MERRIER MOMENTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LIV, Issue 59, 10 March 1923, Page 20

MERRIER MOMENTS.

"I'm surprised that Black should lend himself to any such scheme." "He didn't lend himself; he was bought." New Cook: What is the first thin_ you want mc to do? Mrs. Howard: Get through telling mc how lovely your last mistress was. She: "Will you marry mc?" He: "Yes, darling." (Long pause.) She: "Darling, why don't you say something?" He (gloomily) : "I've said too much already." She: How far can your ancestrj- bo traced ? He: Well, when my grandfather resigned his position .as cashier of a country bank they traced him as far as China, but he got away. Motorist: Yes. it took mc about sixweeks' hard work to learn to drive my machine. Pedestrian: And what did you get for your pains? Motorist: Linament. "What is an apprentice?" Johnny asked his father. "One bound to another to learn his trade or profession and make himself generally useful." "Then you're apprenticed to mother, aren't you, dad '!" said Johnny. Will: "Halloa, Henry: I got that crate of chickens you sent all right; but next time I wish you'd fasten them up more securely. Coming from the station I the wretched things got out. I spent hours scouring the neighbourhood, and then found only ten of them." Henry: "'S-s-sh! I only sent six"' SO PLATX SPOKEX. "What's the penalty for stealing a man's daughter?" 'Tlard labour for life." ORDER IN COURT. "Get the prisoner's name and then go and tell his mother." "Plaiz, y'r Honor, don't you think his mother knows his name?" CAN'T BE DONE. "That's all rot about marrying in haste and repenting at leisure." "Is it?" "Of course. A man never has any leisure after he is married." FATHER'S TASTE. Mrs. Shortley was discussing the latest fashions with a young lady caller. "Did you say your father was fond of those clinging gowns, May?" "Yes; he likes one to cling to mc for about three years." HOPELESS. "Young man, I'm surprised at you. You come from a good family—and when you took that watch—you knew it was wrong." "Sure your Honor, but it was only five minutes out, so why hesitate?" j DRILL, NIGHT. j Captain—"Right shoulder a-rmsl Left shoulder a-rms. Present a-rms! Right sho'der a-rms! Left sho'der a-r —"' Volunteer (putting rifle down)—" For Heaven's sake Captain—make up your mind." SHE MUST LIVE UP TO IT. Tho Nowly-Riches were seated in their handsome drawingJroom—Mrs. NewlyRich at the grand piano, laboriously picking out tunes with one ringer. "Hang it all, missus," said Mr. NewlyRich, impatiently, "if I buy you a piano that size I expect you to use both fist?"

I ON THE KAIPARA LINE. Railway Manager—Another farmer is suing us on account of his cows. Lawyer—Killed by our trains? Railway Manager—No; he complains that our passengers are leaning out of the windows and milking them as the trains go by. UNANIMOUS. j Times were hard for an old couple in I England so they wrote to their son in America: "If you don't help us wo will have to go to the poorhouse." Two weeks later they received a cable collect: "Make reservations for three. I'm joining you.'' AWKWARD. A new hall porter had been installed at a certain club, and one of the members eyed him curiously. At last lie ,6aid: "Your face seems very familiar. !l feel sure I've seen you before. Where were you before you took this situation?'' '•I was a prison warder, sir," was the disconcerting reply. DIDN'T FORGET. The employer had almost given up hope of his new office-boy, for lie seemed to remember nothing. One day he advised the boy to make a note of all the things he had to do in order to assist his memory. Happiness entered the breast of the employer as he saw the lad writing one day and afterwards observed him pin the paper on the wall. It was turned to despair, howover. when he read the words: "Knock off at five o'clock."

TO CORRESPONDENT:*. E.W.S (Huntlrl asks: (1) Can you suggest a remedy for suckers? We have a Lilac tree that Is throwing up hundreds. If 1 covered them nlth sacks would toot harm Hie tree? {2) We have a Weeping Asj about four years old. Some of the branches have no leaves this year; tney started to bud but did not continue to grow, and now seems to be dying, "c have some Cosmos growing clone to this tree: Is that the cause?—(l) 1 c:in suggest no remedy for suckers but tracing thorn down to the seat of origin at the root and cutting them away with a sharp knife. Covering with en-cks might not kill tne tree, hut It certainly would not kill the suckers. (2) The Cosmos Is not the cause of tho tree dying; there is sums other reason. Have n close Inspection, and expect yon will find borer is the cause of the trouble, if you nnd the hole, squirt In some benzine with a small oUfeeder and plug tlie hole with clay. Perhaps the roots of the tree are too dry. PASHY (Otahuhii) asks how to market a fairly large crop of Passion Fruit. My trouble is to obtain a quantity ripe at the one time. I was wondering if tiiey were cased while first turning colour they would be quite all rignt?—lf tbe fruits are gathered when turning colour they wlll he risjlit, but they must not be picked too green or they. will shrivel. I think you will flml that a little later on the fruits will cnioiu- up more quickly lv larger quantities. BEKRIKS .writes: "Your article re <Joose,borry pruulug was most opportune, as I was wanting Information on same. Can you tell mc the best time to plant cuttings, the best variety that would do well in l'apakura? A friend in tin- Walrarapa has offered to send some '••I'armerVs Glory" cuttings If 1 will let her know the best time, so will await your advice. —You cannot do better thau accept the cuttings of -Farmer's Glory." It is one of the most satisfactory sorts to grow. Ask your friend to let you havo them in April, which Is the best time to plant cuttings. SPICK (Papatoetoe) asks the following questions:—(l) I have a few old. untidy border Carnations from which I have taken some good cuttings which arc now ready for removal to their permsnent bed. Will the old plants bear transplanting, if 80, when should It be done? (2) 1 have a large orchard which requires to be summer pruned, also Climbing Roses, Ramblers, etc., needing attention. Can you tell mc where I could get proper Instruction to be my own pruner. or recommend anyone who would do the work for mc; (3) I have several violet borders made lust spring. Upon weeding them to-day I llnd a tremendous growth of runners and countless dull purplish berries underneath the leaves; seed pods, 1 suppose. The leaves are blotched with yellow and perforated. Is this Red Spider and Caterpillar? How should I treat them. Ought I to manure the piauts now? (4) I sowed Drompton stocks some months ago and until a week or two ago they were fine healthy plants. Something Is now attacking them badly, the leaves arc all perforated like the leaves of cabbages when bad with "fly." What can I do for Ihem aud wheu ought 1 to transplant the stocks into their flowering quarters? 11l The old plants can be moved, but I suonld not recommend you to do it. as with the young piauts at your disposal the old ones are not worth tho trouble. Pull them up and burn them aud you will hell) to keep your young plants clean. If you intend to move them it can be done nt any time now. when the weather and soil Is suitable. (2) Advice Is given on -summer pruning" In these columns, but I cannot tell you where you can o!>taln proper instruction. (3i The purplish berries are seed pods. Remove most of the runners, stir the soil round the plants and spray with Lime Sulphur solution, 1 part; water 73 parts. After cleaning and spraying the piauts give a light sprinkling of Nil rate of Soda, using about an ounce to two or three yards run of row. About three weeks later or after a shower has fallen, give about two ounces of superphosphate to the yard. Neither of these mauures should touch tho foliasc (41 The Stocks are attacked with "Cabbage Fly," it often occurs with early sown stocks in the summer time. Spray with Lime Sulphur Solution as recommended for the vloleis. Tho piauts should bo bedded out as soon as we get some dull favourable weather.

MII.mtED (New I.ynrl wilted—Could you tell tne the name of tlie grass enclosed. 1 found it. growing in my garden. It Is very pretty for urranping with cut (lowers. Will it.become a nuisance? (-) I have a I enion I roc that bns never fruited, although perfectly healthy in appearance. Thnuking ton for nil the valuable hints that we get every week. —The grass is Panicura capillarc. It is not a native, but is often sown for ornamental uses. It will not become n nuisance if you take ordinary care to keep it within bounds. (21 I cannot say why the I.cmon tree <\oen not bear, bnt I should think it is a socdliug. in which case it is probably of little value.

E.0.N.. Walhl'. sends plant for identification.—The plant is Srablosa Arvenris," au I introduced weed. It is harmless. j ROSES. Remuera. writes: i'li I intend to plant Roses In a double row in a plot about "2 feet lougr. My idea is to have red blooms in the centre shading through pink yellow apricot tv white at cither end. I Bluntest ibis would take about IS to 20 plants, p.s tbe back row would be dwarfs, and tbe trout row pegged down. Is such an arrangement suitable? 12) I enclose list of Roses that I think suitable. Can you lell mc if these are suitable, or if not. can you mention better ones? (.1) Is it to grow Kiitisfactoriiy in Auckland In a sunny sheltered position. Marech.il Niel and Fortune's Yellow Roses? The following is a list of varieties, those marked with a cross are for tbe front lino to be pegged down. Dark red section: Maharajah. rcßod Letter Day. Gloire de Chedane, * Gninnoisseau. xAvoca, Geo. Dickson, Bright red section : K. of X.. Col. Fitzgerald. Queen Alexandra. Muriel Dickson. Pink section: Mnrjorie WyUie. Coronation. Saclicngrus, xMod. Abel Chatenay. Cop

I per yellow: Duchess of Wellington, xMargaret D. Hamill, Lady Hilllngdon, Emma Wright. Cream: Mde. Autoine Marie, xWhite Manam Cochet. White: Edel, sFrau Karl Druschkl.—(l) Tour idea 1s all right, and it you wish to get a good display I should suggest you plant the back row about two feet apart and the front row three feet. Your only trouble will be the number of varieties you have. I think you would do better to reduce the varieties somewhat, .and have duplicates of some of the stronger growing varieties such as Frau Karl Druschkl, Geo. Dicksod Sachengrns, Duchess of Wellington, Lady Hilllngdon, Avoca, Red Letter Day, Coronation. Tho varieties, however, are all good, and could be used effectively. The varieties Marecaal Niel nnd Fortunes Yellow will do In Auckland. PARSLEY. Parsley is usually somewhat slow to germinate, and should be sown In fairly firm soil. It makes a good edging along the side of a garden path. The drill should be about one inch deep, and the seed thinly gown. As soon as the plants are "fit to handle they should be thinned out nt least sjx inches apart. CARROTS POR WINTER USE. If a supply of tender young Carrots are wanted for use during winter, a sowing of a stump-rooted variety must be put in now. Ground just cleared of Potatoes will be in good condition for the seed. All that need be done is to well work the soil to the depth of about four inches with a fork. A slight dusting of superphosphate is all the manure necessary. Sow in shallow drills, a foot apart, and if the soil be dry give it a good soaking the evening before the drills are drawn out. Keep the beds well stirred with the hoe after the seedlings show. If the seed be thinlysown little or no thinning will be needed. CELERY AMD LEEKS. The earliest planted will now be well established and advanced in growth. The rows will require frequently looking over and weeding, as the * liberal amounts of manure required to grow good celery naturally results in abundant crops of weeds, and it needs frequent weeding to prevent the plants being checked in their growth. The earthing up, however, should be delayed until the plants are well advanced, as there is always a risk of the centres rotting if earthed up before the plants are well furnished with plenty of good, healthy foliage. By earthing up too early root action is, to some extent, [ checked, as the body of earth drawn up Ito the plants deprives the roots of the I sun and warmth so essential to healthy growth. Leeks, too, are now making rapid headway. The earthing up o* these, too, should lie deferred until the plants are well advanced in growth. ONIONS. In the matter of growing onions, one meets with men who, although they may hold divergent views in respect to minor details, agree in general practice that to produce onions of quality the following rules should be observed:— (1) The plants must have the advantage of a long season of growth. (2) The ground must be prepared in tho autumn by deep digging. (.1) Well manured soil is essential for large bulbs. (4) A sunny, open situation is needed. Tho conditions set forth as above are those which) men of the "old school" have long followed, but there is yet another regulation which is always recommended and practised. It is bringing the surface of the bed into a line tilth by raking, making it level and, what lias belong tradition been recognised as absolutely essential, in rendering it firm before either sowing or planting is j' carried out.

TOMATOES. — ..dmber of plants will now be discarded, and the few remaining bunches of green fruit gathered and placed on a shelf to ripen. Those in full bearing must be well supplied with water and the roots given a sprinkling of artificial manure every fortnight. Continue to remove all side growths. TOMATO BLOSSOM-END ROT, OR BLACK SPOT. In "Phytopathology," C. Brooks writes: "This rot is well known, and is characterised by the appearance of a blackish spot near the style when the fruit is one-half to two-thirds grown, which rapidly increases in size, finally spreading deep into the fruit tissue. The affected tissue becomes black, hard, and leathery, and the tomato much flattened. The disease thus characterised appears to be common 'Black Spot* of Tomatoes, too well known." CHRYSANTHEMUM RUST AND CELERY FLY. A correspondent writing to "The Gardener" says:—As one of your readers. I am sending you a hint describing how to destroy Celery fly and rust on Chrysanthemums. My plants were badly attacked this year, and I have successfully dressed them with 1 pint of gas tar dissolved in three gallons of water and strained off. They are now doing well. BUDDING ROSES. Those who are budding to form Weeping Standards, should put the buds in upside down. The shoot at once grows downward, and the effect is much more satisfactory. LIMNANTHES DOUGLASI. Only six inches high, yet a plant of striking merit, first because it is one of the hardiest of all annuals; secondly, because its flowers are fragrant. Its blooms are of yellow and white. Still another recommendation: It is a flower that bees love to visit. COREOPSIS DRUMMONDIX. If the seed of this perennial is sown now the plants will be a nice size for planting in early spring, and will give a wealth of bloom next summer. Coreopsis Drummondii is one of the showiest of summer blooming annuals. It is one of the best border plants, and is of great value as a cut flower, their long, slender stems rendering them especially useful in this direction. The plant grows about eighteen inches high, and its flowers are yellow, with a ring of crimson round the disk. The plants are easily raised by sowing seeds thinly where they are to bloom, or by sowing in shallow drills and dibbling the plants out when about three inches high. TWO GOOD ANNUALS. In setting np vases and bouquets some light foliage or flowers are needed to lighten the effect. It is often a hard job to find something that will supply this want. Two good and easily grown subjects are Agrostis nebuloso, a very fine grass, and Gysophila elegnns. an annual with small white flowers. Both are amongst the cheapest seeds offered by seedsmen, and a small packet is sufficient for the average garden. Sowu now and transplanted when large enough they will make nice large plants which will give a lot of bloom for using with the early-flowering Sweet Peas, Stocks, Anemones and Ranunculi in early spring. DAFFODILS. There is such a bewildering list of varieties that the ordinary amateur is at a loss to know what to buy. The following list is not the most expensive or the 'best according to the exhibitor's idea, but they nre all good varieties that will succeed well under ordinary garden treatment, and are cheap, costing only a few pence. Those who require something better and more aristocratic can do better by perusing a catalogue: Beauty, Argent, Autocrat, Conspicuous, Emperor. Empress, Evangeline, Frank Miles, Gloria Mundi, Glory of Leiden, Golden Bell, Flamingo, Ideal, King Alfred, Lucifer, Mad de Graff, Mad Plemp, M. J. Berkeley, Mrs. Thompson, Pooticus recurvus, Princess Ida, * Red Coat, Seagull, Sir Watkin. WATER LILIES. With all the advantages of our beautiful Auckland climate it is a pity that one does not see more attempts at growing these beautiful subjects than at present. It is usually supposed that it is necessary to have a lake, pond, or 'some such piece of water. This ia a mistake, for fine specimens can be grown in an ordinary tub made from half a barrel. Water is of course, necessary. The tubs should be about two feet deep, and about the same in diameter, and if sunk nearly to the ground level, and a few dwarf gtrowing annual or flowering plants put round to hide the edge of the tub, they make nice adjuncts to a lawn. The tubs can also be used without sinking in the ground. FLOWERS BY POST. Flowers which it is desired to pack and send away by post should bo cut cither in the early morning or late in the evening. Beforo packing, place in water for at least an hour; the blooms, however, must be perfectly dry. The best material to place round the stems so as to ensure freshness at the end of the journey is damp moss. Pack firmly, and cover with a sheet or two of tissue' paper at the top. If the blooms are cut ivhen three-parts expanded, they will quickly open when arranged in vases of water.

PREPARING GROUND TOsX TREES AND SHRUBS. The preparation of the ground _j* correct planting are the secrets of »„. cessful shrub growing. Many shrub, do well under the most adverse condition, and treatment, but many oi the best net. a little care or they will not do. __ ere are many fine flowering subjects which come under the term "shrubs." it eludes plants of all sizes and subjects fit for any garden. In fact a garden of ' nothing but shrubs could be a penw fairy land provided care was taken in selection and planting. As a rule when - one speaks of shrubs, the idea is ci T e_ ' of a lot of tall green subjects which soon outgrow their positions, and which have to be eventually cut away. I n certain places tall and vigorous growing b}__. . are necessary, but in gardens the better and smaller growing varieties are I the most useful. Shrubs once planted ' occupy the same ground for years, and it is therefore only a fair thing to prs- ! pare the ground well by deep digging *__ trenching. The usual plan is to dig _ shallow hole and put in the roots and then complain because it will not grow Probably if you had dug the hole «__' left it you would find that it remained full of water for months. It win oV the same when the shrub ia in it, and the result is the roots are standing in water - conditions under which it is impossible l to have success. The preparation of the" soil for shrubs should be as thorough as •'■ if it was for sweet peas. They trill show equally good returns and will only need planting once instead of go far as manure is concerned probably tie majority will give fair returns without it, but all the same they will give better returns with it. Undoubtedly shrubs do not receive the attention they 'are worthy of. Those who are thinking of planting shrubs should have a look around and pick those varieties suited for their purpose, and to the positions they are to occupy. In planting, sweet fine soil should be planted firmly round the roots. The depth at which to plant is a question which often worries amateur gardeners, and in their zeal,. they often make the mistake of plantuigloo Experts advise, as a rule, shallow planting. The feeding roots are then near the surface, and so have plenty of air and the sweetest soil. After the shrabs have been planted, the. soil about them should be kept well cultivated. Weeds, should be removed, and the soil hoed frequently. Water and mulches should be supplied as necessary, and pruning and thinning regularly attended to. On the whole, flowering; shrubs give very little trouble, especially when well started, and there is such a wonderful variety now of beautiful hardy flowering shrubs" that we can have a constant succession of them in bloom.