RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LIV, Issue 293, 8 December 1923, Page 18

RANDOM SHOTS.

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Some write a neighbour's name to lash, Some write —vain thought—for needless cash, Some write to please the country clash And raise a din; For mc, au ai_ I never fash, I write fur fun. Just before, the elections the Rothcrmere Press swung round in support of the Liberals. It is reported that legislation will be framed to prevent a party being so handicapped. The request of the Dominion Road Ratepayers' Association that the Mt. Men Council, should pay its lawyer's bill, incurred in blocking the destructor proposal, ha* been the coolest thing in a particularly hot week. There seems to have been unusual activity at Wairakei this year. The visitor who was reported to have caught a fifteen-pound trout on Wednesday has not been the only fishel in those troubled waters.

I A witness in a country case during I tho week explained that he bought new clothes instead of having washing done. I have sometimes thought nivjeli' on getting clothes back from laundries that this might be a better plau. The Government Statistician reports that, contrary to the usual movement, there has been a migration from the North to the South Island. Perhaps they were only plumbers going back for their tools. The Fnscisti "shot tip" the house of Signor Nitti— an ex-Premier—because he had said unkind things about Italy. Just imagine what a time the "intelligentsia" of Kngland will have when Fascismo breaks out there. Bernard Shaw. H. G. Wells, and others had better get secret chambers ready. Mr. Massey told the people nf Londonderry that he did not like the way the election was heing conducted; the participants ought to rise above little party squabbles. As a result of this I foresee quite a substantial increase in emigration to New Zealand, that blessed land where there are no party squabbles.

"Impressed 'by the large amount of charitable and public work performed by a similar assotiation in West Australia, a meeting of Albury residents, professing to claim the necessary qualifications, decided to form an Ugly Men's Association." So said a message from Australia the other day. Why ugly men more than any other kind should consider they have a call to public service, I do not know, but 1 wish them well. There is nothing exceptional ugly; it is the lot of most men. .Many famous men— Socrates, Cromwell, Darwin, for example—have been as plain as can be. Ugliness is often an aid to virtue, for it discourages vanity. The "matinee idol" must find it "us difficult to be humihle as tlie rich man to enter tbe Kingdom of Heaven. Vet good looks in men are valued by women much less than is often supposed. Tbe Duo dc Richelieu, one of the most notorious gallants of the eighteenth century, whom women used to worship publicly and iv droves, was a singularly ugly man.

wish them well. There 13 nothing exceptional in*bein£ ttgly; it is the lot of most men. .Many famous men— Socrates, Cromwell, Darwin, for example—have been as plain as can lie. Ugliness is often an aid to virtue, for it. discourages vanity. The "matinee idol' , must find it "as difficult to be hiimihle as tlie rirh man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Vet good looks in men are valued by women much less than is often supposed. The Duo de Richelieu, one of the most notorious gallants of the eighteenth century, whom women used to worship publicly and in droves, was a sin<nilarly u"ly man. It is a coincidence that at the time Mr. Oliver Baldwin, son of the Conservative Prime Minister, was takinp th<? Übour platform in the British elections. Mr. A. A. Milne should have published his play "Success," in which a Cabinet Minister has a son who is actively a Socialist. 'Hie son writes an article in a Socialist paper attacking the Government, and the father is very angry. A 'bit of the dialogue runs thus:— Arthur: Well, it isn't my fnult that you're a Cabinet Minister. I happen to 'be a Socialist— Mannork: A Socialist! Arthur: Why not! Mnnnock (contemptuously): Why not! Have another clpnr? Have another glass ..f port? A Socialist: Look at yourself in the glass: Arthur: Well, yon can't hare It both ways. If I'm n poor, uneducated devil, yon say contemptuously "Of course you're a Socialist. You n-nnt my money." nnd if 1 happen to he well-off anrl educated rou Ray contemptuously, "You're a Socialist , r.ook ~t vmirself in the glass!- You can't have it both ways. However, the father oools down, remarks that many preat political geniuses have started in the wrong direction, and ma%es the boy his secretary. But Mannock is a poor type. Mr. Baldwin, one thinks, would never show respntment. however disappointed he might feel. Pro-bably he has all the more respect for a son who shows so much independence.

Mr. Charles Rhodes remarks on tbe I difference between the sociability of the I American and the unsociability of the Englishman. It is an old theme. Gilbert wrote one of his very best poems about | the two Englishmen who were ship- | wrecked on an island, but could not j speak to each other because they had not been introduced. This was especially I awkward for this reason. One man I could not eat turtle but liked oysters, and the other hated oysters but was fond of turtle, but unfortunately there were I only oysters on tbe turtle lover's part of j the island, and only turtle on the other I man's. The same idea occurs in one of j the few French books 1 "did"' at. school jof which 1 have any clear recollections, I "The King of the Mountains," by | Edniond About. A young German student travelling in Greece is raptured by brigands and held in company with a young Englishwoman. They are 'thrown together much in the shadow of a violent end, but when in Athens afterwards the young man greets the lady at a ball, she remarks frigidly that they have not been introduced. One would have thought the war would have made the English more sociable, but national habits are deeply rooted. Vet there must be something to be said for this aloofness. For one thing, it makes things difficult for the "confidence man," and perhaps American friendliness is largely responsible for the s : , v <■■■, that a "sucker" is born every minute in that gigantic boardinghouse, Mr. Rhodes' grim story about the clubman who told the waiter to remove the gentleman sitting next to him at table because he had been dead for two days, recalls the grimmest of tales about the old hard-drinking days of Scotland. A number of men were having a long night with the whisky, and after sojne hours the appearance of one of the drinkers aroused suspicion. "I!—'s been with Lis Maker these two boors." said a man sitting close by. "I saw him step awa', but I didna like to disturb glide company."