RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LI, Issue 122, 22 May 1920, Page 18

RANDOM SHOTS

Zamil

Some write a neighbour's name to Insh, Some write —vain thought—for needful cash, Some write to please toe country clash And raise a din; For mc, an aim I never fash, 1 write for fun.

I desire to announce that, spurred by the example of the ladies' meeting last week I have decided that in future I shall.not pay more than 14 guineas for a suit of clothes, two pounds ten for a hat, three pounds for a pair of boots, ninepence for a cup of tea, and a shilling for a packet of cigarettes. The cost of living must be met by selfdenial. •Crtr£rCr£r(rCt A letter about Auckland in the "Otago Daily Times" caught my eye the other day. That ,paper'« correspondent in Auckland for the Royal visit had misquoted Kipling's fines on Auckland, and referred to this city as self-centred as usual. The editor explained to the •writer of the protesting letter that the correspondent had written his message for from his books—hence the mistake in the quotation, but he did not say anything about the second point. My •own feeling, is that, fine as they are, Kipling's lines, about Auckland, are overdone, and give a false impression of the place. "Last, loneliest, loveliest, exquisite, apart—". Why "last," "loneliest," and "apart"?, For thousands of travellers Auckland is tbe first place visited, not the last. Dunedin would be the last to many of them. "Loneliest"—Auckland is by no means the most isolated of cities. It is kept much more in contact with the outside world that Christchurch or Dunedin. Neither of these places has a through mail service connecting it with Australia and : America, or is so closely connected with ; Australia, or has a direct island connection. No, Auckland is not the out-of-the-world, dreaming place depicted lin the verse; it Is on the highways of the world, and very much alive. As for being self-centred, all cities are selfcentred, except, perhaps, the very great ones. I can never see the smallest sign that Auckland is any more self-centred than Wellington, Christchurch, or Dunedin. The prevalent idea in the South that she is so is simply one of those old deeply-rooted beliefs that become traditions and are accepted because they are never questioned.

! Wellington, according to Mr. Massey, went a little better than Auckland in her enthusiasm for the Prince. I suppose Mr. Massey could hardly say anything else. lam quite prepared to hear of the visits to other places, that "magnificient as were the welcomes at Auckland and Wellington, the reception here is in the opinion of those travelling with the Prince, the most splendid yet experienced," and co on through New Zealand to Australia. Diplomacy is not the only factor in this business. The experience that is quite fresh is naturally a very different thing from' the experience that is faded. Someone, may give you a cup of tea while you are tramping over the country on a hot day, and you will swear that never before have you tasted such a welcome cup. But at least two dozen times before you* have made a similar remark. My friend, "V., Auckland," makes the best earnmerit on Mr. Massey's comparison when he likens it to the way sailors have of describing their last storm as the worst they ever experienced. Sometimes it may be, but one feels sure that in many cases the freshness of the experience Is responsible - for the statement.

The Press is still busy telling «s that the Prince of Wales is a gentleman. The other day, at the Riccarton racecourse, he graciously picked up * race-card dropped by a child and restored it to the child's mother. I do hope that before the Prince leaves New Zealand he will travel in a tramcar, and give up his seat to a woman. The chronicling ot such an act by Royalty might set a stream of chivalry flowing. -Mrdirirtrk Jones looked worried as he dropped into a seat beside 'Smith in the tram, and Smith inquired the reason. "These Government Departments," replied Jones. "I've been trying to get a post office pillar box for our street for six months, but I can't screw a definite answer out of the Government. I've, got a file of correspondence about two feet high." "My dear boy," said Smith, "you don't know how to do things. Why don't you apply straight to Massey?" "But what's Massey got to do with the post office? Besides, he's a very busy man. I don't like to worry him." "Oh! You'll have to if you want to get things done," declared Smith. "You leave it to mc. I always see old Bill when ho comes to town —make a point of it. He likes it. I'll tackle him about that pillar-box next time be cornee, and you'll get it in quick time." Jones got his pillar-box, and a week afterwards he and Smith discussed in the car ' the announcement that Mr. Massey had been ordered a rest. "Poor old Bill," said Smith, "he's only got one fault. He will try to do too much." ******* Lenin, in decreeing work on Saturdays, proclaims the extirpation of the habit bf regarding work a.s a burden which demands remuneration.—(Cable during the week.) Comrade, what's this rumour? I am told ■that you, the good and true. ~ Fair offspring of the revolution, n-ill not work till all is blue! Say you want more wage and leisure, say that life Is more than toll! Comrade, I am shocked and s:aggered.

("Corporal, prepare the liollimr oil!") Comrade.' this is scmetlrliKr dreadful; don't

you really feel a thrill When yon heave the dirt from off the road

or stoke the furnace In the mill? "What? It's hard, and wet. and mucky?

Yes. but comrade, don't forget That you work uo longer for bhe slaver, -ut the proletariat. Now no bloated bourgeois drives you, buys

your soul with lilthy gold. Bribes- yon with an eight-hour schedule — thus are wage-slaves bought and sold! Now yon work for sake of working: never mind the time and pace. Think how sweating, hungry, Kussla leads the erring liimian race, 'Tis au honour to be tied all day to lathe or clotted spade, Xot by tihose who think of money is the new world to be made. Scorn the lot of British workers, overpaid and overfed, •Pampered by the cunning bourgeois, that they may be better bled. Comrade, I have talked politely, but behind my words there stand All the forces that our freedom put into my eager hand: Round tne corner 'boils the cauldron, clanks the prison's rusty key. Comrade, take a friendly warning, and beware of .thwarting- mc. Fut your aching back Into It, speak no more of wage and right, Or you'll join the blood-stained tyrants in fine everlasting night!