RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XLV, Issue 128, 30 May 1914, Page 18

RANDOM SHOTS

BY ZAMIEL

Auckland's late Sir la a Hamilton, is evidently a man of many parts — no; a mere soldier whose individuality 1,.i.s been etrpproased b_\ drill, pipe-clay and trf-a.trsces on military science. Jn our city he showed himself in t!ie character of an interpreter of prophecy, hy bis reference to the millennium: ae. ne journeyed southward, he budded forth as a poet and hiiTnorist. It wan at the civic reception in Palmers; e,n North that the "ftiU-tblown Oenera!.'' as lie described himself, "dropped into 7ioctry." He told how. on his journey from Hastings, his motor-car "broke down and he was reduced to walki-v.; bin -fortunately the cypress train "came along at ihe .terrific ra.te. that an express always travels, ajid the enginr-drivcr was so abounded at seeing a full-grown (rcncral marching along the roaei that he stopped the train" and- took him on board to Takapau camp. 8-sr 'lan said he believed it always rahred .there, and he expressed mis ecTtthneme about it in rhyme thus: — When next New Zealand's sons you muster, •P-eware, my friend of thp southerly buster. It turns all Mnoriland to Hood. rlarp here and there a lump of mud. It treats the soldiers auyhow, Especially at Takapau. After hie visit to the camp, lie was again compelled to undertake a walk. but two ladirs rame to the rescue and jrave him the use of itheir motor-car. This stirred 'his Mtt6P to furthpr effort, attd he worked off the following neat piece of parody: — Oh, woman, on a sunny day, You go on any sort of wayi But when it rains at Takapau. A ministering augel thou. At Wellington ?ir lan also experienced inclement weather; but. speaking at the civic welcome, 'he declared that the •warmth of hies reception fully atoned for the fault's of .the climate. The Mayor (Mr, J. I. Luke) had remarked, with the same son of perception that I have of the General's versatility, that the city's .guest would have been succefisful in any profession, t-ir lajt, acknowledging .the compliment, rather doubted if he would have srucreeded in cany other profe^ion; "but it he harl chosen any other calling afte: what he had passed .through he would certainly choose that of a hatter in Wellington. But he had thought while he was chasing his hat during thy morning that a fierce and fickle climate makes a sturdy and kindly people." Very neaily and wittily put, and the .well-turned compliment must have quite rlieearmed Wellingtonian resentment at being reminded of the "zephyrs" charac_en_s±ic of .tire capital city. On reflection, I iAxnk I must add. "coiiEtier" to my list of Sir lans accomplishment,?.

£44±£±ii±* One might as well try to dam .Niagara as endeavour to .radicate the presentday taste for prurient literature. I b«lieve the only praj_tk_i outcome of a recent tittenapt io ihoycoitt the sale of a Hall-Came novel in Auckland, ou the ground' of its immoral teaching, has heen thai ihe ibookeeller. have had a quick sale fear all th. copies ithey had of it. And the poor fools who "rushed" the s>ook .have found that, apart from certain mat very .advanced or hizarre view,, on marriage, the book is moral to the point of dullness. 1 have seen it stated that tiny author considers his fortune as good as made if he is lucky mough to get a hook placed on the Index Expurgatorius of the Catholic Church; and it would not surprise mc to find that this is true.

iiiiiiiiii A writer in a -Dtmedin paper tells how he once sat beside a librarian at a 'book auction. A volume entitled "Twelve Bad 'Women," or something of that kind, was put up. It was very popular. and ethe bidding was among a group of men who did not look al all bookish. The librarian said to him: "They think it's something dirty, but it isn't." Similarly, th. public, libraries of ethis and other countries find .that the books most in demand are those with suggestive .titles, or that have a reputation for spaciousness. The Wellingtoiii ipu-blie library i_6ue« 7,000 volunws a month. of which 6.000 are novels, nearly all of the ruibbTßhy or unhealthy kind. A clergyman of ethe windy city rpopntly took occasion in a sermon to warn hie congregation against Tending a certain novel eSis of his hearers (and five of tehem women or "flappers") were at ethe •library next morning inquiring _or the book. Even in "canny" Presbyterian Dunedin, the Athenaeum librarian stated in his annual report that any book that had the least hint of suggestivenes3 in ite title was sure to go out often, and ill the hooka scoring top numbers in the etmrea issue.! were books of .hat class. The moral of all which is that, perhaps, a public censorship would do good, but certainly the private censorship of kirks and purity leagues eleics an. infinity of harm.

If any proof were reiiuire-l to support th. allegations that -the Ulster agitation is nut spontaneous, and U. not hatred on a genuine fear of persecution of the Nationalists, bill is a purely political movement, "engineered" by English Tories, it is provided by tV docility with which the Ulster Die-Hards and iNo-Surrenderers obeyed the order to cea.se agitating and make no protest when the House of Commons passed the Home Rule Bill for the third time. The Unionist wire-pullers evidently reeiJjrnisc that the ga.me of "iblut." has failed miserably. They try to save t-heiT face 'by professing that thp Ulsrter rpbellion has only been postponed, not abandoned; but I hope and believe that, when King tj-eorge in a.be>ut four weeks' trmp affixes his s-igrtajture to the Home Rule Bill, the "rattling boys from Oe.unty Down" will be advis_d to loyally take it "lying down." and will follow the advice ' sullenly, but whh profound thanlc;..ineas that they were not ordered to fight instead.

iiiiiiii".* Peyton is almost as touchy as Aueklind is on the subject of Its climate, hence the following announcement in a recent issue of the "Homing Leader," published at 0-olombo:—"It is learned officially -that ihrir Excellencies are delighted with the. climate, which appears to agree with Lady Chalmers, as well as with the scenery."' Sow, f really wonder if Auckland's climate agrees with et-he scenery: ir. seoets to suit their _j.f<-lencies all right.