to sympathise with him. He says j he lias very good grounds for believing that th* number 13 lessens the value J of his property, and there is sufficient ' superstition in the world to make his contention something more than ridiculous. Councillors thought that j they would lay themselves open to! ridicule if the request were granted, but I have read of house number series in which "13" was omitted and "12A" substituted. I admit that if in all \ numbering this superstition were ' humoured the results might be incoD- j venicnt. I have never heard of a footballer refusing to wear "13" on his jersey. Perhaps it is the fear of ridicule by the crowd that prevents "Number 13's" from insisting on wearing "12A." Apparently there are a number of New Zealanders who would like to own j the human bones that played so pro-1 minent a part in the Mouat trial in Christchurch. A queer world indeed. I If they were handed over they would | form a leading item in many a pleasant evening's entertainment. The owner • would produce them with pride for the edification of his guests, and possibly Mrs. Brown would say to her husband: "We're asked to the Smith's on Saturday. Shall we go?" "Oh, yes. Smith's got the Mouat bones, you know." There is, however, a precedent in high circles. In one of his books of gossip the late Mr. G. W. E. Russell tells how a piece of the vertebrae of Charles I. was taken from his coffin and passed into the possession of a famous doctor in theVictorian age. The doctor used to : cany it about and pass it round at! dinner parties, but eventually, I be- i lieve, it was solemnly restored to its j proper place. Russell made the com- j nient that he was glad this doctor died before he began to dine out in London society. j