RECRUITING CAMPAIGN

Auckland Star, Volume XLVII, Issue 31, 5 February 1916, Page 18

RECRUITING CAMPAIGN

SCOPES OF HDWOUR AND PATHOS.

SOME .CRASHES AND FANATICS. Those-of os. -vrho, during the last week in which the enlistment of men was possible urider the Denby scheme, were "'doing out bit" in the recruiting offices, had not by any means what is known in certain aristocratic circles as a "soft job of it," (writes a correspondent of tiie '"Weekly Scotsman), but strenuous and nerve-racking as the woTk undoubtedly was, it had many compensations, unique in character and varied in quantity in proportion almost to the number of men who passed through the hands of each individual worker on the respective staflis. It was a week of unceasing toil and worry, but every man who, for the few seconds during which it took us to fill up his "medical history" and "'attestation" papers, sat opposite or beside us, conenatuted an experience never before dreamt of or imagined, while thrills and shocks rapidly became the order of the day. Never before surely in so ahort a time was any single man accorded the privilege of witnessing so complete a representation of the ''comedie Humaine. For one brief hour or so the curtain was up, and the drama was played out before us in all the nakedness and unconventionality of verity unadorned. We were .privileged at times to ohtain a peep into tbe very inner recesses of a man's soul, and the tragedy of it all lay bare and cold as the world itself. Such a case was that of tbe young decent-looking artisan, who. when I retaarked interropa-torily that his wife's address would be the same as his own, replied, "No! Ye see we're pail-ted! She bides at an' mc an' the bairn are at ma mither'3! We've been there | for six years noo!" That, happily, was the on\y case of the kind I had, but I did not soon get it out of my head. My heart ached for the bairn, and I wondered what the woman's plight might be. But what was one to do? Yes, Indeed, it was a week of experiences; smiles were mixed with tears, and cheek by jowl on the form before us sat the very extremes of laughter and pathos. "AXE YOU MARRIED?" The questipn, "Are you married?" seldom failed to bring a smile to the countenance of the callow youth, although "one boy who had given his age as 18, answered mc affirmatively in a tone of such self-confidence as was only fully explained when he, in answer to tbe subsequent question as to whether he had any children, replied, "Yes! Three!" The question addressed to married men, "Was your wlfn a spinster when you married her?" likewise usually generated a smile, and elic'tcd an emphatic "Yes!" or '-Certainly!" The emphasis was particularly strong ip one case which came under my consideration. He was one of twp brothers who were floated in together. The other brother was normal in every respect, almost common-place in fact, and was very quickly disposed of by my colleague at the next table. But my man proved refractory from the very beginning. He seemed to be a martyr to extreme bashfulness, and at first refused absolutely to sit down. I explained that tbe business would take a little time, however, and eventually prevailed upon him to take a seat. H> had no sooner done 60 than he opened out, and that in the most extraordinary manner. He immediately lit his pipe, made himself comfortable, and commenced operation-* by an attempt at breaking tho shafte of his wit upon my own devoted self. We got through the papers very slowly together, but at last wo came to tho inevitable "spinster" qneation. Ho looked surprised for a second, and "What?" he asked, I repeated tho qncstion. There followed a moment of teneo silence, and then. "Yon " he said. (Tho oath was not less comprehensive than emphatic). "Do you thfnk I would marry somebody else's leavings ?"And }n a voice) of thun-

der, he demanded, "Was your wife a spinster?" This was the man also who, when asked whether he had any children, replied. "Of course I have children! Six!"

From data supplied by those I attested, I found the average number of children per family to be slightly less than four, while I believe fully seventy per cent of those I dealt with were married men. Is this because the great majority of single men have already answered the call? Or, arc the unmarried men in .our. district still -slacking? Time, no doubt, will tell! Further^'it was generally single men who volunteered tho information that they, or their employers, intended later to lodge an appeal on their behalf. On the whole, I however, the easiest man to deal with was the normal who had come to offer himself voluntarily, who made it clear | that he wished to be placed in his group, and who answered the question directly j and without cquivecatipn. THE ABXOB3IALS. On the other hand, perhaps the greatest nuisance was the young Civil servant or law clerk who refused to sit on the form provided for the attestator, who stood all the time behind mc, scrutinising, over my shoulder, all that I wrote, and who persisted in spelling for my instructio* and edification every word it was my business to write down, j One was glad to see his departing figure, and one's hope that the doctor would "-jolly well put him through it," was j heartfelt and sincere. It says much indeed for our present j system of education that ignorance was '■ not greatly in evidence, although there I were occasional cases of men not being nuitc so well informed as one, in those days of free schooling and newspaper apotheoses, might have been excused for I expecting them to be. One simple soul ' was wafted up to my table. "Jvc come tae ask ye aboot this Derby Scheme," he I said. "I'm no shair aboot ill Can ye 'tell mc if I'll hae tae jinc?" Appearances were against him, bo I asked his age. "Sixty-live!" he replied. One felt a"litt!e brutal in being compelled to die- | m'.B3 him unattested. The most lamentable caee, however, was that of a smart-looking young n-aster grocer. "Where were you born?" I asked. "1 diuna ken!" he said. Then, after a pause, "Oh, jist pit doon !" 1 did so, and passed to the next question. "What is your age?" "'I dinna ken!" Another pause, but this time with no signs of reawakening animation. " Have yon no idea?" at last I ventured. "No. Oh, twenty-nine; say thirty!" By tb.6 time he had apparently had enough of it, fpr, without waiting for fanther interrogation, he politely remarked:— "Man, ye're an awfu' writer 1" ANTI-VACCINATION CRANK.. Another abnormal who was frequently and very much in evidence, was the antivaccination crank. Nearly every candidate, in fact, hesitated upon the question as to whether he was willing to be vaccinated, but generally he accepted the inevitable when it was explained to him that he must be willing, or he could not be attested. There was one such on the last day, when matters were at their very busiest point. First he demurred, then'explained that he had already been viyscina-ted twice, and at last agreed. His papers were therefore duly completed, and'submitted for him to sign. In the meantime - the vaccination question had been simmering in his mind, for he lifted tho pen, dabbed it back on the table and roared, 'Til be d d if 111 be vacrinated." It was in no mild terms that he received his dismiseaL He was the last straw, in fact, for somehow tho opponents of vaccination were out in strength on the lost day, and tempers had for some time before hia arrival been getting rather brittle. Tho prime idiot also who was gnot going to bny in a polje," and therefore insisted upon reading every word of each of the three long documents before signing, was another great seqree ef irritation to the poor over-worked recruiter. Fortunately he did not comprise a numerous clafis, but he made up for his rarity

by always arriving at the very busiest •time. 1 only ran across one specimen of the disease in a virulent form, but it took mc fully an hour to dispose of him. The average time per man was five minutes, so one may imagino what the fate of the scheme would, bave been had there been many of his kidney. And he is to be, in the future, one of the nppelants to boot. So the Tribunal has indeed a treat in store.