TALKS TO WOMEN.

Auckland Star, Volume XLV, Issue 128, 30 May 1914, Page 15

TALKS TO WOMEN.

THE MIS U N DEKSTOOD GIRL. TONIC OF A HOLIDAY. i All Rights Reserved.l

(Inc of tin' minor tragedies of modern life is that so few girls go to their i mothers for sympathy and advice in j difficulties. This estrangement between j mother and daughter Is more often due j to tbe intolerance and blindness ot youth than to the intolerance and blind npi-s of age. Considering their upbringing the elderly women of to-day are wonderfully modern, surprisingly interested in all that goes on in the great world around them. And those who arc mothers do. for the most part, make very sincere and painstaking efforts to j understand their daughters, and wonder I why it is that the girl of to-day is aHiiust always happiest when she iii way from home. What all but very young mothers cannot understand is thp fpverish spirit of unrpst which ir. such a marked characteristic of the twentieth century, and .from thp pffpets of which not even schoolgirls are immune. The mother thinks it very dreadful that Daisy etiouhl continually crave for excitement, ami Daisy thinks it very unkind of mother not to let her have hpr own way in everything—and so, once again, you get the old. old struggle between youth and age. A Mi STALL GIRLS .MARK. Nearly every girl in her teens feels misunderstood and badly used at. times, and the average mother expects a certain amount of unrest and discontent ins her child ]>_.s*es from girlhood into womanhood. Rut there arc many girls who suffer unintprruptedly from depression and supreme discontent, who feci outsiders in thpir own hom.w, an.l who make those around thpm as misprable us they are themselves. It is difficult, indeed, to know exactly how to treat sii. h girls, and the tank is quite beyond the pfi.vers of most mothers. A growing igirl who is ,-lever and thoughtful is acutely conscious of her individuality. which she. of course, imagines is in Unresting and unique. Indeed, to hear young girls talk about personality one I would imagine that such a quality had i never existed until they discovered it lin themselves. Their mothers are much too .lull and un imaginative to possess j individuality! Childish conceit of this .nature will slowly evaporate with ypars, .though it is difficult to tirierute lit the I time. Al! that a mother can do in such ;a ease it to try and make her vain little daughter sec that true individuality and powerful personality invariably result in great deeds, and that a woman is not necessarily original and interesting merely because she lo.es poetry and i talks about her soul. IMOTIILRS (.AN SHOW SYMPATHY. j When, however, a young girl displays la dearly-defined interest j„ nlly special study or hobby, provided it is 'harmless in itself, her mother ought to show senile sympathy with it, even if she personally is uniuterooted in the new pastime. If you. a mother, prefer Mark Iwain to Thomas Hardy. but vouj daughter as a Hardy enthusiast, don't look bored when she wants tv talk about "less" or "I'ndcr the Greenwood Tree" L't her feci that you do take an interest ln her views, and she won't acquire that misunderstood feeling and rush off to 1,,-r dean.it friend and complain to her of "mother's want of sympathy.' Kvcry wise mother respects what personality her daughter may possess, but tries to lind as much common ground a. possible. A chance remark on the daughter's part may show the mother that they have interest., that are identical: those should be developed and discussed, so that a firm bond ot sympathy may grow „ p between mother

MOTHERS who NAt;

So many women make the fatal misiake ol perpotualiy "naggin.r.e They will not take the trouble "to reason ou'' and explain matters .„ -iheir girls, with the inevitable result. _h a t the average daughter feels that her mother and she absolutely nothing iv sympathy. A lutle he.irt-to-h.-art talk might save infinite misery ami inir-undejßtamling in th-e future, and it should be the duty of the mother io make the first overtures, for a girl in her teens is generally afflicted with a reserve and shyness that nuke ST-lf-revcla. ion difficult if she is not sympathetically and tactfully drawn out of her shell by a loving mother. Supposing, however, that all these remedies fail, there is yet another way of dealing with live misunderstood girl, and that is to send her away for a tlmp. If slip has to earn her own living she will very soon see her parents iii their real light, and will bitterly rpgivt iier past lack of consideration. But supposing she is a wpll-to-d-o girl, who is not. obliged 'to support herself, it will still do her all the good in the'world to train for some profession and earn ls>r living for awhile. .She won't think her mother hard and unsympathetic when eho comes in contact with an employer who is callous and unrelenting in. his strictly business attitude to his •employees. She won't despise her brothpre and sistprs when she realizes the selfishness and ilirusqin-nc.ss of her fellowworkers. She won't think of home as ■ lull and dra.> whpn slip is living in dirty lodgings in another town. It, is all a matter cf comparis-on. and the trouble of il is that so few- middle-.-lass girls of money have ihe chance of personally cimiparing their lives with those of others. 'A year's experience in 'lip world or" workors would ma.ke many a well-to-do girl appreciate her home surroundings iv hen slip rpturrrr-d to thorn at the end- of the lime. LET SEE LIFE \< IT IS. .Why not, then, if yonr daughter is ppevish anil diesatisefie-d with her home life, sond her away for a tiniv. making -Jip onp stipulation that she must support herself? She will get the opportunity' of meeting all sorts and conditions of people, and "=hp will realize that human nature outside her hoime is not so very different from what it is inside it. As a woman worker, siie will hea.ru. 100. to -hi- self-reliant- and independent, and if she has the right stuff in heT she will blossom -.Kit into a woman of fine sympathies and kindliness. Thouesandfi of c'lrl.-. who in a rash moment ha-vp said good-bye to iheir parents and the ohi home, with all its sweet ass, *:i at kins, have been deeply grateful to get bade io it. Away from Iri'tne i.lx-y saw it in ;is true perspective., and when they returned they wondered, after all. if the f.rtp of the mother they misunderstood was not infinitely loer.r than the fate of the misunderstood girl which they themselves enn-iderpd „,-. :r:i- : .. \ little personal epxperienee of ii:'.- in lodgings. or PVPn of life a'ii"!i.. friends, very soon makes a iri rl appreciate '.he beauties of her own home and ready to overlook iis dcfeeSCtS.