RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XLVII, Issue 61, 11 March 1916, Page 17

RANDOM SHOTS

BY ZAMIEL

Some write a neighbour's Dame to lash. Some write—vain thought—for needful cash, Some write to please the country clash And raise a din; For m:, an aim I never fash, I write for fun.

Comparisons are always more or less odious, and it was surely in the worst possible taste, and quite contradictory of the accepted idea of French politeness for M. Marcel .Taures to state tnal the great battle of Ypres a j'ear ago was "a mere brawl compared with Verdun." No one doubts that M. Jaures fought at Yproe. and no one doubts that there has been a great and historic fight for Verdun, surpassing in magnitude and fierceness the memorable struggle in the north. But it cannot be forgotten that Ypres was mainly a fight of the British against the Germans, and that it was in some respects the greatest battle ever won by British soldiers. To call it "a mere brawl," therefore, is not consonant with the generous and gallant traditions of Frenchmen, nor is it what was to be expected from a loyal ally. I conclude that M. Jaures spoke in the excitement of the moment and used unguarded language. It is cTirious that he used almost the identical words employed by a military student at Sandhurst in describing a cavalry operation. The budding general wrote: "The principal use of cavalry in mi affair is to give it distinction and save it from being a mere infantry brawl." Similarly, perhaps, the idea was running through M. Jaures' head that the heavy artillery employed at Verdun redeemed that fight from the character of a "brawl." It is stated that it was the heavy artillery of the Germans that enabled them to drive the French back in the course of the titanic struggle that is still proceeding for possession of the empty shell of Verdun. I sincerely hope that the heroic French soldiers will succeed in gaining the permanent victory there. It has. by the way, hern remarked that Napoleon Bonaparte was the first great general tr> discover that artillery could kill men. The pinchbeck Napoleon of to-day has evidently laid the lesson to heart. ********** Rut of eoursr the Kaiser cannot win. Thi> French are calm under tin- most furreiis attacks now belnj; made on them, and have not yet begun to call on their reserves. They ire confident o! i-ictory—real victory—and not the "paper triumphs" which Germany U making£ueh sacrifices to win. Besides, the stars have eaid the Allies will or; victors, and Old Moore has been kiivl enough to corroborate the heavenly bodies- The noted astrologer, who l.a, b,en in the prophetic business for 213 years, lately declared: — ■The eclipse of the sun lv February (lOlii) will see Oerinany defeated and her le-lous driven back u> the conflnes of ber own country. The British arms will be triumphant and win victory atter victory. Holland 'Will suffer terrtble privations, anil will DC driven Into the war. Throughout the spring the most appalling slaughter will occur, and step by etcp the Allies will force their way ahead. A decisive naval victory Is denoted In May. Tbe culminating point lv ithp war does not orcur during ■101(1 ami It will not be until the following year that Hip hordes of (ierniany will w overthrown tlnally. "Power was elven unto the Beast to continue for forty-and-two months.' " The aged interpreter ie a bit "out" in his prognostication of the result of the eclipse in February, for the German legions have not yet been driven back; but his prediction of "most appalling j slaughter" throughout the epring is having literal fulfilment. The "decisive naval victory" that is promised two months hence may come off, for there are persistent reports that the German High Seas Fleet is at laet making an attempt to live up to its name. Hut, if Mr. Moore is risht in his identification of the Kaiser with the Beast of Revelation, the war will not terminate until October, 101", which will cud the fortytwo months of hie power. Rather a "long way" to the Tippcrary of Triumph! ********** The feverish anxiety now being shown by Germany to get some neutral nation or combination of neutral nations to Btep in with peace proposals is in striking contrast with the attitude taken up by Bismarck- forty-five years ago. When France was negotiating terms of peace, a representative of Switzerland approached Bismarck with an offer of friendly aid. "What are you coming here for?" Count Bismarck said. "What are you trying to meddle in? This is a question that is to be settled between France and us: and you neutrals are not to meddle at all with it. We have laid down our conditions; they are irrevocably fixed, and we shall not alter them. If they are not accepted, the war will begin again." That shows the Hun in all the savage pride of victory and brute strength. It is a hopeful sign to find him to-day in humbler attitude, going hat in hand to neutral Powers, and asking them to intervene. ********** It ia refreshing to find a new theory of who started the war, even though it does not shift the responsibility from where it rightly belongs. The real culprit, however, was not Nietschc, nor Treit6Chke, nor Bernhardi, nor even the Kaiser himself—it was Wagner! The author of the new theory is a Russian musician, M. Ansermet, who advanced it on his arrival in New York a few weeks ago. He declared that Wagner's introduction of tumultuous music, with the blare of trumpets, infused _ a warlike spirit into the German nation, and fostered it for yrars. Strauss followed the example of Wagner, and carried thi3 flamboyant martial spirit to the breaking point. Of course, when one coraee to think of it, there is a good deal in Wagner that is suggestive of Jack Johnsons and T.N.T., and other high explosivee. After the real war is settled, and the economic war has also been won, the Allies will have to start a campaign against German music and German bands! ********** Portugal, as an ally of Great Britain, h.is been in the war from the start, although her part in actual hostilities has not been great. She has now, however, challenged Hun hostility by seizing all the German shipping in her harbours. If Portugal should join in the European "scrap," one wonders whether she will resort to a form of conscription that was in vogue there early in the Nineteenth Century, soord Brougliton, writing from Lisbon, in ISO 9, said: "Service in the army does not seem to be popular. It is recruited by surrounding the public gardens from time to time and taking for service all persons who are found ineide and are unmarried."

Do my readers ever peruse the fashion notes? If they do, they cannot fail to •have ibeen etruck by the fact that a certain tone of sombre eccentricity perTades the prevailing modes. I read, for example, that ladies are wearing "black kid" hats and dresses of "nigger brown." Soon, I expect, we shall have "yallergal"' ■blouses. A few weeks ago an. English paper, describing a fashionable wedding, said that the bride'e travelling dress was "a nigger costume. ,. This suggests something lively, with red and white etripes, aijd bones and banjo accompaniment. ±±±±±±i±±± Another English paper, the "Kentish Mercury," is credited with making a beautiful hash of a wedding report, thus:— "• • . The bride, who was given away by her father, wore a dress of pale bridegroom. She was attended by the hat, and carried a bouquet, tue gilt of the pink taffeta slllc and a large dark blue bridegroom's two little nieces." No, dear reader; the reporter had not imbibed too freely, co that he was "seeing things." The kaleidoscopic jumble of the dress of "pale bridegroom" and the "dark blue bridegroom's two little nieces" is produced, by a eimple transposition of lines in a perfectly sane and sensible report-