LAW COURT SPARKLETS.

Auckland Star, Volume LIV, Issue 299, 15 December 1923, Page 30

LAW COURT SPARKLETS.

North London man accused of assault: It is a case of the boot being on the other hand.

Prisoner at Ealing: When I went to look for work I took a jemmy and other workmen's tools.

Man in Shoreditch County Qpurt: We have become a race of Ananiaees since the Bent Act was passed. Question at Ealing: What do you work at? Woman: Nine children, sixteen hours a day and no holidays. Tottenham Magistrate: What caused all this trouble? Man: The usual thing. Two women started chin-wagging.

Wiltshire Magistrate: Do you reserve your defence? Deaf prisoner in a stage whisper to a warder: Deserve what?

Woman, in an aside after .being fined at Tottenham for attacking another woman: Fancy! Five shillings for hitting her! Nottinghamshire wife: My husband cannot read and he hit mc in the mouth because I would not read the comic paper to him.

Woman defendant at Walsall Police Court: I am a poor talker, gentlemen. The Clerk: You are an anomaly, then, for a woman.

A pedlar who was summoned at Enfield for insulting 'behaviour'tried to sell a bottle of scent and some face powder to a policeman.

Willesden wife: My husband offered mc ten shillings to cancel our marriage and told mc to clear out to make room for his brother.

Question at Ealing: Why do not you look after your donkeys? Man: Well, they behave themselves, are intelligent, and very honest.

'East London landlady: This woman is in "areas" with her rent. Tenant (majestically): Certainly not. lam on the middle floor.

Enfield woman: Our landlord is an optimist. He knocks at our door every Monday and always thinks that we are going to pay the rent. Sussex Magistrate, of a man in the dock: Does your.son behave himself at home? Woman, indignantly: Excuse mc, but he is not my son. He is my husband.

Question at Ealing: How do you know that she wanted to fight? Answer: Because she came out in her new hat with feathers in it and* rolled up her sleeves. As reason for a child's absence from school at Knottingley, Yorks., it was said that in the morning the child got up late and in the afternoon the dog had to be taken for a walk.

A novel illuminated gauntlet glove for motorists and traffic controllers has 'been invented. On the back of the glovu are two electrio lamps, one red, the other white. The red light is used by motorists when turning or stopping, and the white light is used for inspection, reading signposts, or maps. The battery ie carried in a email pocket on the outside of the gauntlet. On the inside of the thumb and 'two flngere aTe two metal contact points, and to light the lamps one simply closes the finger on the thumb.