MERRIER MOMENTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LV, Issue 188, 9 August 1924, Page 18

MERRIER MOMENTS.

io I come to av-e_is_ea r fc m& "t want a prescription, doctor r an t eat, can t plcen ejin'f * , * ;h0.,u0, hate golf! s^eaVt^ '•Propose to litr, my boy." A vouthfiil horseshoe pitcher Developed such a curve > The shoe came back and hit the youffl' Ilignt on the optic nerve. Blink: "The two hens I , ;oop have laid three emjs"' * one." v w Tom Noddy: "That Wottte eM'. looking as old u.s her mother." Mrs. Wot tie : "Did I hearitny nana Tom Noddy: "Yes; I was just say. ing that you looked a 3 young as yo i daughter. J Mrs. Biwn: "I admire Dr. Tobm immensely. Itc is so persevering in tie face of diflicultie* that he always reminds mc oi Patience sitting on a monument. ,, Mr. iiiov.ii: "Yes; hut what I am boromiiif,' nil her alarmed about is {]~ number of monuments sitting on hi« patients." The prisoner had been convicted t dozen time? lipfore. "Your worship," he said, "I ehonli like to have my case postponed for * ■week. My lawyer is ill." "But you were captured with your hand in this man's pocket. What can your counsel say in your defence!" ''Precisely so. your honor. That ij what I am curious to know." Mike: "Oi insured rneself, sure, an , when Oi die mc mother gits one hundred pounds." "An' what good will that da ye?" "VThoy. whin the ould lady dies, Oi'll get it all back. Oi'm her sole heir." Grumpy Diner (who has found fault with everything) : "Waiter, this bre»4 hai- got some sand in it." Waiter: "Yessir, that is to keep the butter froa slipping off."

Moderately Lucky. Wife: "How many fish did you catch!" Husband: "Oh, enough so I don't hay« to lie." No Quack. ! Mr. Bam: My daughter plays the piano entirely by ear. Mr. Bim: They say that Dr. Tlnaaedum is a specialist on all kinds of ear trouble. Husband's Eyes. I Mrs. Putit Frankly: My dear, most of the baby's features are yours witij out doubt,'but the eyes are your i"»J bands—their expression—that sort ol a mute appeal for help. There sno mistaking where it comes from. Plans Prepare!. "And have you any plans forth* future when your sentence expires? mj quired' a welfare worker of a. conncted i bU ''Oh, r 'ves, sir! I've got the ptaj I two joolers and a post office to ettft I with."

Still Going Strong. Mr. Alltalk was a very poor ■£•» and after his oratory had run on f« over an hour, some of ms audiefte » gan to leave. As one man dipped %f the doorway, another, who b* waited outside, asked hopefully. sufferer, grim* "Long ago; but he won't stop.

Leara It Over Again. mmm .I to sink in, and then added, 1» J u : aiid O thcrrchildi > sh voice from tota* :.o£ the room mi heard tc> «y. ■ you've forgot all you ever knoweo.