RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LIII, Issue 142, 17 June 1922, Page 18

RANDOM SHOTS.

BY ZAMIEL

Some write—vain thought—for needless cash, Some write a neighbour's name to lash. Some write to please the country clash And raise a din; For ine, an aim I never fash, I write for fun.

From the reports I have heard of the excursion to the wreck by the Manaia, the Northern Company showed fine foresight in throwing in the meals with the price of the ticket and charging extra for the bunks.

"A bag containing _1;30 was stolen from a passenger by a Wellington tram•Jar last evening."' So ran a paragraph during the week. This must have 'been the tramcat tfhat ran away from its crew.

Following on Victoria's action in barring English artists from competing for the Stato war memorial prize, it is up to the Premier of Victoria to rise and lecture the English on their narrow Imperial outlook. English artists should bo content with th<? privilege of helping «o keep up the navy that protects Victoria.

A local writer asks us to note the beautiful way in which the Katoa, after rescuing the men from the Wiltshire, resumed its voyage to Whangarei in quest of cement. ''Without any parade of her feelings, the Katoa wont to thirescue of her comrades, and having done all she could for them, went about her business just as calmly and unpretentiously." I wonder if anyone asked tho ship to have a drink or offered Iter a ticket for the races, lint it is tin's strict, attention to duty on the part of ships in the face of temptations to loaf nnd dissipate, that has made the British mercantile marine what it is.

When the South African footballers wore bore there were reporls that their appetites were abnormal. One of them was said to have eaten sixteen sausages at a sitting. Evidently, however, the New Zealand team could hold its own in this reject. What a pity the two sides were not matched. If some of the evidence about the New Zealanders' prowess in this respect is correct, some of the team at times must have been ill a condition approximating to that of the hoy at the Sunday school picnic' who, on being asked if he would have some more cake, replied that he could oat but could not swallow.

What sin unconscious humorist the Kaiser is: At this time of day ho is suing newspapers for printing the old story of ihe lieutenant on his staff who gave him a black eye and was in consequence permitted to commit suicide. One would think there were other matters that would cause him more worry. Bui. he must be like the prisoner with a long record. "Tho prisoner," said tho Crown Prosecutor, "has been convicted of burglary, theft with violence, arson, assault, horse-stealing, riding a bicycle on tho footpath—."' "I protest, your Honor." said tho prisoner, "1 have never ridden a bicycle it. mv life."

A poem inspired by tho beginning ol" community singing has reached mc. It was addressed to the editor, but tho author was good enough to say that if it was not considered up to front-page standard, perhaps "Zainiel" would take pity on him. Perhaps, however, "Zamiel" has a standard of its own. Lot mc retaliate by quoting one verso: — In paeans of praise let your voices loud rinj. I»ose heart toncue, let spirits ascend: With great mother Nature find gladness in nil. Be helpful, aud happy, and sine The author supplies tho explanation that he coined "heart tongue" "as for song." Thanks. If poets would annotate their verses tho editor's job would be loss arduous. Rut 1 wonder if 'io tried to sing what ho wrote. Experts have boon to Taupo and assured the residents there that they have nothing to worry about. Trim Taupo is the subject of periodical tremors which rattle furniture and crockery and generally disturb tho ultimate foundation of daily life in a highly disturbing way. but the exports arc beautifully comforting. There is no cause for alarm. The visitations are purely minor tremors and not severe, and when the subsidence of the earth has adjusted itself they will cease. Very comforting indeed. Taupo must fool ashamed of its fears and apologetic about all the trouble it has given. But inoro interesting still is the comment of Mr. A. Warbrick, tho well-known guide. "There is no reason to fear any eruption or any explosion to cause any danger, because if you are going to have an eruption you do not get earthquakes. They come after the explosion, not before. Indeed, the very fact of the earth tremors—for that is all they arc —taking place, relieves the pressure, nets as a safety-valve, and does away with any danger of an eruption." So if when you are visiting Taupo next you are awakened in the night 'by chimney tops falling on the roof, and the wash-stand eareerinp about the room, call out to the man next door: "Hooray, Bill, this saves us from being blown

A correspondent wants to know why newspapers feature the fact that occasionally the tinder of money goes unrewarded upon restoring it to the owner. "It appears to bo assumed by these writers," ho says, "that honesty is a commodity which should bo bought and paid for. Unfortunately this feeling is largely prevalent, "Sud is stimulated by newspaper writers' comments. Two cases in point have just come under my notice. One is where a honest railway guard restored a roll of £100 worth of notes to its owner, and the following comment was made. 'The finder hum received a letter of thanks!' The other case was where a woman dropped a handbag containing a considerable sum of money, and a youth picked it up and restored it to her. 'Oh, thank you; thank you!- That was all'—was the newspaper record. In my young days 1 was taught by my parents not to accept rewards for doing my oflivious duty, and 1 have grown up to regard the offer of one as an insult. May not the owners of the lost, property referred to have refrained from offering anything for fear of giving offence? There is a talc told of a servant, maid who found a coin upon the floor, and on tendering it to the master of the house, was told to keep it for her honesty. On a later occasion upon a coin toeing lost the girl was questioned as to whether she had found it. 'Oh. yes, I found it, and I kept it for my honesty,' was the reply.'" I suppose flic only comment to be made upon this is that not everybody was (brought up so carefully as my correspondent.