RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XLII, Issue 299, 16 December 1911, Page 15

RANDOM SHOTS

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lame write n neighbour's name to lasli. Same write—vain thought—tor needful cash, ■nma write to ptettsc the countr/ clash, B And raise a din. r.r me, an aim I never fash—- ' I write for fun.

In making a few casual remarks ■bout elections, once more I take the ■recaution of anticipating the natural Murse of events. Not that I am gofgu to prophesy, you understand. But I am determined to enjoy the luxury if a non-committal frame of mind as long as possible, and therefore I am pot waiting till the Second Ballot is decided to invite these observations. And all I want to 6ay is that I wish I jould understand the principle on which some people vote nowadays. I was always brought up to believe that it wns the duty of the electors to put Into Parliament the man that they thought best fitted to help govern the country. It isn't a bad idea either; but you have only to consider what happened at the first ballot to see that jt is more or less out of date, so far ag Auckland is concerned. How 3,500 presumably intelligent and publicspirited people in Parnell could vote for the greatly daring Liberal-Ijibour-Opposition candidate who head«J the poll, and how 2,100 otherwise rational human beings in Grey Lynn could g' ve their support to the inTentor of the famous "45" puzzle, will always remain a mystery to me. But there is such a thing as political humour, and perhaps it is all a joke. Jor the sako of Grey Lynn and Parjell I sincerely hope so; and my readers will have discovered the truth ' before these desultory remarks see the light. £44**3:**** A few days ago I received a letter frim a man whoa. I really respect, explaining that he was throwing himself ieart and soul into "the struggle for Peace." It seemed to me rather illogical that anyone should' want to ensure Peace by engaging in a violent conflict, and I reflected that this was probably only a

figure of speech. But subsequently I lave had occasion to observe that some of these advocates of Peace are a peculiarly belligerent lot of people. They beld a meeting in favour of Arbitration ~«s a substitute for war the other day, ill one of Che numerous Carnegie Halls 'liat the opulent Scotch iron-master has devoted to the cause of Peace, and before the'performance was over the police had 'to be called in. Rather characteristic, isn't it? It reminds me of the Conti'lental Socialist Congress which always appears to break up with a. free fight Wr way of illustrating the sentiment of : TJnrversal Brotherhood. But. anyway, it is truly remarkable that enthusiasm for. Peace nearly always seenns to carry 'people to the point at which they are 'prepared to fight anything within reach. Ofrious anomaly is human nature, d'on't fethink? . The ancients had a proverb "ftftlirt' the need of preparing for war 'iiybu are really anxious to keep the pace. I suppose the Carnegie Hall in.fient throws some, light on its mean'tog; but hardly the sort of light that the lirbitration League intended, Let me see—Jast week I <»s talking liout beards, apropos of a. suggestion from my good old friend "ConataJit ReadIf," who professed to have faa&i entertainment in my brief dissertation on pigtails. Well, I have come across a like evidence on the fashion in regard to rhat the "Family Herald" used to call "hirsute appendages," and it may posJihly interest "Constant Reader" some Bore. Mr. J. B. Haggin, the American Bnlti-mfllionaire and stock-breeder, has failed orders that all the many hundreds of hands on his largest farm are to shave every second day. He is very touch in earnest about it because he has Jut up a barber's shop to start work on the "ranch," 1 and he is constructing a i Kg bath-room "replete with every modtm convenience," and as the thing is to eost $100;000 I can quito believe it. Mr. Haggin's reason for these drastic mealuras is that in his opinion whiskers and 'beanb. are dangerous. They are, as his manifesto explains, refuges for microbes wd bacilli of all sorts, and he partieuhrly doesn't want the dairy industry mined thereby. I wonder how the free ttd independent electors of New Zealand toul'd put up with an edict of that sort, «ren in the butter country, where they «e prepared to' sacrifice most things tonan and divine on the altar of Cow. But anyhow, this is one good substantial tcason for shaving, and I submit it for Reader's" conscientious confederation.

But there are other ways of looking | this portentous problem, and one ol Wm. is suggested by a certain Capta|n- George Macllwaine, a retired »»val officer, who created not a little Home after the late King's ™«n by urging every man in the Three kingdoms to cultivate a beard at pronation time in memory of King Mward and i n honour of King George m .appeal on behalf ti the beard is so JMnetic that I can't help transcribing JJiie of it for the benefit of local MtOßrtcß of the clean shave. m it not incomprehensible that the fcanhood of the Empire who are otherwise always ready to accept a Royal SL onld ' m this matt " show such "raifference, or worse, to the views both and implied of their kings? " it not time that they emulated' their Samples and fulfilled their wishes? The Mitish Empire beardea and manly would SB a memorial to our late King *» heart would have loved, and no one «n doubt how such a memorial would » appreciated by his son, our present « n K-' Quite so; but as far as the coronation was concerned, the gallant Wain had omitted to take account of m fact that it fakes time to grow a "went heard, and that if the Peers had '(Mowed his advice they would o'nlv have •uweeded in looking like convicts halfifiy through a long sentence on the eventful day. Still, it may oe worth reflecting about, that this' is a cheap and wnvenient way of demonstrating your 'oyalty, and if there is an/ chance of getting a beard substituted W a contribution to the next Dreadnought needed at Home at our expense, the idea might be well worth our earnest congelation.