RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume L, Issue 64, 15 March 1919, Page 18

RANDOM SHOTS

"MMinEn?

Bftme write a neighbour's nr.me to lasii. Some write—vain thought—for needful casV Soinc write to please the country clash And raise a din; For mc, an alui I neVer fash. I wrltf for fun.

With salt £10 a ton, it is a very real • compliment to say of a man that he is [ j worth his salt. Also it becomes an ex- ' J pensive superstition to throw a pinch ot , salt over your left shoulder when you I spill suit at table. 4444444**4 'So Bishop Cleary has pioneered in , visiting his Hock by aeroplane. We . have moved a Jong way since the days when Sehvyn used to ride and walk between Auckland and Wellington. I Before ninny years have pawed the wife ,j of an Anglican dignitary in Auckland i inny inquire of her husband at teatime on .Sunday where he is preaching that evening, and receive as answer, "Whangarci; it will be a nice evening for a run. 1 haven't had time to do much to my sermon, but 1 shall be able to work at it on the run up. That new machine is very quiet, and my etudy in it is almost as comfortable as the one here. pl l hear the 'bus' on the lawn outside. J • . . C>ood-bye. I'll be back aibout \ ten." 4**4444445- ---, Overheard in the tram during the , week: '• What a perfect day! And (in a tone of strong disapproval) 1 see the > farmers are clamouring for rain!" I , suppose the personal point of view is . everything, but it really is astonishing . that it does not occur to a person like I this that his own enjoyment of a fine day is infinitely less important than the ' needs of the country. 1 don't know where and what this particular person ' draws bis salary from, but it is obvious that unless it comes from outside Xcw Zealand, it is ultimately based upon the prosperity of the farmer, which, in turn, rests upon an adequate rainfall. But, ' of course, fine days are very pleasant, and the farmer is out of sight, and con:j sequently out of mind. 4444444*** "I wouldn't work there for a quid a ' day. , ' so said Mr. George Witty, M.1., lat a deputation's interview with a Minister in Christchurch the other day jon the subject of the Otir.i Tunnel. Not to mention the fact that Mr. Witty has a much cleaner and pleasanter job at more than a pound a day on working days, the wording of this sentence opens up interesting possibilities. It may f >e the mark of Democracy that a member of Parliament should talk about a quid when he means a pound. On these lines we may have Sir Joseph Ward opening his next Budget as follows:—"Mr. Speaker and blokes, the country is doing all right. You take it from mc. Wo raked in during the last year twenty million lovely quid, and we J blew nineteen million nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand quid, nineteen I bob, eleven browns and three farthings. I Cobbers, it was a top-hole 6pree. That's not counting five millions that we touched Uncle .lohn for. Uncle John is a dear old bean. Is New Zealand still a)ble to look the grocer in the face? I I don't think. At tlie same time, 1 warn youse fellers that if the country goes on the rnzzle, it may be a case of 'goodnight, nursie" to all of us." (Loud cries of "Dinkiin)!" from hon. members.) 4:4444*44*4 The long spell of hot weather has made mc reflect upon the extraordinary difference there i.« in the dress of men r.nd women, and the tyranny to which we men submit all through the Auckland summer. Will someone tell mc why a girl wears a very thin, very Vshaped blouse, showing an amount of neck and bosom that sometimes recalls the famous story of the Bishop and the very abbreviated dress—why she wears this cool, unencumbering attire, while we men drag ourselves down to the valley of dry bones called Queen Street, weighed down and bound round I with woollen and cotton garments from I larynx to heel? The average Auckland girl may not be cool this weather, but she certainly looks cool, whereas no j man ever presents that pleasing appear- ' ance. Surely ttiere is here a glorious opportunity for men to strike out in a new defy convention. I would like to meet in Queen Street some : morning half a dozen young men with- . out coats, and with soft white shirts Byronically open at the neck. Think lof the comfort of that style. Thousands ;of school boys have discarded coats for all the year, and very neat and workmanlike they look in their shirt suits. I Why cannot men fbllbw blieir example fdr the hot weather!

Many years ago W. S. Gilbert aifjused the world with his descriptibh of life on H.M.e. Mantelpiece, commaMed by Captain Tteece. The sailors had featiierbedß, warm slippers, and hot-water cans; on hot days ices were handed roiirid, arid " the ' Times ' and 'Saturday Review ' beguiled the leisure of the crew." The humour of this state of.things lay in it being so very far from the reality of the sailor's lot, whether in the Navy of in the merchant service. Now observe this paragraph which appeared during the week, about a new American steamer that is visiting us: "She is a fine roomy vessel, and what surprises the visitor is the up-to-date accommodation provided for the crew. Without doubt they are the best catered for men who have visited Auckland. The sleeping quarters are fitted with iron pots, and each department has its own mess-room. The messrooms are fitted with steam heaters for boiling n-ater. and steam-table 3 to keep the food hot. In hot weather they are supplied with ice-water from a refrigerating plant, which also freezes the ship's moat. There is also a bathroom for each department, with a hotwater service supplied from steam-heat-ers, and showers attached." All this, be it noted, is a matter for surprise. The time will come when this will be less strange than that it should ever have appeared strange to us