RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume L, Issue 70, 22 March 1919, Page 18

RANDOM SHOTS

ZAMIEL

so:np write n neighbour's natu«: to lasii, Borne write—vain thought—for needful cast iioiDo write to please the country clash And raise a din; for mc, an aim I never fash, I wriJe for fun.

So the Asquithian Liberals have won a by-election handsomely. Maybe this is a sign that the British publiofts waking up to the fact that (1) Mr. Asquith has not been in German pay, (2) that Mrs. Asquith is not a German, (3) that Mr. Asquith and his colleagues were not altogether idle between August 4th, 1914, and the rise of Mr. Lloyd George to the Premiership. 4*4i£*44**

The gentleman who during the week 'said that meat had not risen in price, is either a vegetarian or is in most desperate need of getting married for the im- i provemput of his education. Why, the pri?u of meat is now such that we might rtdupt to local conditions an American ; joke about eggs. We will suppose a man ordering a pound of steni v : n an Auckland restaurant. " I beg your pardon," I says tins astonished waiter. " A pound , iof steak," repeats the customer. " It's j this extravagance of the rich that j makes Bolsheviks of some of us," murmurs the waiter as he moves off to trans- | mit the order. • Talking about tho cost of living, an • American paper tells the following story: I The mother was putting her !itt!<: ,-hild to bed. "If you will he real qu : .i-<\ - ' she ; said, "I will "tell you the story about the i prince who killed a dragon and rescued"! a beautiful princess." "Oh, mother." j protested the child, "that story is tuo undemocratic for the present clay. Till ;me the fairy tale about the Government official who'killed the profiteer and rescued the ultimate consumer." I vrondt r i if it would be easy to find that oluri.tl ia I New Zealand. ', " Returned officer, married, seekg position, any old thing. Politician to Parson, : with all trades in between. Capacity to work, equal to any two-horse team." So van an advertisement during the week. Like Shakespeare, tho gentleman's characteristic is everything. £4*4**-i-*4* The praise that has been bestowed on I the Harbour Board for its offer of the ! old dock site for war memorial purposes. !is an amusing example of the mental ! fog that so many people get into when j they think of public property. We are asked to admire the generosrty of the Harbour Board in making the offer. Why gen«rosity? t One would think the I members of the Board were giving the i thing- out of their own individual pockets, whereas, of course, it is the public's property they are handling. Somebody remarked cynically during the week that the value of the gift could be recouped by another wharf due on cargo. But this idea'that Government and local body money is in some mysterious way the creation and property "f the Government and the local body—an inexhaustible well of wc.-ili • into which everybody can dip—is wi<:<iy held. Did not an Auckland 5f.P. once refer to Mr. Seddon ac the "donor" of public money? 4**4*44*44 The process of <! Covering , Great Britarn proceeds apace in America, with results very gratifying to Britons. Here is a pleasing extnt-t from a. T«ui3 newspaper: "TVhat sc- irity has the I United States for the 'millions of dollars I loaned to Great Britain? aske an anony- | tu-ous muttonhead of St. Louis. The I security of as sublime a, courage, as invincible a spirit, as unwavering a faith, and ac knightly an example of self-sarri- J i ftce as the annals of the human race dis- I i close. Next." Well, foT "n«xt" T j would suggest a little sermon on the I freedom of the seao. The paper might i ; explain, for instance, the difference be- : : twecn a freedom of the seas which for- i i bids foreign ships to trade between ; ! one American port and another—Manila ' j and Honolulu are American ports—and j the freedom which permits foreign ] ' ships to go anywhere they please in the i British Empire, and between the ports of the United Kingdom without restrictions. j ; Those careless returned soldiers, not ' to have watched the "Gazette" closely to : see how their voting rights were affected i by the Government's proclamations: A | returned soldier, of course, shoul-.l not '■ be thinking about his family or his \ friends, or be immersed in the joy of get- ' ting back to "God's Own Country." ITo j should be concentrating his attention on , his political rights; he should be waiting I in a long queue outside the Public i Library in the morning to get a look at I the "Gazette." At least that is appar- j j cntl} , what Sir James Allen would do if i Jhe were a returned soldier. | j i-i-4i*-*-i£*i The Dominion's official war correspondent informs the palpitating public, by cable message, that in the process of giv- [ . ing up housekeeping on the Kiiine "the , I soda-water plant nnd other oddments" j belonging to the New Zealand Division ! haw been sold. This was surely an error jof judgment. That soda-water plant ■ should have been broiight bfte.c to New ! Zealand and used as a temperAnce exhibit, i That Captain Malcolm Ross thinks it j j worth while to cable out that a soda- . : water plant has been sold may possibly lw a delicate compliment to the prohibi- j I tion party in New Zealand. Most of us, ! ' however, whether prohibitionists or not, ! would have exchanged this it<;m of news for something really valuable.