MERRIER MOMENTS.

Auckland Star, Volume XLI, Issue 293, 10 December 1910, Page 14

MERRIER MOMENTS.

y •-,"';• aF'TfiEM. j *(}oii»g wp to hear- that lecture on ap-»M»^t«..-_-?<H4»y» , *'--'-"Noi'-'l , m tired of WWW. Wgftft "r«.»tfti_i "- '. r . fgg WHPNft- WOMAN. - *<tj thftt y<mj . mo.ther-in-la-w over there wailingat yoftt" 'tso_ if she is emilifl* ftt mc it » not my mother-in-i»w."_ ■ ..;. -:. ■■■?' ;' A- -.';'- ...,:, -4IJCSSI. entry' appears in. the yinltqw' bftofc pj ftn hotel in Guernsey: • -The living here is good, plaint 'a'hd sub: stufltml, jlo i» the waitress." IT GJpiW. - Jenking: ,f ßad cold you, have, Thomp. e,OA- HpW did ypn contract it?"'Thomp-' aan> "I didn't contract it. It was only ft Uttle-we, a«»d X e*s>_anded it." . NO? IMLf ONE. ... .' ajtra- .-Blinks, (m art museum): "I knftW yeu were such an admirer ipj Wfflh ifffp. B;lpdeiiby." Mrs. Bliin : 4eri»y: ''ph, yea, indeed : I just delight '■!" " ".-■'■% .. ■ ;' ":-fWii'''iik'''*^''^''W^w > ''-'' w^iz^1 "" i s a i* *$$&$, Victims killed UPWI'"w. ?o*3» ./When the p'liceman h*il» him, the chauffeur speeds his pace; iffi't 'WWr-. *. J»etty..%ay to treat the DEAR LEFFLE FREDDIE!, iAlgy—"JTour_.sister is.a long time making up her mind to come down,. Freddy.'? Freddy—"Oh, it's not that." Algy—"N9t what?" Freddy—"Her xnind ehe'g making up.** •'.;,'. , : " ";VV J • "'"" ' -^l QNItY : HAIiP TSDXJGAtn^ez: r -;-- Lady: "1 w*At jno.n to. gjgQ'yfflg. iainq on this paper, swearing t° SHIISSB $_?% i drink, for one year." " ; >.'-v:... r .. | Loafer: hj: would with Measure, mum, I only i write in the 'cos", 1 at ft _nlght-s^ooji'.',,,. TKUE tDO LIFK."' "Enth," said the mother of a'little miss who was-entertaining a couple-'of amail playmates; '*why don't 1 yoii play-aj. something instead of sitting and looking imserftWer- .Euth-^rV^e'r c ■■■ Rtoing we'w grow* ni» .iwomen I; mfti(ing * «d^« , -'' ,- --.-.-=-.<,-< ■:;.,:,: "Madame, your husband does not seem tp • have any organic trouble,",i said the physician. ''On, no," exclaimed Mys Pneurksh, *not in > this-- neighbourhood;" but the folk that live next door to 119 have a gramophone that worries him nearly to death/* ."' ; SHE ENDOBSED THE CHEQUE. 'T want' cheque the fair young matron, appearing -ifc'■". •window pf Ithe paying"tplier." " •' " ' "Ifes, You must it though,"' the ieiieir. r "Nfafi m y' boa'bstni sent'it'to nje. ia ftiway' on She said. ""' .endpree' it On the back, so we. will knWand your husband wifl Ifnow that v iffe it tp' Wf-' n . . "" '"j She TKent to the desk agsi|n s t fe e MU, and m-a few moments presented the cheque triumphantly, having written on it» h.»ek; ■'" . . ■<$.. •.' , I •jyomr ioywg wife, Edith." '• •

WgAT fATHEB, Xfifa% Johnny: *'My dad's a policeman, m»i. does your father do?' 1 .--. • *: dissmys "What ma trila him*■ ■ SUQH A SILLY" She: "-Do you think it's unlucky tom married on a Friday?" Ha: *Of Why should Friday be an exception f»' WANTED MOPL ' Wilson; "Wha-t did -'4»t pretty ahem girl say wben you stole ft . Ipsjgl? j3S." son: "She'said; 'Will that'i)e*aU^bl. day?'" yiy-: i : ; ' ' - t: . . Little Johnnie.:' " Mother",'-.tejjf ■ jnjjrjqf Ps» got to knpw you." day I.fell mtp -waW|--4M'-lia''iw»tt<'-in and fetphed ?ne. opt." ' Ltftlf .Tpftngfr "H'm! :fuimy; Jie''.waft''-let'.•■si" $$ Bw^m." ~" ':.. '/;;' : ;. ■- ~ SIS WON' .-' .- . '. Well, Bobby, hpw .■»' your Ei__farr aalfed the "Oh, _jh?'f ijok in JmJ; hurt herself terrible,?'- replied the-ygutt. ■'.'-< "I'm sorry to hear that. Bow didVjj.' j happen?!' !-\ye-were plftyin'. wh« Wfll? Latin the farthest out of th* window* and she won." ■ --''._'. .-'.._-' ; . '~- v- • :■:

:■_-.,'. SEYPSSfc ~- - Thi* is now the sixth time that fvitft for her in vain.- If she it not ken tomorrow I'll go away and disappoint hvl ■•:\ A MAN OS BEBQUKC&r -"' Mr. Justintrpduced: '-'Whe hi'*ha*'»*;fully plain man over there in the oarm ■Mrs/Hobson*"'- .--''» •""'.' -'Mrs. Hobson: ''That fa\my hnshaai? '■'■ Mr; J,:' f'Ah, how truest is'- I plainest men always • marry--tha' Wp! "est : .rives. 1 ' v "' :''-■ •-' ■ • fr -'.-""'->.:_'"■ WHY PAT- 'ifIPAMt: , Pat vfj^|'.|C n^rried .'RSrj: J>9*; . married map.. no.'fewft . than l°wtpei,,.»nd aft $''''sJiws *ffstill t? the fore- *• -"' '. Accordingto:Pat's.' ! -«irHf »)?e^t'tif Z ■? 'fore the conri, hi f^.tried ihigamy p.us found guflty, hi B ,IIW9W?W:. %ere, not" altogether , judge, in "passing sentence. '.STOWfiSi-P .-■ •flf'o'nder' tiiat".t-he f jfjt.:a, hardened villain delude.*l9 Vf»IS ■\ypmen. . . . - •-■ .- -KYer". Honor,": sad Pat, awty|e!jp_>: ' '-'I -p;. only,,ttyi# #'-; ip it's nqt ~'- » :