HOW I WOULD DEAL WITH STRIKES AND STRIKERS.

Auckland Star, Volume XLIV, Issue 16, 18 January 1913, Page 21

HOW I WOULD DEAL WITH STRIKES AND STRIKERS.

SUPPOSED TO BE WH.ITTBX BT MRS. MAI—PROP. Strikes! I'm sure rd soon end them, my dear, if I 3—d obsolete power — my hands. VTay, it was o—y yestenia 7 that I set onr to •-ail on Lady Chit-—at, and couldn't get a j-ard down the street on account of the crowds that had coring—ed —ere. A man on a tnb was making a speed!—of course he vr— one of those ridiculous phonerJcal Soj-ia———and, th ougb the police had formed a cotiilon round the spot, they were quite helpless, w3—st the speaker showered conrses and embrocations on their heads. Wiat could I do, my dear? I tried; liard to make a renegade movement, but the people who halt dissembled rocnd mc wouldn't budge, anci so I had Just to listen . pari—tiy. . The orator was doing his best to arouse | the savage and sedentary instincts of the j mob. It is strange how easily people are | led away by these turbulent decalogues. ; The Tn-m was expatriating upou the sins j of the upper classes, and calling them lazy j parricides living on tie labour of poverty- j stricken end indigo millions. He ia a member of the Amalgam—ed | Society of Railway 4"ervants, and, on account of Ms great debilities as a speaker, : the audience gave him a tremendous eva- ! sion. They seemed to enjoy his tropica! 1 Illusions very much. He said that when he saw the wretchedness all around him, and reflected on the vici—tndes of Fortune, his mind was filled with the most painful Gnnuskms. I soon got tired of his ocular sayings, irnt I -ar— wedged in the crowd and carried off my feet; in fact, I _oug— I'd never stand on terra cotta again. Then, I trod accidentally on somebody's foot—l si— dder to tell you what he said. He actually called me—yea, me—a "lean and slippered pantondme," quoting (the scour— rel!) from my beloved poet. Of course I at once gave his words a paregoric— denial; in fact, I told him he had uttered a frigid and' castigated lie, and I was haring the best of the matter when BO ***s°ne a few yards away suggested that It was only a physiological inexactitude, which made them all laugh. Just then, at file chronological moment, a battalion of the Royal Fusees, armed with Ratner rifles, arrived and sent all the people about _elr business, so —at I managed to get home. Such a day I never 6pent in ail my life! ■What would 1 do, my dear, if I got the chance? Why, Td very soon put an end to such proceedings, and! make people pursue i3—ir proper trades end invocations in Peace, even if r had to send: the most fragrant offenders to prison. If I were _.P. for the consistency, I'd pass a law to pull down all the s_ms and mate it into a healthy aud lugubrious district. Everybody would have to submit their disputes to mc for abrogation, and I'd use my own digression in each case. -But, dear, I'd make the employees pay every man good wages. Then there would be no need to resort to stem or autographic methods of putting down disorder, ai_ 1 would not make use of the military except On great prevarication. If I only I—d aa i_por——ty, my dear, I'd soon bring: about such a state of peace and quie—ess as would be altogether un!*redcst_—si in the history of —c territorial Td bring _ a Golden Age similar to that in which "burning Sandow loved and sung," as Byron tells ns in his beautiful ode. I am sure, dear, that you cordially resuscitate my sentiments. But I see I'll have T» leave you—why, I must Hy at once. Lady Frizzle will be wild at being kept so long. Good-bye, and try to hefcave yourself till I return.